Spanked and Spoiled????

Question

I've been married to my husband for 3 almost 4 yrs. He makes GREAT MONEY, and basically gives me whatever I want. I don't have to work unless I choose to. I'm VERY spoiled material wise. I drive a brand new luxery suv and am allowed to shop till my hearts content. He's also is a great husband. he devouts most of his free time to me and our 18 month old daughter.The PROBLEM IS though that he sets very high standards in our home. Everything needs to cleaned at all times with the exception of the babies toys (he knows thats almost impossible), dinner ready when he comes home (yes he does help cook), absolutly NO CURSING EVER ( I rarley do it) & to be a perfect hostess/wife when we're entertaining (this is a BIG one cause we have to entertain clients of his alot) If I screw up then he makes me take licks with the belt. It stings like hell.(happens a few times a yr.) He says I should just follow his rules and it won't happen. Should I give up my pampered life to stop the licks with the belt

He also requires that I do as he says. He word is law in the house. (yes he cares about my opinion but he still makes the final decision)

He comes from a VERY well to do family that are respected members of the community. He says this is how his family does things and I should be thankful for the life I lead.

When he's giving me the licks with his belt he requires that I'm completly still and quiet. The most he will alow is a little whimpering anymore than that (crying, squirming around) I get additional licks.

I DO LOVE HIM ALOT. I just don't like the consequences he imposes

Answer 1

You're spoiled, arrogant, egotistical and materialistic. You deserve whatever you have coming to you.

Answer 2

Did you know going into the relationship that your life would be that structured? Did you see the structure he required before you had children.
While I'd say that it was abuse if you did nothing to deserve the treatment, but you have options to not have that happen and it doesnot happen when you meet those expectations. Why should he have to treat you like a child to get you to do what is expected of you?
Now if you do not want to meet those expectations then leave. Don't fault him for you not wanting to meet he's expectations. You have shown that you are able to do what is asked, but it sounds like you do not want to do that all the time.

Another thing that occured to me is why you have not put forth the effort to make your own money so you don't have to live on anothers coat tail. Just because you breath does not mean you are owed anything. So go to school, learn a profession, and make the kind of money you need to enjoy life without him.

In your statement above you never said anything about your feelings for him. Or him for you. Sounds very cold.

Answer 3

WOW with everything given to you why not follow the rules. And if he does spank you it's not like he does it everyday. Nest time tell him to tie you up and take advantage of you that way instead of a spanking. Maybe he will find more and more reasons to tie you up. But think about it beofre you make a decision. In on hand you have almost everything you want and the other hand what will you have if you leave. SO think hard before you make the right decision becuase when you make it there's no turning back.

Answer 4

Wow are our husbands related??? My husband doesn't spank much but has on one occasion and has let me know he will do it again if nessecary. I'd count your blessing and go on with your life. Just try to do what your suppose to so you don't have to take to many licks. Your husbands right you should be thankful for the life you have. The only thing I dont agree with is that your not allowed to even cry when he give out the whippings. What does he expect?????

Answer 5

Ok, I can see where, if you don't work, you should take care of the household duties. But, the belt thing? That's spousal abuse, plain and simple. He is doing it to dominate you. What is he, your father? You need to put a stop to it now, or your daughter is going to grow up and think that that kind of behavior is ok. Either get into some marriage counseling or leave altogether.

Answer 6

Sound like BOTH of you have serious problems and one is feeding off the other.
You love the attention and praise of man to feel good about yourself through having nice things.
He on the other hand is a control freak.
You could leave if you like but you probably will attract the same type of man. Why not seek help for the both of you if you truly love him.

Answer 7

is this a joke?? your hubby SPANKS you when you don't do something to his liking? this is ridiculous. if my hubby told me to stand still so he could spank me, i would LAUGH in his face & tell him to shove it where the sun don't shine. i don't work and hubby makes all the money. he doesnt' buy me things tho. I BUY THEM MYSELF! The money he makes is just as much mine as it his. hubby and i both have high standards when it comes to cleanliness of our house , but if i don't feel like making dinner , or doing the dishes ( which happens at least once a week) its no big deal . In my house hubby and i are equal. sounds to me like you have a DADDY ....not a husband. if you feel that it is more important to drive a brand new luxury suv or "shop till you drop" rather than be treated like an adult so be it. i guess that is YOUR decision. But just remember that if you have sons ... guess how they will be treating their wives and if you have daughters they are gonna grow up thinking this how all adults act, and not be independent strong women that should be.

Answer 8

Basically your husband has reduced you to his prostitute!!! And you accept that role for the monetary rewards. So like my grandmother said, "People can only walk on you if you lie down." Or in your case, bend down. You are a sad example of a woman and should show some self-respect; if not for yourself, for your daughter who will most likely follow in your pitiful footsteps! And in case your wondering, the abuse you're receiving is not physical, it's mental. Get rid of that loser!!!

Answer 9

hes a mentally and physically abusive person and he gives you materalistic things to make up for his behavior. No one has a right to hit another person just cuz that person doesn't follow rules. He needs help badly! so do you,for allowing it. Also,think about what will happen as your daughter gets older. He may start hitting her w/ a belt too.

Answer 10

Of course it is a decision you'll have to make. Personally, I would never be happy with a man who didn't respect me as an adult human being. Being spanked as punishment by your husband is abusive, in my opinion, regardless of how far you were off the mark of his perfectionistic standards.

Answer 11

I would leave but that is just my opinion. He is right on some parts, a woman who is not working should clean the house and make dinner. As for the beatings....well he is definently wrong there.