I am in a weird place where I don't want to be touched and when my husband does it disgust me. Why I don't know but when he acts selfish and stupid for instance "I asked him to wash my back while I was in the bath tub and he said no then started a arguement about why I can't wash my own back" I rarely ask him to do anything but he's selfish and then turns right around and asks me for some a s s. No there aren't many issues but I am just in this place where sex does not appeal to me.
2006-12-01 06:16:18 · 24 answers · asked by Michelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are nothing but men answering my question when it clearly states LADIES men you should listen and f u c k i n LEARN
2006-12-01 06:28:09 · update #1
Sounds like the beginning of the END! This discussion you're having with us will do more good if you're able to talk w/him about it. If he and you cannot discuss these matters...look for a lawyer and scram! It's almost over...sorry to be blunt..but communication on all levels is a necessity for a successful happy relationship.
2006-12-01 06:19:33 · answer #1 · answered by solomonfever 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless a woman has no self-respect or can totally dissociate her heart from her genitalia, she will not want to have sex with a man who belittles her, is selfish, and seems to view her as no more than a convenience. If your husband can not understand that, it is proof that he is an immature selfish idiot.
I would sit him down and explain to him one last time that you are like most women with a spine and will not have sex with someone who treats you badly. Ask him if he is willing to work on your overall relationship, because that is the only way you can see yourself wanting to have sex with him again – if he shows you that he loves you. If he’s not willing to work on the relationship, then the end is now.
And I can assure you that giving in and having sex will not make him treat you better – that is lie that men use to try and get sex from women. In fact, giving in when he knows you don’t really want it means that he will have no more respect for you than a prostitute. And you know that’s true because isn’t that how you feel now – that disgust you feel when he touches you is because you sense that he doesn’t truly love and respect you but is using your body as a receptacle for his lust?
2006-12-01 06:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by Karen L 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why are you upset about men answering? Other women are much like you in regards to sex...too many restrictions!
That is why men are answering this question, we are all faced with your delighted manner and the ever-loving, NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!
Do you really think that other women are going to admit that they hate sex and just comfort you soothing words? They are feeling the same issue that you are...after the first year of marriage, the wedding ring gets too heavy and wears them out for sex.
See an analyst if you want qualified sympathy.
2006-12-01 06:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to have sex with my bf for many reasons.
probably the largest issue is intimacy outside of sex, which includes foreplay and just spending time with me. if he is spending every day, for days on end with freinds instead of me, then I am not in the mood.
also, if he is constantly hounding me for sex I get annoyed and don't want any... I tell him it's a turn off and the more he trys to get it by such methods as *** and boob gropping, the least likey he is not going to get any. he still doesn't beleive me though :)
in general, if I am not happy with the relationship at that time then I don't want him touching me in a sexual way. I think that's pretty common.
2006-12-01 07:02:11 · answer #4 · answered by Crazy dog lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens to be best of us. I have been married almost for 10 years now and it happens once in a while. I have been told that I need to find ways to spice up my relationship. Maybe you guys should think about that too. Maybe go on a weekend get-a-way somewhere peaceful, have a date night, or make reservations at a nice hotel and spend the night there.
2006-12-01 06:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st thing's first.
Why are you feeling like you don't want to be touched? Why aren't you feeling sexual?
Do you not feel sexual at all or just when it comes to your husband?
If you find that you just aren't in the mood anymore, then it might be hormonal. You can go see the old Obi Wan Kenobi. They can check you out and hook you up.
If it's just about him...you need to figure out why.
Do you not love him anymore? Has he been acting in a way that makes you wonder if he loves you?
No one wants to make love with a man they don't think loves them. (Not in a marriage anyway.)
Has it gotten boring? Or is he not rocking your world anymore?
Maybe you need to spicy it up a bit. Take control and be like Burger King and have it your way.
What ever the cause, the effect is that he's getting irritable because he's frustrated. A denied man is a cranky man. He doesn't want to do for you if you don't want to do for him and vice versa.
You've got to either give it up or give up. Your decision.
2006-12-01 06:32:20 · answer #6 · answered by soccermomw3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL...its not SEX that doesn't appeal to you, its your husbands selfishness...for example, the whole back washing thing? If he had scrubbed your back, massaging you while he worked the soap in and than gently rinsed you off you would've been all kinds of ready for lovin'!
You need to sit him down and gently explain how you would like it if he were more giving and caring about you. Be prepared for an argument...he's going to be really hurt that you don't want to have sex with him. You're going to have to get through that and explain to him that for most women, their sex drive is directly linked to how they feel about their partner...if you're not happy with your husband than you're not going to want to share this amazing and most intimate of moments with him...you're also going to want to (subconsciously of course) punish him for not doing what you want by denying him what he wants.
You guys need to sit down and have a mature, rational discussion ASAP, because this is one of those things that can be resolved easily, or can lead to divorce. Good Luck!
2006-12-01 06:34:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him " If i can wash my own back, you can F*** your own ha** ". You say there arent many issues, but the fact that you brought up his selfishness shows that that is THE issue.
Who wants to have sex with a selfish butthead??? Maybe some open but polite conversation would help. blessings.
2006-12-01 06:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by cheese food product 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i am like that, but it is with my bf. he is so selfish too, every time i ask him for something he never gave it to me. he just want to have sex all the time. so i came up with that of not having sex until i get what i want. i can tell it's been 7 months since we had sex, and it's been 7 month since he said that he would buy a car for me. so there is nothing wrong with u. u just fed up with his attitude that u feel disgust by his actions. i feel the same way too.
2006-12-01 06:22:42 · answer #9 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You guys need to work on your intimacy. Not everything is quid pro quo, although, maybe you are not doing your part. There are other ways to satisfy someone without sex. I think you guys need to sit down and discuss this, you need to tell him very frankly what you want, and what you wish he would do and let him tell you what he wants. If this does not work, I would recommend talking with a counselor/sex therepist/pastor in your community.
2006-12-01 06:22:17 · answer #10 · answered by Rose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋