My boyfriend, and kids dad, lives with me and I want him to leave. He is very selfish and controlling. Every little stupid thing he does annoys me and alot of my stress and problems come from the bad decisions he makes. If I make him leave it will be very ugly and he will not leave on his own how do I get this resolved? Oh yea, If he leaves I also have to deal with my family because they hold strong to the early 1900's beliefs. I am his property...what about the kids....blah......blah....blah........
2006-12-01 04:08:40 · 9 answers · asked by Jam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can control one person and that's you.
As such, you should worry about your own happiness first. Everyone else around you obviously isn't concerned with how you feel, so if you give in to them and forego your own happiness, no one will give a damn about what you want. Stand up, be an adult, kick that lowlife out and tell your 1900s Quaker parents that you have your own dreams for your life and if they have plans, they should apply them to their own lives (which they won't do because their plan was to try and re-live their lives vicariously through you).
In this situation, your child will grow up in such a way that you will not be any sort of role model. If you allow yourself to be beaten into the ground like you are, what kind of message does that send to your child? Its time to buck up and start telling the people around you that things are going to change. Yes, you made a mistake by having a child while unmarried, but it would be an even bigger mistake to marry this guy and put your child in a household where verbal abuse is the norm.
Good luck!
2006-12-01 04:13:40 · answer #1 · answered by Takfam 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family may have strong beliefs, about you being his property, but what about you? don't your happiness count? your don't need all of that pressure. and only you can make a difference. Try, to talk to your boyfriend, and tell him this is just not working, and it is putting too much stress on you, now either you have to leave, or I will, what will it be? Also say it is not healthy for your child, hearing all of this fussing. Say for your child's sake, you hope that you both can part, on a good note! I hope this helps, if not you have to take drastic steps!
2006-12-01 12:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it this way. If you're not happy with him, your kids can feel it and grow up with mixed ideas of a healthy relationship. If you can raise kids pretty much on your own (with a little child support from your boyfriend) then I'd suggest it as your boyfriend won't change. He can still be in the kids life, just not yours. If it makes you a happier person, then it'll help your kids in the long run.
2006-12-01 12:11:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Children will NOT be happy if you are not Mom is always over a dad in their eyes. To children mom is everything and when your not happy there is alot of tension in the house I've been there. Be strong and in moments of pain deal with it alone not in front of them. In your families case they need to learn to live with it, in this generation your not the first woman to leave a man or the last!
Texas
2006-12-01 12:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by Arlene 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do not get along, it will only get worse. you need a stress-free life. he can not make you stay with him. he will have to pay support. tell your parents that abuse and stress are a bad thing. I stayed in a bad marriage for almost 20 years because people told me think about the kids. finally he shot himself in the head and committed suicide. he threatened to kill my 14 year old son too. all kids were his. i never cheated even tho he did. life is too short to go Thur so much pain. good luck. prayers to you.
I am now in a happy loving marriage. good luck.
2006-12-01 12:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by Ginnykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be Strong and leave, you and your kids happiness are more important
2006-12-01 12:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children's happiness should come first.
2006-12-01 12:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not happy then your child will not be happy
2006-12-01 12:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by crazylady1193 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why cant you move out with your boyfriend?
2006-12-01 12:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by yesssssssss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋