Am I overprotective to not want my 5 yr. old to have a horse or pony?

Question

My husband wants to buy either a small horse or a pony for my kids for Christmas. We have the space (about 10 acres) but, I'm worried and think my 5 yr. old daughter is too young to start riding. For that matter, I don't like the idea of my 7 yr. old son riding either. We would give them riding lessons but, still... I keep thinking of 'Gone With the Wind' and Christopher Reeve. Would you be very worried too? What do you think is a good age for kids to start riding?

You all make excellent points. After reading your answers, I can assure you we will not be getting a horse til the kids have riding lessons. And maybe not even then, because we are 'on the go' a lot and wouldn't have the time these wonderful animals require. Thanks for making me think and I will see to it that my husband reads every answer here.

Answer 1

Since owning a pony or horse is a long term commitment of decades of time, resources, and possible vet bills; perhaps you should make sure your husband knows what he is getting into.
You are not over-protective. I started riding at 6, but was bucked off or fell off many times. When you are younger it is easier to get back up and try again; but it is dangerous. If you are not at ease with the idea, then I wouldn't embark on such a time-consuming commitment at this time.
You will need a shed or barn depending on where you live. You will need to learn what parasites to treat for and what grain supplements and vitamins are going to be needed. 10 acres doesn't mean you have plenty of food, as horses/ponies are not cows and need some grain and protein. You have to apply tick and fly preventatives and not be squeamish about checking hoofs and teeth of a large animal. Vets are very expensive now days, so you will probably have to worry about those expenses too.
I would worry about who was going to care for the animal and who has the expertise to train both the horse or pony and the children. They will all be looking to you for direction.
Please get your husband to read up on the subject. I personally never got along with ponies. A good quarter horse or saddle horse will be patient enough to allow for mistakes and intelligent enough not to bite the hand that feeds it.

Answer 2

If you do get a pony, just make sure to stay close while your kids are riding. You or your husband could lead the pony while the child rides. My husband's parents used to have a Shetland Pony for their grandkids. For the younger, inexperienced kids, someone would always lead them. The older, more experienced ones (about 7-8yrs old) could ride by themselves. This pony was pretty old and mostly interested in eating. As soon as anyone would let him stop, he'd have his nose to the ground. I recommend getting something like that, if you do get one. However, ponies can live a long time. What happens when your kids outgrow it? Maybe you should start with just taking lessons (the whole family). Then, in a few years, your kids will be big enough for a larger pony or a small horse. They'll also know how to control it and take care of it themselves.

Answer 3

Horses or ponies are a huge responsibility, time consuming and expense. Not to mention can be dangerous even to an experienced rider. You will be tied to your property unless you can find someone qualified to take care of them when you are away. Horses are an accident or sickness waiting to happen. With that said, I have been riding for 18 years and have four of them. 1) Have your kids take some lessons for about 6 months. 2) Lease or half lease a horse or pony for another 6 months only after the lessons and everyone is totally enthusiastic about horses. Then and only then should you consider purchasing a horse or pony. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well, if you don't have any experiences with horse (which it sounds like), this may be too much too soon. I would start with a gift of riding lessons, then take it from there.

Personally speaking, I am the only horse nut in my family. I have proof of nutti-ness since I was 4 years old, and I asked my parents for a horse or riding lessons every year of my life - it was the only thing I wanted. I finally got a horse when I was 21. But I know now, that my parents thought it was too much. But honestly, I would have been thrilled with just riding lessons. I have a memory of walking to the closest riding stable (about 3/4 mile) and asking for a job when I was 8 years old!

So you need to evaluate whether your kids are horse nuts or just going through a phase...

good luck.

Answer 5

My kids have been riding since they were about three and now my 9 year old is an excellant barrell racer and my 7 year old is learning to rope. Was I scared definitly and it is normal. If you are scared then you are cautious. I wouldn't get a pony for them but instead a small horse that is over 10 and has been used for trails and kids. You might have to pay more but definitly worth it. We have one that the kids can stand on its back and it won't move. Horses are a lot of fun but they are dangerous if you do not know what to do and riding lessons would be a must. My kids have fallen off, been bit, kicked and more than once I have screamed I was getting rid of all of the horses but they keep getting right back out there and I have to admit I love it as much as they do. Remember what can happen and take precautions to avoid it but don't dwell on it. Kids have died doing cheerleading, playing football and driving a car yet as parents we still continue to allow them to do these activities we just learn to be careful.

Answer 6

I worked at a therapeutic barn where kids as young as 2-3 were put on a horse (with specially trained horses, two sidewalkers to balance, and one headwalker to lead). Horses aren't any more dangerous than buying your kid a bicycle IF the child is responsible & supervised.

Keep in mind these kids are way too young to be caring for the horse or riding for a moment by themselves. The real question is are YOU ok with the work that goes along with it? That might be a good reaso to ask your husband to wait a year or two.

The important thing is the temperament of the horse you get. One mistake is that parents buy their young kids a young horse (to grow up together), and that's a recipe for disaster. Get a well schooled, predictable, bombproof, older horse!!! Ideally maybe a retired riding school horses who is 15+ yrs old and has a forgiving temperament.

Also be careful because parents with little kids like to get little ponies. But ponies out there have sour temperaments and/or very poor training. Because they're tiny, they're allowed to get away with rude and dangerous things. Some people even find it "cute" when a pony kicks or bites. If your heart is set on a pony, spend a LOT of time researching & visiting ponies before buying one.

What you may want to do is talk to a riding school in the area. Go with your kids for a few lessons. If you find a trainer you really click with, it's not unusual to ask for their help in horse shopping.

You don't need to spend a fortune on a good horse if you know where to look, but don't let money be your deciding factore. Be aware there are rescues & shelters with nice horses available. Their adoption fees are typically lower than private party sales, and they should take the horse back if you find one day the kids have outgrown it.

In the meantime, you & your husband should do a lot of reading up on horse care. You don't need to buy a beautiful pony just to have huge vet bills or lose the horse altogether to common problems like laminitis (founder) & colic. The more you know about horses, the wiser your purchase decision will be. (And the crooked sellers can smell a total novice a mile away, so be careful)

BTW Christopher Reeve died in a high-speed competition when his horse misjuded a big jump and he got tangled up in the reins. Your kids will NOT be jumping. The odds of getting paralyzed or dying on a horse exist, but then again you could drive the kids to school, get hit by a truck, and the kids are in intensive care... but it doesn't make you not drive a car. The best thing you can to do avoid big horse accidents is to get the kids proper instruction, put them only on suitable horses, and never let them ride without good adult supervision.

I have seen kids involved in horses get more focused, stay away from drugs and boys, get in better physical shape, and work harder in school.

Hope this helps!

P.S. If you're thinking of keeping the horse there, you need to get a companion for him: another horse or in some cases a goat or little donkey.

P.P.S. When I got my very first horse I kept her at home because I had 15 acres and it seemed logical. But if I had to do it over again, I would've boarded her for at least the first 6-12 months. I was a nervous wreck. I never knew when to call the vet. She'd do little things and I'd wonder if it was normal or a symptom of something. When she did have problems, I had no experienced horsepeople around to help. So my vote is to lease your first horse or consider boaring the first one you buy.

Answer 7

Horses and ponies are a lot of work and responsibility, and if your kids are 5 and 7, then you can probably guess who is going to do most of the work. Also, with kids that age, there is a good chance that they wont even care about the animal in a few months, after the novelty wears off. They are also expensive. Ask your husband if he would spend several hundred, maybe a few thousand, to keep the kids happy for a couple of months. Most importantly, you have to communicate your feelings and concerns with your husband. If you don't say anything, and one of the kids does get hurt, you will feel all the blame for not mentioning you fears earlier.

Answer 8

If I were you I would enroll your kids in lessons for a couple years. That way you will be able to tell if they are going to stick with it or not. Make sure you find a place with qualified instructors who will be careful to match your children up with a horse/pony whose temperment is well suited to beginners.

Your concern is understandable as there is always a risk with riding, but those risks are greatly reduced if your children learn from an instructor, and a gentle horse, how to properly act around horses. If you do end up with your own horses, one thing you should always insist on is that they wear certified riding helmets. You can also buy protective riding vests (if you get one make sure it is BETA certified). From a personal perspective, I ride, and I would have been crushed if my parents wouldn't let me ride as a child. The benefits outweigh the risks, IMO, if your kids really love riding.

Answer 9

The fact is that horses are large animals and can be dangerous. Even ponies can be dangerous. So can allowing them to be passengers in a car. And riding a bicycle. And many other daily things we do.

The fact is, many of the things we do in life are dangerous. We can either deny ourselves many enjoyments and avoid some (but not all) of them. Or we can recognize that there are real dangers and take steps to avoid them while still enjoying life to the fullest.

If your children have a real desire to ride, I do think that taking riding lessons is a great start. They can learn things like being safe around horses along with riding. Then, when they've proven that they know horses and know how to be as safe as possible, then maybe they can have a horse of their own.

I started riding at 3 on the back of a horse with my aunt. By 5 I had my own pony (in the summer time when i got to visit my aunt) and rode every summer. By 8th grade I had worn my parents thin and they finally bought me my first horse. I have seen many accidents and had a few myself but I've also had hundreds of wonderful memories of times shared with my horse and fellow riders.

Answer 10

As long as you don't teach them to jump I don't think you have to worry about either of your two examples. Christopher Reeve had a "freak accident" and the situation in GWWT was the father's fault for teaching a young child to jump a pony without teaching her how to handle the pony, because it's not a situation where you can just aim it and hang on.

I started riding a small pony when I was 3 and graduated up to a full sized horse (15hh) when I was 5. I did a lot of falling because I rode bareback, but here I am at 20 and I'm yet to break a bone or have any real serious injury and that's after we've had dozens of horses, working with abused and/or violent horses and I've been training 2 and 3-year-olds from the ground, up for 8 years.

I'm all for kids riding as long as the parents have a clue. There are way too many people that go out and buy a horse without having a single idea about what they're doing and they end up getting either their kids or their new horse(s) hurt. If you or your husband don't know about horses then you need to think about holding off on the new horse until next Christmas, and spend this next year learning everything. It's a lot more complicated than buying a cat, you can't just put a litter box in the corner and pet it every now and then, it's very easy to screw up a horse.

I would suggest that you put the kids through lessons for a little while to see if they like it. They're pretty much guaranteed to like it at first, but some of them get bored within 6 to 12 months, and if you had a horse then you'd pretty much have no use for it at that point if it was bought solely for the kids.

Also you'll need to consider your income (the price of buying the horse is generally the cheapest part). Hay is extremely expensive now and people are literally abandoning their horses because they can no longer afford them. Then of course there's farrier and vet bills, teeth floating, grain, bedding prices of tack, etc.

And it's not suggested that you buy one horse at a time because they can become very lonely.

A friend of mine with no horse experience bought her 10-year-old a horse after she'd ridden mine a few times and got a blue ribbon in a walk/trot class. Unfortunately they were dumb about it and got her an untrained 2-year-old filly. I did a little groundwork and taught her manners but I refused to teach her to ride b/c I knew that they would put their timid little girl on her and send her out to ride in their 30 acre pasture. Newbies and 2-year-olds don't mix. After I gave the filly back after a month they basically taught her all of her bad habits again because they didn't know what they were doing, even though I had tried to train them. Horses require a lot of practice, which is why I suggest that people get into them as young as possible while under the supervision of a knowledgeable parent or trainer. But even better yet, the filly was lonely so she spent a lot of time by the horses across the fence. The people that owned the other horses moved them suddenly and the filly broke through the fence and was running through the countryside with huge gashes in her chest that required the vet and stitches.

Moral of the story? Only get a horse if you..
1. Know a lot about them; their diseases, their required vaccinations, how often they need to be wormed, shod/trimmed, fed, types of hay/grain, etc.
2. Can afford to keep them (don't look at the price of the horse as a way to judge the overall price. It's a buyer's market for horses due to the limiting of horse slaughter, but it's all of the other things that add up and make them expensive)
3. Can afford to keep 2 of them for companionship. If not 2 horses then at least get it some other animal to keep in the pasture with it...a goat, a miniature horse, a pony, etc.
4. Know the kids will maintain interest, unless you're willing to take over with the horses after they stop playing with them
5. Know the horse is well-trained and bombproof. Your kids are guaranteed to fall off when they start taking risks (i.e. going above a walk), but really it's not as big of a deal as it sounds. Kids are durable and falling off of a slow-moving horse is not nearly as bad as it could be if you have an untrained or disrespectful horse.

There's more, but I have to cut this short. Good luck with your decision. Give me an E-mail if you have any questions: [e-mail]