Why is doing the very best you are capable of in life so often inadequate?

Question

In your answer don't resort to some sort of Darwinian argument about how I must be stupid or my best would be good enough.

Answer 1

From your question, I don't get the impression that you are in any way stupid. But it does seem to indicate you are very discouraged. So could your question really be "why do I feel so inadequate when I gave it my very best". If you had a friend who tried her very best but did not succeed, would you say to her "you are inadequate"? Life is a mix of successes and failures.....try to be kind to yourself in the meantime and don't lose focus because of setbacks.

Answer 2

In alot of circumstances, you do not know what the very best that you are capable of is until you are pushed into a situation that you would have otherwise thought you could not handle. I know that I have thought I was doing my best until something else forced me to do more, then I adapted to that situation. I have had a few such situations. The first couple of times that I thought I was doing my best, I learned that I could do better strictly because I had no choice at the time. I don't know your situation, but the same may still happen. It's not that your best isn't good enough, it's that you may be able to do better than you think you can. The best that you are capable of in life comes from surviving and overcoming adverse, difficult situations-- and not giving up, but learning new things about yourself that you didn't know were there.

Answer 3

Well, this is obviously going to be a relatively difficult question to give a good answer. Life is life. What is one person's best is someone else's worst. In a way, it is sort of a competition of sorts. "Survival of the fittest" if you will. Think of it somewhat like a job. In the workplace, there are a certain number of positions to be held. You and a variety of other people are competing for those positions. However, what your best might be, someone else can go better....who as a result is going to get the position? The person who can do it THE best. Therefore, for the person who was outperformed or outdone, they feel that what they were able to do wasn't adequate.

The same rules apply to life, if you want something, you have to be the best in order to achieve it or the ONLY person who can do it. Otherwise, be happy that you got as far as you did and it always gives you fuel to try harder. Try not to get too discouraged about ANY given situation, because there will always be setbacks. Just roll with the punches and keep on going. You will get where you need to go.

I hope this helps,

Chris

Answer 4

Sometimes no matter how hard we try, some things just don't turn out the way we intended. Maybe it's because life is like holding a hand of cards and each of us has to play the hand we are dealt. These cards can be things like: Our aptitudes, abilities, being at the right place at the right time with the right thing, missing a greater reward because of unselfishly keeping our promises or commitments and for some people it's being afraid to take a calculated chance.

If we can keep our goals and self-expectations within reason and just do our best each day, we will learn and prosper until we finally find the best ways to play the cards we are dealt.

Answer 5

You are only inadequate if you think you are. If you truly do your best and feel good about it, then that is what counts (whether you are climbing Mt. Everest or flipping burgers at McDonalds).

Often in life, other people attempt to make us feel inadequate even when we have done our best. We also live in a society that feels obligated to compare and judge, but we cannot allow this to be the basis for our own happiness.

Be grateful, always do and be your best, and to heck with everyone else.

Check out adequacy at the link below...

Answer 6

So what are you really running from here?

Sounds like the term 'inadequate ' that you use here is not necessarily about how you perform in life. The performance worry is a cover for something else. Work that out, and you may feel you do OK in life.

Answer 7

Because life isn't fair, and isn't supposed to be equitable. Sometimes our 'best' isn't good enough for a particular situation. Not every person is the equal to all other people in ever area of life. Haven't you noticed this? Everyone is different. Anyone who told you life is equitable for everyone was trying to sell you something.

Answer 8

Well this is the only answer i have to give you if your best does not satisfy others (unless it is your God your parents your mate or your boss)don't waste your time worrying about it. If you best does not satisfy you then either try your best to do better or resign your self to accept the way that you are now.

Answer 9

everybody hits the wall at some point. it's usually a situational thing. in some environments you'll excel giving your best, in others you just get by. the best example is pro athletes - on certain teams, a player will excel. on others, he struggles. usually it isn't a lack of effort.

find those environments in which you excel and hone your strengths

Answer 10

its a self fulfilling prophecy. if the best you can do is not good enough then you have 1 of 2 problems. either the person who told you this is actually incompetent in their own way and must displace his or her guilt onto you. or you are just being to hard on yourself.