Do you think you can help me?

Question

My bf called me cold and jealous. I really don't mean to be that way. My mom died when I was a kid, had no type of relationship with my dad, and was sent to live in many different homes. These reasons and many more made me somewhat, I guess what people would call dysfunctional. I've had a hard life which in return made me hard. Now, I'm not looking for any type of sympathy I just need help. I hurt on the inside really bad (emotionally). I was told I should see a psychiatrist but its alot of money and time I don't have. I just feel, if I am a good person people will take my kindness for weakness and hurt me. Does anyone know good advice or a website that can help me and lead to self healing?

Answer 1

my own mom died when i was a kid and i need help too and i'm getting it by my doctor so talk to me my name is hope also

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Answer 2

You must seriously think of the type of person you want to be. Not based on any other person but what you need to do to improve how you perceive yourself and outlook on life. Reflect on what makes you happy and try to build on that to not only maintain that happiness but also treat others the same. Take criticism as a means to build on not tear down and try to associate with positive people who notice and point out your strong and positve qualites. Also, those who may notice your weak points but stick around to help you grow. Not sure what line of work you are in but some companies offer therapy as an affordable if not free medical benefit.

Sorry about your past.

Answer 3

I think you are craving love because you didn't seem to have much growing up. I think you should read in the Bible the "Love Chapter" which is I Corinthians 13. It tells you what love is and isn't such as love being patient and kind and doesn't seek its own way at the expense of others. To experience this even better than just reading about it, I suggest that you find a Bible believing and practicing church. Fellowship with the people there, which also does mean opening yourself up to them and being vulnerable. Most churches would welcome you with open arms and help you to grow in every way -- spiritual, emotional, etc. You can also heal your hurting inside by trusting Jesus and allowing Him to work inside you to take out the hurt and put Himself in. He is the best healer of broken and hard hearts that there has ever been since His was broken when He died and rose again for us. Try Him and see.

Answer 4

You should rent the Anne of Green Gables movies, its a nice story about an orphan, her parents have both passed away and she is finally brought to this older couple (brother and sister) and she lives with them for many years and it goes on and on. But in some way it might make you feel not so bad about your situation. :) (One of my favorite movie series)
if not, another idea might be to read up on Buddhism and in your own way incorporate it into your life. I am learning so much from it and i believe gaining wisdom and compassion for other is more important than all the bad influences in life right now. I think that's what you need, to just think about the positive and leave the past in the past and move on with more of a positive thought towards people in your life and life in general. :)
Hope this helps
A good book to start with is "Entering The Stream: An Introduction to the Buddha and His Teachings"

Answer 5

Having gone through some bad situations and now one recently in an armed robbery, I've read the Dr. Phil book, Life Strategies. It really helps me focus on change as long as I keep reading it, not once but many times.If I stop reading and doing the home work, I start to get depressed and lack reason and purpose in life. Hope it helps you too and good luck. You deserve a happy and good life.

Answer 6

you don't need a cold heart to protect yourself. all a cold heart does is weaken you! real strength is only possible when you are completely honest with yourself and true to yourself. i know from experience that a person who had a hard childhood is very afraid of weak people. it was the weak ones who hurt you! but right now, it seems you are hurting your boyfriend with your weakness, that scares you and in return your heart grows even harder, even weaker. stop this cycle now. be couragous, let emotions in. i can guarantee you, you'll get hurt sometimes. but sometimes you gain more than you ever thought possible! and the best part, you get to be the best person you can be. and the way you have been tested and you are still standing: that's going to be one hell of a person! you learned one good lesson early on, the best person to help yourself is yourself, now use it. you know you can do it. my heart goes out to you and i hope you'll find your way soon.

Answer 7

I think that you should tell your bf about this
if you haven't told him already. Maybe he'll
understand how you feel. You can also take
counseling. You need someone understanding.
I understand how you feel because a character
named Katherine Brooke led a similar life like
yours until the main character, Anne Shirley,
changed her near the end of the movie.
The movie is called Anne of Avonlea a.k.a
Anne of Green Gables the Sequel. Good
luck!

Answer 8

I've gone through something similar, i am a manic depressive. it's a little different from what u r explaining, but trust is hard thing for anyone to give. start very small. do something nice for someone, hold a door for someone, etc. move up to bigger things, and u should eventually learn to not worry about what others do or say. it's hard, im not gonna lie, but if you REALLY work at it, the older you get the easier it will get.

Answer 9

every one is dysfunctional in some way or another, some buy stuff, some cant make a descsion,, I suggest taking college courses,, and some of them being public speaking course,

all else fails sounds like a good Dr. Phil show

Answer 10

You could try the MoodGym. It's online cognitive-behavioral therapy. Or ELIZA. It's online humanistic therapy. Try to find an online support group so you can open up without feeling as vulnerable as you would in person.

Answer 11

The most important thing I can tell you is that God loves you! God cares about you. God understands what you are going through, and He does not want you to go through it alone. The Bible says, "Cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you" (1st Peter 5:7).
No, you can't change the past—but listen: With God's help, you can change the future. And God wants your future to be different because He loves you and wants what's best for you. In fact, He loves you so much that He sacrificed His own Son so you could be forgiven. He also wants to put you on a new path—the path of following Christ. He doesn't want you to spend the rest of your life mired in hopelessness and regret.

This is why I urge you to take your past and put it at the foot of the cross. Give it to Jesus—all of it—and ask Him to cleanse and forgive you. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

Then ask God to begin changing you from within by His Spirit. God's promise is for you: "I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow" (Jeremiah 31:13). Open your life to Christ today.
Please e-mail me directly if I can be of further help. I am praying for you right now.