I just got a girlfriend and she the quiet type and this is my first relationship, i dont know what exactly to do. can anyone help me get through this dilemma?
2006-12-01 05:32:58 · 15 answers · asked by sandladyb16 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Maintaining a good relationship is mostly remembering to listen -- ESPECIALLY if your partner is the quiet type. You'll get a lot of advice, from friends and magazine articles and TV relationship gurus and the like, that the most important thing in a relationship is communication. That's true -- but what the other person is saying is a critical part of communication. You can't take responsibility for having her communicate, but you CAN take responsibility for hearing, understanding, and accepting her communication.
So listen to her, care about her, have compassion for her when she's having stress or trouble, and remember that the Golden Rule is only half-right when it comes to intimate relationships. That is, it's not that you should do unto others as you would have others do unto you -- do unto others as THEY would have you do unto THEM.
Make sense? It's often hard for us to remember, but the people we're intimate with aren't exactly the same as us -- even when, in your case, you have the theoretical advantage of being with another member of the same sex. But personalities differ, and many times a relationship works best when the people have different personalities, different strengths and weaknesses, and different likes and dislikes.
To take an extreme (and imaginary) example, let's say that when you're stressed out, you like to go to nightclubs and dance to loud music. And let's say (since she's the quiet type) that your partner likes to de-stress by going for long drives in the country and finding a quiet spot away from people. Obviously, what's good for you isn't going to be good for her. So you need to demonstrate understanding by learning what she needs; you need to demonstrate compassion by offering this to her; but you also need to demonstrate balance by making sure that YOU get what you need to keep yourself happy, satisfied and fulfilled.
So... Get to know your partner -- what she likes, what stresses her out, what she finds fulfilling. You might also have a conversation with her about what the core of your relationship is about. What lights you up about each other? How do you see yourselves fitting into each other's lives, and what do you provide for each other? Because fundamentally, a relationship is about looking out for each other, about building something together that's more valuable to each of you than you could build by yourselves.
2006-12-01 05:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that a lesbian relationship is any different from a straight relationship or a gay relationship..but as a man I can only speak about 2 of the above. There are no rules..you create your own rules in your own world...you make it work for both of you...you care enough to ask questions (like the one you just did) Good Luck.
2006-12-01 06:37:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, just like all relationships the most important part is communication. Make sure she knows you love her and let her know you will listen to her. Let her know she can depend on you.
My second girlfriend was real quiet, but she turned out to be one of the most fun people I'd ever met.
Just let her know you'd like to hear more of what she thinks/wants. Be patient and she'll open up to you more eventually (in every way. lol).
2006-12-01 05:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by joannaserah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emotionally that's no longer a question of gender yet obviously: bodily it really is. i'm getting very irritable and moody over my era and that i commonly take it out on my boyfriend with out which ability to, IF he occurs to be in a foul mood we finally end up arguing so it really is a reliable interest he doesn't get sessions! although, i believe that if he did i'd surely be a lot less irritable in the route of him as i'd experience a lot less like he did not understand and so on and so on. My ex housemate and that i had a similar menstrual cycle from residing mutually so long and we were both very over tender on the instant and in various of circumstances ended up scary one yet another with out which ability to and then having a controversy. We continually shared our chocolate and weepy video clips although and it became reliable to have someone to moan to who became experiencing a similar element. So, like each and every thing, difficult with the sleek i wager and a minimum of they might both be feeling difficult mutually and really one of them does no longer be planning camping out journeys even as the different wantred to curve up on the settee! by ways, i'm a touch disturbed by a few comments that were made on right here that seem to insinuate that women do not bypass by emotional alterations besides as actual ones at the moment, no ask your self those those who do have those indicators get little or no help or acceptance for it if even different women brush aside us as 'taking section in for sympathy' and so on and so on.
2016-11-30 00:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gradually get to know the lass. Learn her likes and dislikes. Be a friend, (something we all need).
Support and LOVE them whatever happens.
Rose P.
2006-12-01 13:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by rose p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All relationships need the basics...
Communications
Honesty
Friendship
Eros
Once you have communication and honesty, you both express your needs and decide how to please both or decide to go your separate ways because your core values are tooooooo different.
Other than that I guess you may have bigotry and fear to deal with depending on where you live.
2006-12-01 05:35:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hate to disappoint you but there's not such a thing. It only leaves you longing for more and still lonely and empty and unfulfilled. You can only find real love and peace and joy through Jesus Christ. "The blood of Jesus cleanses from all sin."
2006-12-01 06:45:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just make sure the communication window is always open! lesbians are crazy! i know from experience! just make sure you're open with her about what you're feeling, and if she's unsure, let her know that she can talk to you about anything
2006-12-01 05:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by Curious Blair 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well as with any functional deviant relationship it takes 2 to tango.
Just kidding but really...
A good lesbian relationship???
Isn't that like jumbo shrimp?
Military intelligence?
Just be open and communicate.
2006-12-01 05:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
just be calm and let it flow, lots of cuddles and kisses and going out and having fun and enjoy life in each other's presence.
2006-12-01 05:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by rchlbsxy2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋