I am a big girl. I know this...I have a mirror. Earlier today, my husband, son, and I were outside playing in the snow, and my husband said, "Hey biggen...". At first I thought he was talking to my son, then realized he was talking to me. This really hurt my feelings!! I am really upset with him right now. He says he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and he was just joking around. Am I overreacting? I am really upset!!!
2006-12-01 03:31:39 · 61 answers · asked by jessicalynn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him you're upset and it really hurt your feelings. Ask him Does he have an answer to help you lose weight? WOuld he encourage, help and support you if you trired? He must know that it hurt your feelings, your self confidence is affected as well. This can only lead down a negative path.... or better yet... take his words, write them down somewhere you see every day and write an affirmation (I am beautiful etc...)to encourage YOURSELF to lose weight, get fit and regain your confidence.
2006-12-01 04:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by TRE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the truth and that is that you are overweight. Yes your husband didn't mean anything by it but it hit you like a ton of bricks. I'll give you some time to ponder this one, how about a suggestion? Next year it's the new you and you start by watching the things you eat and drink. On January 1, 2007 you start a little exercise program for yourself such as walking a mile a day it doesn't have to be at one time but there is more benefit to doing it at one time (your heart and you metabolism changes all for the good). Now go have a nice day and quit feeling hurt. You know what you can do to improve you and recognizing is half of it. Good Luck to you!
2006-12-01 03:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was very insensitive but I'm glad he said he didn't mean to hurt your feelings. So, you told him how you felt...Good. Do keep in mind we do look a big bigger with all the extra layers of clothing while out in the snow. Don't forget to let your son know it isn't right to call people names that might hurt, even if they are meant as a term of endearment. Set the ground rules and ensure it does not happen again, not even jokingly. It isn't funny when someone is hurt.
2006-12-01 04:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband has never said anything about your weight before and then he says that. You are NOT overreacting at all. It came as a shock to you, it's natural. What he did was very hurtful. He only said he was joking around because you told him that it hurt your feelings. Otherwise, he wouldn't have intended it to be a joke, but a very low way to tell how he really feels about your weight.
2006-12-01 03:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by Valentine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no that is not overreacting... I would be so mad at my hubby to. Unfortunately, men do not have the concept that we are not one of the guys. They talk to their friends like that so they assume its ok to do the same with us. News flash we are not one of the guys and we are sensitive. That is just our nature. He would not want you to go around in public calling him something derogatory like hey "little man" (you get what i mean?) would he? I am not saying he is small its just an example. Good luck. I hope you can make him understand that its not ok to refer to the love of his life, the mother to his children, as biggen. Have a great day.
2006-12-01 03:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by Sara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see both sides of this but neither one justifies him say that. On one side he should know if your your size is a sensitive issue for you. Nick names like that should not even come into being if they hurt(especially now that we are all out of middle school) On the other hand your size may be part of why he loves you. A sign of affection for the a part of you he holds dear. But as I said if it hurts you, I don't think you are over reacting. Just don't cut him off before talking to him and letting him really know that that was not OK.
2006-12-01 03:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by midraj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends, does he joke around a lot? Some guys do, my boyfriend and I pick on eachother all the time and don't mean anything by it. If he isn't the type to make jokes like that, I would take it more seriously. I think you should talk to him about it calmly. Explain that if it was a joke you feel it was in bad taste and that it hurt you.
2006-12-01 03:42:32 · answer #7 · answered by voidtillnow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you're not overreacting. But just because you're upset doesn't mean you don't do anything about it. Sit down with him and set it straight that what he said was not funny stuff. Let him know your opinions and what matters to you. It's a joke to him but he should know that his jokes can hurt others.
2006-12-01 04:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by pangfvlx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why this would upset you.
No one likes it when our faults are pointed out in front of others, even when those others are our own kids.
This may be the thing you are the most sensitive about. It's okay and normal to be upset about it.
And, even though he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, he did, so he needs to apologize to make things right. This may be hard for him to understand.
If he won't apologize, try to think of something he would be sensitive about as an example of how feelings can be hurt unintentionally.
2006-12-01 03:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by Picasso 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He apologized so why are you still holding it against him. Come now, sit with him and tell him how sad he made you and both of you talk about it. Be open and express your concerns clearly and give him time to also explain.
Meanwhile, consider this...he wouldn't be around you if he didn't like you size...I bet it turns him on.
Also, are you that very righteous that you haven't made any mistake like that to him before. Imagine if he also took you on for you wrongs to him the way you are doing to him now...Just forgive him...and then work things out together.
2006-12-01 03:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋