Share your thoughts on this please.... my friend's is in this situation and I'm at a loss on what to say to her. Since she is in some state of depression and I don't wanna add more by telling her to leave her husband.
2006-12-01 03:37:16 · 19 answers · asked by Terry Chan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends what makes you think they are being unfaithful. If this is your friend, you need to just be there for her. It is silly to give people relationship advice because they won't listen anyways. They know their circumstances and feelings better than you do and they know what they should do. If you tell her to leave and she never does it may harm your friendship. Just be a shoulder for your friend to cry on and an ear to listen to her.
2006-12-01 03:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only so much YOU can do, but plenty she can. In the first place, if he IS cheating, he sure isn't worth getting depressed over. It's time for HER to take control and do one of two things -either get hold of one of the growing number of places who specialize in getting evidence on a suspected cheater. Browse the yellow pages in her area, or do some online research. Another thing would be for her to calmly, and intelligently review whatever knowledge she thinks she has that leads her to suspect her husband. Then confront him outright. His response and general body language should give her a good indication whether she's right or not. She could keep a private record of the times he is away from the house without her, and where he said he was going, or had been. She can look over her "diary" at a later time and see if she can pick up on any "pattern".
There really are only two directions to go... either go on denying what she suspects, or take control and begin building her evidence. It could come in very useful later
You don't want to have to deal with the distressing situation of an unfaithful spouse. On the other hand, the only choices you have are to suck it and act like nothing's wrong, or take charge and find out whatever you can that will either uphold your suspicions, or prove them wrong. One thing she has in her favor is that he doesn't know she suspects him. She should keep it like that for a while, as she works quietly on gathering any possible information. that could help her make her case.
2006-12-01 11:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by sharmel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would just confront my spouse. The only way to solve a problem is to first ask the question. She has to remember that she is married to this person and there should not be anything that the two of them are unable to discuss between each other. The key thing is honest and trust in this relationship, without that the relationship between to two of them will not work.
2006-12-01 11:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by foxy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she should have an eye on him like a hawk. Snoop! sounds bad but do it! Watch him when he says hes going out to his friends drive by see if hes there. When he says hes working late drive by. If you suspect you know wheres hes going.. Plan to go there also with your friend to check up on him. If she has a house phone listen to the calls. Answer his phone more... Just be there more...Alway on the look out. Never let your gaurd down.
2006-12-01 12:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would investigate it further. Try to look through his emails, cell phone calls, etc; anything you can possibly get a hold of and then confront him with everything you find if it's worth mentioning. If he has a hard time swallowing or talks funny or even looks funny when you confront him, you'll know something is going on. Good luck!
2006-12-01 12:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by pangfvlx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your friend typically a suspicious or paranoid person? Because if not, then he most likely is cheating. If her intuition says he is, I think he probably is. But she needs to find out for sure. If it were I, the cheater would be history. Maybe you could offer for her to come and stay with you until she figures out what to do. But if he is cheating, she should leave him.
2006-12-01 11:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to one of the security stores and buy a freakin tracking device..or one of those things you can sit outside and listen in the building..or just come out and tell him...I suspect something...
2006-12-01 11:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by Win 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront them about it first, and then if you think they are still lying to you about it, or hiding something, then feel free to investigate, but be ready for your spouse to accuse you of being controlling, jealous, and snooping, but that is their own fault for not being truthful and upfront with you....they run that risk anyway when they cheat on you!
2006-12-01 11:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should tell her to leave him either. That can backfire and damage your friendship. I think you should tell her, "Whatever you decide to do, know that I am here for you." It may help to say to her, "I don't know the right things to say to you, and I'm so afraid of saying the wrong things, but I want you to know that I am always here to listen, and I believe in your ability to make the right decision. You are much stronger than you think you are, and I will always be here for you to lean on if you're not feeling so strong."
2006-12-01 11:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell my hubby to hit the road and don't come back if I knew he was being unfaithful. Just keep being her friend.
2006-12-01 18:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋