I was recently engaged, I kissed another man while my fiance was away. He knew something was wrong when he returned, he said please tell me what is wrong we can get thru this together. I truly felt guilty about what I did but it meant NOTHING to me, it was a genuine REALLY BAD mistake. My ex cannot get passed this, we have been seeing each other, we have been intimate, but he cannot get passed this. I know he needs time, but how long can I hold onto this string of hope?
2006-12-01 08:44:24 · 9 answers · asked by KCSH 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes I was drinking at the time with people I should not have been around.
2006-12-05 06:35:02 · update #1
He should forgive this and get past it without much difficulty..
If he cannot then he has a problem and you should not marry him.
2006-12-01 08:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fidelity in a relationship is very important.
Truthfully, there is alot of information missing. Was this person you kissed someone you knew or some random guy at a bar? Was this person someone your fiancee new? Have your been together for a long time?
Many relationships can work through infidelity, however, it is not easy and does not happen easily. Trusting a person is not an easy thing to do, and once your break that trust, it may never come back.
Personaly, I would STOP being intimate with him, or anybody. Sex only confuses situations even further.
You must also reflect on WHY you kissed another man? Maybe there is something you are missing out on, which is the deeper root of the problem.
Good luck and stay strong, but understand, this may be unsalvagable.
2006-12-01 16:53:25 · answer #2 · answered by Venza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why'd you kiss him? What were the circumstances? I'd love to know more details. If it meant nothing, then why'd it bother you enough that your fiance knew something was up? It'd be normal to feel guilt over some drunken bar kiss - but I'd think it'd be just enough to give you a good wake up call that you'd never want to do anything "serious" and make you realize how much you love your fiance and wouldn't want to hurt or lose him. In which case it would have been best to live with your guilt and spare him, but that would have been if it was REALLY "nothing". There's more to this than the kiss. Oh, and of course he still wants to "be intimate" guys want sex...that doesn't have anything to do with the health of the relationship. He might get over it, but it'll always be on the back of his mind.
2006-12-01 17:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by I have ideas... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might sound silly but it may be in how you're playing your cards. If you beg for forgiveness and act really sorry and apologetic, you appear extremely guilty. If this kiss really was NOTHING, you wouldn't make such a big deal about it. It's weighing a lot on your mind so it's weighing on his mind. Well, you've already dug this hole. Just imagine how you'd feel if he kissed someone. Think about it while you pack your things because he may never let this go.
2006-12-01 16:52:48 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you do something to make someone not trust you, it takes a long time to gain the trust back. Think about it, if he had kissed someone else, would you be able to get over it quickly, even if he told you it didn't mean anything.
You need to be patient with him, he has every right to be hurt and angry. There isn't a time limit for getting over things.
2006-12-01 16:57:20 · answer #5 · answered by AmyB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he truely loved you, he would get over it...i mean after all it was a kiss not a fling in the hay...you know you made a mistake and to be honest with you if he cant get over it then you need to just move on.
2006-12-01 16:54:24 · answer #6 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give it 6 months.
2006-12-01 16:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by Stacye S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
breaking trust takes awile to get past,just hang in there
2006-12-01 16:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to kick your azz to the curb.
2006-12-01 16:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by EZ Wider 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋