Hi everyone,
I recently got divorced and I have met some new people at the divorce support group here in my town. One of the guys at the divorce group seemed like a nice guy and we had a lot in common so we paired up in the buddy support system so we could call one another if there was a problem. Well, it has been a couple of months now and he calls every night and I go to find out that he also is attending other support groups such as the cancer survivor group, the addiction support group and some others. I dont think he actually ever was married or has any of these problems and is just looking for people to latch on to at this point. How should I deal with this individual. I have tried not answering the phone and the door but he persists and has waited for up to 6 hours for me to leave my apartment to go out.
2006-12-01 08:46:39 · 14 answers · asked by Wayne H 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well I saw this in a movie once. I think it's a cry for attention on his part and a touch of obsessive behaviour too.
You can always get a restraining order from the police. If he breaches it, he is in violation of the law and can be arrested / charged.
Don't be thick now.
2006-12-01 08:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by quay_grl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the fascilitator of your group and explain your concerns. It sounds like this guy is practically stalking you! You may have to very clearly tell him not to contact you outside of the group any more. If he persists then there a number of things you can do - the easiest being to block his number, join a different group (or at a different time), shake up your routine a bit. If you do run into him, look him right in the eye and tell him do not want any contact with him outside of the group. Then continue on, completely ignoring him and not getting hooked into any conversation or emotional outburst. If he still persists then it's time to talk to the police.
2006-12-01 16:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by zenobia2525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a real predator. You were vulnerable, and sincerely looking for support. What you got is the opposite. Tell this person to leave you alone. Be firm! If he persists in stalking you, call the police. Then have a restraining order put on him, if he keeps trying to bother you.
Be more careful!! Take care.
2006-12-01 16:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. That is awful. Taking advantage of people, especially of peoples weaknesses is just unfair and the ultimate form of betrayal.
He's been dishonest. You should be forthright with him. Tell him what you found out. Tell him you have no interest in continuing a friendship with him. Then stop communicating. If he persists, call the authorities... it doesn't sound like he's mentally stable.
2006-12-01 16:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by carmenPI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him you don't want to be friends anymore,preferrably on the phone in case he freaks out,and if he still persists,call the police and get a restraining order.
2006-12-01 16:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by SarahF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have found yourself a STALKER. Tell him you don't want to talk to him any more. If you try to be nice he will not get it and wont go away. Good Luck and about your divorce sorry. It will get better in time. Been There Done That it will get easier
2006-12-01 16:59:00 · answer #6 · answered by Nani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, make sure that what you suspect is right.
If it is, then I suggest that you break away now.
Tell him, in a straightforward fashion, your intentions so that there could be no confusion.
It will help neither him, nor you if you continue to let him have his way or give him a false sense of hope.
In fact, in the end, it just hurts him more.
2006-12-01 16:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by Simplex Spes 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell as many people as you can about this guy like your family and friends.! He sounds dangerous. It sounds like he's stalking you! You need to be firm and tell him his behavior is unacceptable and you no longer wish to have any contact with him. If he persists go to the police.
I don't mean to freak you out but you shouldn't take any chances with this guy!
2006-12-01 16:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by cacabella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now give the person the benefit of doubt, and things turn funny be firm and break-a-way.
2006-12-01 16:53:33 · answer #9 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRSTLY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO THAT GROUP. YOU SHOULD HAVE COPED WITH THAT PROBLEM BY YOURSELF, CAUSE EVERY DIVORCE IS UNIQUE IN IT'S PROBLEMS, AND REASONS THAT LEAD TO IT.
SECONDLY START GOING OUT WITH HIM AGAIN, JUST FOR REBOUND IF NOTHING ELSE, AND MAYBE YOU'LL START LIKING HIM... IF NOT KILL HIM WHEN HE'S SLEEPING.
2006-12-01 16:59:00 · answer #10 · answered by Rozel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋