I was told in my pre-natal classes that you cant spoil a baby in the first year of there life....i think may be un-true because if my daughter is not talked to.....being held or looking at her she screams like someone is hurting her...I cant do anything with out her in my arms is there anythng i can do to occupy her while i get some things done......p.s she wont play with toys,hates jolly jumper swing bouncy chair.....can someone please give me some advide i am totally out of ideas!!
2006-12-01 06:26:37 · 10 answers · asked by ProudNewMommy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It's true, you can't spoil a baby. The more you reassure them that you will respond to them, later on, they won't need that from you. My oldest son was very similar to your baby, and we never let him cry it out. We held him, carried him, put him in slings, and just in general made him a part of our everyday life. Everything else waited till my husband was home, or I put him in a sling. Now, he's a totally different person. He's independant, considerate and empathetic to other children. He's the first to try and console another crying child. So yes, the first year is rough, but in the end, it's worth it to have a child who is secure in your love and response. A child that knows you are listening and observing them has no need to test that later. :)
Some suggestions: Invest in a sling. I didn't want to be one of those crunchy granola hippie moms, but our sling was a lifesaver. Seriously. It was the only way I got anything done. You can try Baby Einstein tapes, or Signing Times if you're interested in baby sign language, to occupy her. When you're cooking, you can place her in a high chair with a couple of safe cooking items (spoons, plastic bowls, if she's eating solid foods, maybe some finger foods) and talk to her while you're cooking. Do the same when you fold laundry. Another benefit, is the extra exposure to words may help her learn to talk earlier.
Good luck, and enjoy it. Believe it or not, once it passes, you'll miss this, and it will seem like the tiniest blip of time.
2006-12-02 17:17:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a sling, carry for her for a little while each day. When she is not crying or upset, put her on the floor in you lap and interact with her with some of her toys. When she acts interested, move her beside you. Keep doing this until you can walk away. It may take a few days but she will learn that she can do things confidently by herself.
When you want to cook, show her what you are doing and talk to her. Give her measuring cups to play with or plastic bowls.
If you can, take her outside for a little each day. The fresh air will do you both good. Take her for a walk and put her in her stroller (if she will let you) or take her for a ride over to a friends house. The interaction with others may help too.
If all else fails, ask for help while you take a much needed break. Have a friend or family member watch her while you do something for yourself.
If she was not clingy before, she may also be sick. My son is super clingy if he gets a cold.
I hope this helps and good luck to you!!!
2006-12-01 22:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by jns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant spoil a baby, thats true. Shes not spoiled, she just likes the comfort and security. Her cried arent a way to "train" you to do what she wants, they are her only way of communicating what she needs and desires. You arms are warm, and secure to her, she doesnt realize anything other than that.
As far as what to do, you need to help her learn comfort in other forms. Such as using the bouncy seats and things, and when she cries, soothing her with your voice, or touch without picking her up. It will be a few days with lots of crying, but she will learn that you are still there, for comfort, and that it is okay to be on her own a little.
2006-12-01 14:34:28 · answer #3 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My doctor told me its ok to let your baby cry a little if you need to do somethings like eat, go to the bathroom, wash a few dishes. She did say that you cant spoil them at all in the beginning, Im not sure about the whole first year though. I thought just the first few months. I heard if you let them cry too long or too often they will feel abondoned.
2006-12-01 14:31:19 · answer #4 · answered by chelsfl83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats true a child can't be spoiled in the first year. She is just loved and she just wants the attention it's nothing wrong with that give it to her and maybe she will let you do what you have to do.
2006-12-01 14:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by free25in05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I have to clean I put mine in her walker and put on a movie so she has 2 things to keep her occupied.
2006-12-01 14:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it will be hard, but you may just have to let her cry sometimes. Put her where she can see you and you can talk to her to reassure her you are there and paying attention, but don't respond to all of her cries right away. She will learn.
2006-12-01 14:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by lovemykids 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about a mobile? Does she take a pacifier? If she is fed and clean and dry let her cry a bit, it won't hurt her, see if talking to her from a distance as you work on other things will help her.
2006-12-01 14:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Maria b 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
LOL. Quit reinforcing her needs. If she is fed, rested, well and dry, put her down and leave her be until she becomes tired, sick, wet or hungry.
2006-12-01 14:33:09 · answer #9 · answered by ceprn 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my son was the same way. I just use to let him throw his fits and cry and eventually he stopped. good luck.
2006-12-01 14:29:52 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋