I am a black female, but I have a "different" look. A lot of people think I'm from India, Ethiopia or am Native American or something.
Here's the thing. Many times I've gotten this comment , "Wow! You're pretty 'cause you don't look black!" after they find out I'm neither (at least to my knowledge...who knows what I really have way down the line in my blood).
Is that REALLY a compliment?
2006-12-01 06:56:57 · 23 answers · asked by * 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Being told that you're pretty is always a compliment. However, when they say "Because you don't look black", it takes away from the compliment because they are insinuating that black women are not pretty. It is a slur against black women and that is WRONG.
It is a compliment and a slight at the same time. The problem is that they are either ignorant of their actions or they are bold enough not to care.
I am curious as to how you respond to them. If I were you I would say something like, "Black woman are obviously pretty if I am". Or, If a black person said this to me, I would ask them if they think they are attractive. I might also ask the person saying this if they have a problem with black people.
I am sorry that this happens to you. I can't believe that people actually say those types of things.
Anyhow, rest assured, if they tell you that you're pretty, you are.
2006-12-01 07:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No.
Being told you are pretty is a compliment. And I'm sure you are.
Being told you are pretty BECAUSE you don't look black is an insult to you and your entire race and anyone with any moral standards, no matter what color they are. It is racist and it is wrong.
It like saying black people aren't pretty.
Everyone has there own preferences. Doesn't mean that you put down an entire race because of it.
I always liked guys with a good tan; whether it was from the sun or birth. I dated a guy who was 1/2 Puerto Rican and 1/2 white. He was bronze and beautiful! I took a black guy to my senior prom (No one had every done that before...tabu to mix races where I live-stupid people.) and he was fairly dark skinned. I've dated white guys who tanned well and some that didn't. I found that I really wasn't as attracted to really white guys (kind of pasty you know?) or to really dark guys. Don't know why. I don't really like bald guys either. I like a man with meat on his bones. Not weight lifter, vein poppers, but nice and toned. I like that dark, mysterious exotic kind of look the best.
Funny thing is, I married a guy that's pretty darn white, blonde hair who's a whopping 160 lbs at 6'1'' and who'll probably be bald by the time he's 40!
Go figure!
Next time someone makes a stupid comment like that to you, tell them you'd like to thank them for their compliment had it actually been one. Tell them since it was racist and rude, they can keep it. And walk away.
2006-12-01 15:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by soccermomw3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a compliment in the way of saying you are pretty, but then there are many people who look black and are very pretty. I would probably respond with thank you, but does that mean you find people who look black not to be pretty? Watch them stumble with words and hopefully next time they speak they will be more tactful.
2006-12-01 15:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Issym 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't really sound like a compliment to me. I'm a pasty white redhead...if someone told me "Wow youre pretty because you don't look Irish" I wouldn't think that was a very nice thing to say, lol.
Obviously people think you're beautiful and they probably mean well - but people are also stupid and dont' think before they speak.
2006-12-01 15:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by razor_sharp_redhead 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's usually meant to be a compliment, though the "cause you don't look black" is kind of a stupid thing to day.
It's Impossible for me to say without knowing the people you're referring too, but I'd bet most people mean to say "You're pretty. You don't look black." In other words, I bet they're mashing 2 seperate, innocent thoughts into 1 ignorant sounding one.
2006-12-01 15:00:30 · answer #5 · answered by alighier 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At first glance my gut reaction is to brand that as a racist thing to say. However, it may be that the person is just lousy with words and truly trying to pay you a compliment. I guess I'd give most people the benefit of the doubt.
2006-12-01 16:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the comment is an exact quote, it is not a compliment. It implies that you couldn't be pretty if you were black. You confused me by saying..."after they find out I'm neither". You said you were black. Haven't you heard?...Black is beautiful. Take care.
2006-12-01 15:09:55 · answer #7 · answered by Sati 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoa, I'm caucasion, but if someone said to me "you are pretty because you don't look white", even if it was meant as one, I don't think I would take that as a compliment. What does that mean really? Are they saying that black people aren't attractive?
Can't we all just get along?
2006-12-01 15:19:06 · answer #8 · answered by New 4 Lulu 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree i think its a backhanded compliment BUT dont take it that way from every1 sum people may be really givin a compliment.
2006-12-01 15:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by Nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont see it as a complement its like they sayin black people are ugly n u fortunate enought not to look black i would find dat very insultin although they probably dont mean it in a bad way its just a lack of communication skill.
2006-12-01 15:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋