helllpppp! ten points to best answer. and i mean it!!!......?

Question

my best friend is great. but she knows who i like, & she is friends w/ him. even tho this guy & i have talked before, we are both the shyest people on the planet, so he would never come up & start a conversation w/ me bc were not good friends.

but he has loads of conversations w/ my bff. and she shares the details ALL of the conversations & fun she has with him, KNOWING that i never talk to him due to my 1) lack of seeing him and 2) shyness near him. & she rubs it in my face that she has all these great moments with him & that theyre great friends. i dont know if she does it on purpose, but i feel left out. i want moments too, im just too shy. here are my questions

1. i feel like my friend is stealing this guy! she is also one of those gorgeous, sociable, confident, funny people... how do i outshine her for my crush?
2. i cant just tell my friend straight up that shes bothering me--she will get defensive & claim shes not stealing him blah blah blah.. so how do i get her to stop?

ps. a lot of you are saying, thats not a true friend. a true friend wouldnt compete etc..

but i dont think its a competition really. please dont say shes a bad friend and stop hanging out with her. you wont be helping. just answer my question.

Answer 1

1. Be yourself- if it is meant to be, it will happen. Talk to him- if you don't he won't get to know you. I have noticed that a lot of the guys answer yes when asked questions on here about whether the girl or not shoudl tell her crush. I have started to just tell the guy when I like him now, because I asked a few guys out and even though they weren't interested in me in that way, it wasn't weird after.
2. You need to think about how much this friendship means to you. It sounds to me like your friend knows exactly what she is doing with this guy, and what she's doing to your heart. I don't know if she likes him or not, but you need to confront her about it. Even if she denies it- follow your heart. If you think she isn't being a great friend and is doing this to you on purpose, you may need to find more valuable and kinder friends. And talk to the guy- it can't hurt- I'm shy too, but I'm trying hard to overcome it. If you say you don't see him a lot and aren't already great friends, then it wouldn't be like you see him a whole lot anyway, so if he wasn't interested, you wouldn't have to face him all the time, dad after day. Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't think it has anything to do with being friends, I think it's just how she is. Some people are naturally competitive because they're use to getting their way. She's not going to stop unless you say something about it and if she gets defensive then maybe there's more there than she's not telling you. And yes you can tell her how you feel, she's a human being just as you are and friend or foe you shouldn't be afraid to express your feeling to anyone if it means you're being hurt in the end. And there's no need to outshine anyone just be yourself and if someone doesn't like you for you then it's not someone you want to be with anyways. There are too many men on the planet for 2 people to be fighting over. Just think, she just may be doing you a favor.

Answer 3

Your "friend" certainly isn't acting like one. Friends look out for one another and support each other, which is not what she's doing for you. She's mocking you, with something important! This is a red flag to evaluate how great of a friend she is.

To answer your questions:

1. You don't have to compete with your friend. You don't have to feel like you need to be better than her at anything. The only thing involved here is you confronting your crush. He will ultimately decide if he wants to date you - no matter what your friend is doing. If you want to outshine her, just talk to this guy and be the good person you know you are. You'll be nervous, but don't worry! Everybody is nervous and you'll feel better afterwards. You could ask him to hang out or catch a movie, and see what he says.

2. If you don't tell her how you feel, she won't stop. You don't need to be rude or offensive about it, simply state, "Hey, I know you're having a good time with my crush, but it kinda bothers me that you tell me how great it is when you're with him." If she is offended by that, then again, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with.

And has it occurred to your friend that she could help you guys break the ice with one another? Maybe you could ask her to help you out? See what she says to that, and take it from there. But you'll find the most important thing is just saying what you feel and being honest with people - without being rude or obnoxious about it!

Answer 4

Well she probably isn't going to end her friendship with this fella just because you have an interest in him. But she may kind of let him know, accidentally of course, that you kind of fancy him. Do not be jealous of your friend and her relationship or you may end up losing a friend, which we can never have to many of. If possible tell her how you are truly feeling and 1. hopefully she can put your mind to ease and let you know for certain that she is not hitting on this guy and that they are just friends, 2. may let him know that you are interested in him and that perhaps he should pursue you if he's also interested in you. Good luck and try and get over your shyness a little if possible so you can converse more with this fella.

Answer 5

Im also shy and I had the same problem with a guy like that too. All you really need to do is introduce yourself, if he is kind he will reply. If you want to be like your friend, watch how she acts around him. Maybe he will resopnd to you the same way if you try doing what she does. With your friend i would just ask her to be completely honest about whether or not she really likes this guy. You have to make her feel like her feelings matter to you. i wouldnt drop her, just let her know that this isn't a compitition and you want to be able to confide in her. If she does like this guy thats a whole different story. Try being your self but more social around him, he may end up likeing you more than he might like her.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are jealous of the time that she has with him.

Being shy is tough, but if you like the guy, you need to get over it and talk to him. Find something that you have in common (blabbermouth has shared enough stuff with you - there has got to be SOMETHING) and GO for it!

Don't compete, or try to outshine her. Be yourself and don't let your shyness hold you back. If he is worth it, then he will talk back to you and you'll be able to start your own relationship with him. Hopefully you'll be able to take up more of his time and get her to stop talking about him all the time when you have your own stories to share.

Answer 7

Well, i had the same problem last year. i am really shy also but my friend kenzie is really outgoing. I liked this guy and we both spent a lot of time together. I told my friend i liked him. the next day she was all over him. i invited her over to my house the next day to talk about it. turns out she was worried i wouldn't spend any time with her anymore if i went out with him. I told her i would never do that to her and we would always be friends no matter what. so maby your friend is worried too or she could trying to be telling you that is you came out of your shell and try ed to be a little more outgoing, you could have that much fun too. Talk to her about it tell her how you feel she might have something to tell you too. if she is the good friend like you say, she will respect how you feel and help you get this guy!
Good luck, it will all work out...

Answer 8

Hi,
It is really a complicated issue.
But for everything there is a solution.
While you are in conversation tell her that your friend ( name an imaginary name ) is curious to know this guy and you feel that that girl is in love with him, you can see her face signs, and if she loves him as a lover or just as a friend, and then natuarlly, ask her "Hey, are you bothered if that girl will be his gf?
You will notice her reaction and u can then act accordingly.
If she didnt care,
Take his email and talk to him first as friends, and then while you are chatting, write down, I want to tell you something, I love you very much and ur my type.
You will wait to see what will he write, if he was positive, keep talking, coz writing is much easier than speaking, no face expressions.
If he was astonished and negative, just tell him that you wrote this sentence by mistake and that you were writing it to your other friend chatting with.
Nice idea, isnt it.hahahaha.
I made it and it was cool.

Answer 9

i'm not to sure what to say that will be helpful.. but my friend and i use to be in the same situation.. she use to get crushes on boys.. and a lot of the time i'd try and talk to them for her.. and then quite afew times i ended up being friends with them more than she was.. it wasn't done on purpose.. and i didn't really think about how it made her feel at the time..

i think your best move is to try and be more confident.. try and work your way in there too.. the more you talk and interact with this boy the more comfortable you'll be around him..

i think thats the key

Answer 10

1. get a make over you will feel better and maybe not as shy and you will be noticed more.

2. Talk to her she is you best friend right you should be able to tell her your feelings on this subject, and if she gets upset I say you are better off knowing what kind of friend she is now than later in life.

I hope this helps, but in the end remember boyfriends come and go,but true friends are forever.