My husband and I are going on our 5 year anniv. He has seemed to take a lot of interest in girl that his friend is trying to date...she seems to always be where he is (gym, night clubs, etc). He says they are just friends and that his "boy" is in to her, not him. He acts different when she is around; like not talking to her (or me), but he talkes to her all the time at the gym...should I be worried??
2006-12-01 05:37:32 · 17 answers · asked by luvRoush99 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes. From what you just said, it sounds like he's got a crush on this girl. If he doesn't talk to either of you when she's around then he's feeling weird about having the two of you together because he's got a thing for her.
Now, realistically, people develop baby crushes all the time, even when they're married. We're humans and sometimes our minds get the best of us. Now, if you two have a meaningful relationship with a lot of communication, you need to have a one on one with him and ask him about it. You'll be able to see from his reaction if he's telling the truth. Most of the time, if someone is overly defensive or gets angry or overly dismissive when you confront them with something, they have something to hide. If, when you talk to him, he smiles, shakes his head and gives you a big hug or something, then you know there's nothing to worry about.
Before you talk to him, check out these sites I got from the internet. They tell you how to read body language of someone's who's trying to lie.
http://learnbodylanguage.org/lying_pictures.html
http://learnbodylanguage.org/body_language_lying.html
http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/columns/?article=lyingtell
2006-12-01 05:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by 11:11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little suspicious to me, I'm sorry to say. I'd ask the girl if you have the opportunity. Come right out and confront her. Say that her actions around your husband are suspicious and you would like to know if something is going on between them, even if it's just emotional cheating. That is sometimes just as bad, since the other person is getting a piece of your partners heart/soul. Good luck!
2006-12-01 13:55:13 · answer #2 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this sounds all too familiar. the same thing happened to me pretty much. i noticed my boyfriend had this friend n they were gettin pretty close talking all the time n hanging out with her n supposedly with a group of friends along but i didnt know wat think. i had my suspicions n i asked him about it all the time n he always said the same thing "were jus friends n i dont want her my boy does" a couple months later i got on his myspace account n yup there it was msgs back n forth saying stuff that was making me sick 2 my stomach n they were having sex n everything. i jus couldnt believe it n im pregnant 2. so i of course was tested 4 stds becuz i didnt want 2 harm my baby if he gave me sumthin. everyhting was fine with the stds i didint have anything but i wasnt ok. i broke up with him n took a long break away 4rm him. we r now back 2gether but somtimes i still think y did i give him another chance. well since ur married i really hope hes not cheating on u but u kno men these days. i would definetly b worried n u should do sum investigating. i know it seems wrong 2do but u have every rite 2kno wats going on and u shouldnt feel bad cuz he shouldnt have anything 2hide but i really hope that evrything goes ok with u good luck
2006-12-01 14:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by amarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not need to worry now but you will. He will start changing a little at a time.
Like not talking to you when she is around.
Giving her rides.
Letting her use his phone or computer, then saying its not a big deal.
Or saying I am just trying to help.
She will get to the point that she depends on him and he will enjoy every minute of it.
He will find every excuse in the book to be around her and not you, he will tell you what you want to hear but show you something different.
I would put a stop to it now before it is too late.
2006-12-01 14:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your first instinct on this situation?? A woman's first instinct is usually the right one. Take it from me, I know. And if you're first instinct is that he does seem to be interested in that other woman then it may be possible that he is. You also need to tell him how YOU feel. And how this is affecting you. You just need to sit down , have a good long talk with him. Get everything off your chest. You've been together for five years and every woman knows how to catch their husband lying. Good Luck.....
2006-12-01 14:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by MARJ213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is interested in her, and i would be worried because she could be interested in him too, if she is always where he is, than theres a reason and u need to confront your husband, as he is either in denial or he is denying his true feelings to u. tell your husband how upset this makes u, but if he is denying it, than there isn't too much u can do about it but go to the gym also, go with him and there will be less chance she can move in on him. let your presence be known. guard what u value.
2006-12-02 19:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he acts differently because he senses you are suspicious, and by not talking to either one of you as much would to him, make it less awkward.
You really don't want to speculate though...so the best thing to do is ask him yourself. More importantly, tell him how you feel.
Also...go to the gym with your husband sometimes, maybe he just needs some company while there!
Best of hopes to you!
2006-12-01 13:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by Chanel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not sure by that little info but if it makes you uncomfortable as his wife you have every right to sit down and express it, simply say look I just plain out dont like it or the possibilities and dont care who she's with plenty of people have spouses and cheat so dont give you that, just say out of respect and our happiness i'm asking you to end this and you mean it also state if the tables were turned and he didnt like it and asked this "favor" wouldnt he like you to be considerate and also say is she or the situation really important enough to cause trouble in your marriage and that you didnt just shoot off at the mouth you thought about it and want to be mature and understanding but in the end you just plain dont like it and shouldnt have to please just stop and when this in a way happened to me I had a talk w/the girl I told her look were in a relationship together and I would appreciate it if you didnt carry on w/him Hi whats up kind of stuff but not lengthy conversations and if she likes his friend then talk to his friend and it basically stopped we all got along and they said a few words in passing but it stoppped, Good Luck KIMBUR
2006-12-01 13:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I wouldn't say "worried" but i think you have some cause for concern here. just watch and watch closely. If he screws around...you'll know. Men suck at trying to hide stuff like that. especially from the wife.
2006-12-01 13:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carrots Carrots Carrots
2006-12-01 14:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by icy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋