We have recently moved in together and are hopefully getting engaged and these pictures bother me, especially when I find them around the house in his things. When I bring it up he doesn't get rid of them but they end up somewhere else. There are some pictures of her body parts, some of them kissing and holding eachother and some of her with his kids. Mind you she is NOT the kids' mother, the kids are from his X wife. These pictures bother me what should I do?
2006-12-01 07:22:10 · 28 answers · asked by smartie_pantalones 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Aww. how sweet! He keeps little memories of his former lover all over the house while shacking up with his new lover. Isn't he a dream! I bet his kids are proud.
What do you want to do? He's not married to you, he hasn't asked you to marry him, and he doesn't care if the pictures bother you because you've told him and he ignores you. You should move out and move on.
2006-12-01 07:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow! I would be upset about that as well. I don't think that's a good sign. If i were you, after communicating to him how his pictures are offending me,if he doesn't get rid of them or least hide them somewhere you won't look, i would change the locks and tell him that he needs to get over his thing with his past and until then you don't need to live together. His attention should be on you not his ex-girlfriend.
2006-12-01 15:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by TONYA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are perfectly justified to be bothered! What if YOU put up sexy pictures or hand-holding pics of YOUR ex? Your fiance would have a FIT! Men usually have incredible double standards about this. Try talking to him SERIOUSLY and say how much it upsets you. Then say "either the pictures go, or I do!".
If you want an interim step, try putting pics of your ex...or any guy...up, just the same as he does. When he wigs out, tell him, "See? Feels lousy, doesn't it?" If he still doesn't get it, I'd ditch him, 'cause he's making you feel bad and doesn't care! What kind of a person does that?
2006-12-01 15:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, man perspective on this one.
You are not going to be able to win this one. Sorry to say. You are essentially asking him to throw away porn magazines. Not happening. I still have all the pictures I ever had of ALL my exes. I don't have them laying around, but they are in a box in the closet with other old pictures. Hell, it's part of my past and I have a right to those memories. So does he. You can't judge a person on their past relationships(unless they are really that bad), but there is a reason they aren't together now.
Trust me, even if he has zero feelings for her now, she is and will forever be part of his "spank bank". Nothing you can do there. Just make sure he keeps them out of sight.
2006-12-01 15:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. First of all you guys need a little talk. Because this sounds like that this guy is not over this past g/f.. I think if he really loved you he would LET GO of the past and make room for the future (aka you lol). Once you fall in love (the real, authentic love) all your past is just not important anymore, if he broke up with her why would he be keeping pics? Obviously he wants to remember her or something which isn't good in another relationship. Thats why ppl shoudln't jump into other things quickly after breaking up.. because ppl need time to heal.
2006-12-01 15:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have decided you are made for each other, I think you should tell him that what is over was yesterday and best forgotten and what is happening is today is what you both wanted out of life. If he wants to show the snaps around - he basically wants to show his" conquests" and is actually trying to tell you - "Look, I could have had any of these girls but I chose you over them". This is to give himself a superiority complex oer you. Dont be cowed down and take the snaps and burn them. Tell him if he does not part with them you should not be together in the first place. I am sorry for being so blunt as I understand things being a guy.
2006-12-01 15:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by livingonthinice 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES. Sounds like your man is a wannabe player. You say you are HOPEFULLY getting engaged, and he's already had kids, and ex wives and all that ****. He's got you wrapped around his finger. Be like," LOOK, i know its a material item that i'm getting mad at, but its time to move on. get some closure in, throw the pictures away, and take some new ones with me."
2006-12-01 15:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how much it bothers you. Ask him why he feels the need to keep them. If he doesnt want to get rid of things from his past, ask him to compromise...to get rid of the provocative ones, kissing ones, etc. Unless he has feelings for this girl he really should be willing to get rid of them, or put them in a box and keep them at his parents house or something.
2006-12-01 15:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by Farah G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should he discard reminders of his own life? Who do you think you are anyway, the thought police? You don't own him, you've decided to have a relationship with him, and that includes everything that makes him who he is, and all his past history. If you don't want a relationship with someone who has a past then find someone new. I'd say a person who just tosses out his old photos when he meets someone new is someone with little thought or emotion. Same for someone who is so jealous she expects him to.
2006-12-01 15:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him that these pictures being so accessible are bothering you? Are you insecure in whom he loves? Did he break up with her, or vice verse? He is with you, he must have chosen to be with you.
Confidence is very attractive,and men love to look at attractive women, but, they don't necessarily want to be with that person that way. Tell him you don't want to find these pictures around any more, and maybe leave some of yourself where he can find them. wink.
2006-12-01 15:27:40 · answer #10 · answered by onesmaartlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋