He is no longer living with his wife (2 years now), but they do still communicate. He says there is no interest in getting back together with his wife, but at the same time they both have done nothing to initiate he divorce. When asked why the divorce has not been started, the response is that it is a long and costly ordeal. Another reason this is a worry is because she is the one who was the cause for the split and he was heartbroken, and still is. Am I setting myself up for a bad situation....meaning he gets back together with his wife, or is it understandable that the divorce hasn't been initiated? We have been dating for several months. Should I bug him about getting the divorce or is it not my business to bring up?
2006-12-01 07:29:23 · 20 answers · asked by Claire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
very strange, divorce or no affair with you. period.
:> peace
.
2006-12-04 16:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Getting divorced these days is Extremely expensive if children or alimony are involved, and if you need attorneys. However, if not, they can cost as little as a few hundred dollars, and if the 2 people are happier apart, then it is so worth it.
I was separated for over 2 yrs, before divorcing, for the same reason, the Money, but, when I met the man I love and want to marry him, divorce was a forced issue, so, called my ex husband, and he paid for it, we filed it all ourselves, not difficult.
However, you say he is still Heartbroken, meaning he has not moved on, so, he is not ready for another committed relationship. If you are content with that, fine, if not, move on, hon.
2006-12-01 15:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by onesmaartlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bugging him about a divorce wont help out your situation. If no one has tried to obtain a divorce in 2 years then there must be some feeling still there. And if he is as you still say, heartbroken over this, then you probably need to move along, because if his wife calls he will go running home to her.
2006-12-01 15:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That first relationship after a break-up is the re-bound. That person isn't too confident, and the new relationship is a way for that person to become whole. He needs support with his broken heart and its good that you're there, but understand that this relationship will not turn into marriage. He wants to be loved, and the woman that he loved doesn't want him anymore and because of this, that is why the divorce hasn't been started. He's not ready to end the marriage, and you're someone that cares for him.
2006-12-01 15:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by haw1180 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got a divorce as soon as I could because I wanted closure. My ex's girlfriend has been separated for 3 yrs. I know there is no chance that she and her husband will get back together, but she doesn't want to spend the money and apparently doesn't need closure. People are different. Even if he gets a divorce, it doesn't mean that he ever wants to get married again.
2006-12-01 15:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it is just an act of laziness to do the paper work, my parents have been seperated for about 8 yrs and both have a relationship with someone else but has not got a divorce but have no means of getting back together they don;t even talk, but my dad is willing to get back with my mom at anytime because she was the one that ended it,(he was also broken hearted). so if i were you i would tell him its over until he gets the divorce because you might be setting yourself up.
2006-12-01 16:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's strange but only because they have been separated for so long. However, if you ever plan on having a future w/ him then he really needs to look at getting a divorce. If he isn't willing then you need to move on to someone else. Otherwise, you could end up spending the rest of your life w/ someone who will always be married to someone else.
2006-12-01 16:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by mvngs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was still married for 10 years and dated for 10...did not get divorced because it costs too much....and still kinda loved the asswhipe...but never got back together with him...left him too....some people are never meant to be together...she left him right?? i don;t think you have to worry...she didn;t want him....and she probably never will....so don;t worry.....give him time to heal....don't push it....its only been 3 months...if he loves you...he will get that divorce..if he don;t get it in a year.....then move on sweetheart
2006-12-01 15:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not necessarily a long and costly ordeal..
Bug him about the divorce...
You could be wasting your time...
2006-12-01 15:33:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously still "married" and you're only setting yourself up for drama than you care to deal with. It's either he gets divorced and be with you or you leave him alone until he can get the nerve to file for it.
2006-12-01 15:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy for 2 mos. who was still married but was going through the D process, but get this he broke up w/ me as their divorce was final, BUT then started dating her again, I was piXXed off
because he told me theres no way he was going after her again
2006-12-01 15:41:31 · answer #11 · answered by hakienitz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋