My girlfriend is 17 and I am 25. We dated for about 2 months when she told me her dad was abusing her. Verbally threatening her sexually abusing her and her dad has a history of violence. I took her to the Police thinking I was doing the right thing. That's when everything went haywire. We didn't tell the cops that we were dating because we didn't want them to not believe her. But somehow they found out, and they put her in a foster home. She got scared because she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone she knew so she told them she lied. Now she's back with her parents and I know that her dad still threatens her and calls her names. She's afraid to call the police, and her dad won't let us see each other. I know she's too young for me, but I can't stand the thought of anyone I Love being abused and I can't do anything about it. What should I do??????
2006-12-01 08:30:50 · 25 answers · asked by Gary M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
get a baseball bat and chat with him:)
2006-12-01 08:34:39 · answer #1 · answered by madema 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
First off you are too old to be with a girl of that age so you need to break off any romantic connection you have with this girl. As far as the abuse goes I guess the only option is to go to the authorities once again and tell the whole story. Hopefully they will force her dad to go into some kind of counciling or somthing. Other than that shes got two choices and thats live in the foster home or stay home and be abused. Aparently she thinks it's better at home or she wouldn't have lied just to get back there. If I were you I would leave this girl alone and let her deal with her own drama. Shes the one that put herself in this position.
2006-12-01 08:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, you've already acknowledged you're too old for her, so that's good.
With that in mind, all you can do for her is be a good friend. Ultimately if she wants to make changes in her life, she has to do them. You can't put her somewhere else. You can't change her father. You can't protect her 24/7. While it hurts that you cannot do these things, it is the reality of the situation.
Again, what you can do is show her that there are people out there who are supportive, caring, and do worry about her. You should, in whatever way you can, inform her that you are there for her and will do what you can to help - but that she is ultimately responsible for what happens with her family situation.
I wish I had better news for you, but your control over this situation is highly limited. Don't beat yourself up for it, and certainly don't think you did the wrong thing by involving the police. Sounds like you've been a good friend for her, but there's only so much you can do.
2006-12-01 08:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by KB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but you shouldn't be dating someone so young. You are also doing her damage because she needs to be a teenager and not worry about dating someone who is supposed to be a grown-up.
She would be better off in foster care than with her dad. Does she have other relatives to live with? She's almost old enough to be on her own anyway. Have you ever witnessed any abuse? Are you sure it is actually occurring? If she told the police she was lying about it, maybe she isn't being honest with you either.
2006-12-01 08:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you really Love and wish to start a life with her!
Be patient wait till she's 18yrs old. Then she is considered grown. Some times we have to wait for the finer things in life and in this case ask your-self is she worth waiting for? Be honest.
Being 17 and waiting for 18 gives you time to set-up a place for you 2 to be together.
With the time apart you can see if she fits into your future or you fit into hers. To rush this matter will bring you trouble.Remember she's a minor. Does jail sound good to you?
Be patient and prepare for her 18th Birthday. Then shot for the moon.
As for the abuse, she has time to make a case. The police will listen when she is older. God Bless you two
2006-12-01 08:48:17 · answer #5 · answered by ocie w 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She by some ability should be sure what her dad is doing is erroneous. Abuse in any kind will be mentally disabling. i recognize this for a actuality. i change into abused through a boyfriend and not in any respect instructed anybody. It makes you experience ineffective interior. purely save attempting to inspire her and pray. God does answer prayers. i will pray for both one among you and sturdy success with each and every thing. Gods %!
2016-10-08 01:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dated a 23 year old when i was 17, and he picked me because i had low self esteem, and he used and abused me. I have to wonder--are u the same way? Did u pick her for the same reasons? Because u knew she was easy to take advantage of? Is your ultimate goal to get her out of that situation so u can 'have her all to yourself'??? How the hell does a 25 year old hook up wih a 17 year old?? I'm 25 and i'd feel sick to my stomach if i dated a 17 year old.
2006-12-01 09:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by yupyup 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow... at 17 she can leave home in most states. Does her mom know about this? What a shame things like this happen.. I would tell her previous case worker from the foster care that she lied to get to go back home. Are you SURE that she is telling the truth?
2006-12-01 08:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by kdbnsc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to her and convince her that she has to do something, a foster home sounds better, but if she doesnt do anything then i guess just wait til she graduates then move in together, its only a yr away. And if you love her then you have to see her so sneak around, and her dad can go to hell!!
2006-12-01 09:40:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have her get some proof. Unfortunately she was too young for you and therefore they did not take her accusations seriously. Maybe she can set up some video or something and then bring that to the authorities. Either way, you cannot get involved as you would only hurt her.
2006-12-01 08:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she was a year younger than I would be upset, but 17 is close enough to 18 and as long as you wait for sex until she is then I say talk to your parnets and see if they would help her and I like the baseball bat answer too. Her father deserves to be put in jail and be raped by other inmates for the rest of his life.
2006-12-01 08:47:36 · answer #11 · answered by eeyoree rocks2003 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋