many of you may think I am stupid for this but truth is that when your in love with someone whom youve been with half of your life time its extremely hard to get over them.I'v been marriedfor 14 yrs I'm 32 years old and my wife 33.we have 2 beautiful childern together .I given my wife my life only to find out that shes having an affair with someone younger and tries to justify her every action with him.and yes I've always givin her affection and supported her with her dreams and never have been abusive to her mentaly nor physically.what else could she want from me I've tried to give her my full attention.I gave up that life of hanging with the boys a long time ago for her and relocated far from that sanerio just to show her that shes was all I ever needed in life.should I wait or should I just start to move on?
2006-12-01 05:03:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! It seems like you have given her so much and have not left anything for yourself.
I think you have tried as hard as you could to save this marriage but it takes two to make it work and from what I gathered your wife is absent.
2006-12-01 05:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey...you are not stupid at all. I know exactly what you are talking about.
They say that people always think that the grass is greener on the other side, many people often realise that this isn't the case eventually but unfortunately a few don't.
I'm guessing that one of the main issues is that you got married really young....18 and 19, maybe she just feels that she missed out on alot in her youth you know the whole dating thing or just feels trapped (which again isn't your fault)
It's hard but what you gotta do is if you really love her, then you have to let her go, try a trial seperation.....let her have her fun and you have yours too, hopefully she'll see that what she had is so much better for her.....or maybe she wont.
At the end of the day, be grateful for what you have....your children and if it's not meant to be then it's hard but you just gotta let her go and find someone that will love you for you, you shouldn't have to change for anyone!
Good luck and I really hope you get what you truly want x
2006-12-01 13:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by hoochiemama2000_uk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if she is a very lucky woman and doesn't even know it. sounds as if she has poor impulse control, and is a bit immature. she may have a fragile ego, and this other man is saying and doing all the things that would boost her ego. if i were u, i would ask her to go to counciling, tell her u love her, and want her back. if she refuses to go to counciling, and refuses to work on the marriage, than u have done your all, and theres really no more u can do, but wait around hoping she will come to her senses, but what if she doesn't? where does that leave u? if u wait on her to come back, what will that do to your self worth? u will just harbor resentment later on. if she refuses to work on the marriage, than she doesn't have any intention of reconciliation with u, and it may be best to distance yourself from her and maybe think about divorce. it is never easy to leave and give up on someone we love, but u have a right to a life too. and who wants to play second best, to be passed over for someone younger, when u gave up everything to make her happy.
2006-12-01 19:45:03 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how much you love her, you have to love yourself first! Let her know that you care for her but you refuse to be treated this way. Give her the space she asked for, because you need space too; to not to get hurt constantly by her action. You also need to provide stability for your kids. If she is not yours, let her fly. If she's yours, she will come back to you. Just make sure you don't 'give your life for your wife' again. A good relationship has to be fair - more or less.
Be strong! I am sure you will come out a better person after this!
2006-12-01 13:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by pathanChe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is now to move on, it is even harder after 30 years (which someone I know is just doing). He is in the same boat as you. You will hurt for a long time, but to do it now is better than waiting another 14 years. It's true when you love someone you don't want to give them up, but you must let your head rule your heart otherwise life could be harder for you.
I wish you all the best
Regards
England UK
2006-12-02 14:18:20 · answer #5 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really do need to move on.make sure you see your kids regularly & never run mum down to them as that will hurt them.
you sound like a lovely man & I'm sure in time when your pain is gone you will find love again. for now you need to keep busy
take up a sport to ease the stress
take care
2006-12-01 21:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on. it's going to be hard but you'll be glad you did it. eventually.
she's just using you because she knows you supported her and everything. she doesn't want to lose that stability. there is someone out there somewhere that will appreciate you for all the love and attention you can give, and it's not her. move on.
2006-12-01 13:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on, if you don't you will be in drama wasting your life away.
get an attorney and try to get your kids.
let your wife have her teenage fling and move on.
2006-12-01 13:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on and move back home and party your a$$ off...
2006-12-01 13:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Shocker3:16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry buddy she is just a lost cause.
2006-12-01 13:20:34 · answer #10 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋