I am very depressed,gave up my job, and in huge financial debt...?

Question

As a general manager, I had it all, a 6 figure income,and home,loving husband.
7 months ago, I was held up by an armed robber, at gunpoint. One of my staff, pregnant at the time, lost her baby since. I can not return to this location for fear and have developed Post Traumatic Stress disorder. I guilty, unstable, sick, depressed,and have not felt like going on with life. I keep "waiting" for the "next" crime to occur to me. I know this may sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I just can't go back to this job...I'm at my wits end, as I feel I need to work to support my husband who works 14 hour days to make ends meet. We are in huge financial debt with credit cards, line of credit,2 homes with mortgages, all of which were no problem when I had this job. It seems futile to go on, yet I feel guilty for not holding up my side of the financial burden and don't wnat to let my husband carry this added stress. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

you really need to get out of that house and start to live again. you have been traumatized but you fail to see the things in your life that you are blessed with. see a therapist, as for the debts, you will be able to fix that when you begin to live again. but right now you need to reach down within yourself and get past this. stop playing it over in your mind, if you don't get on with your life, you have let a criminal take control of the rest of your life. don't let him win, don't give him the pleasure of ruining your life, your husband needs you and you know you can do it. don't let fear take what you have that is important in your life. i will pray that you have the strength to not only get passed this but also triumph over it.

Answer 2

Yes, please get psychological counselling first, for your depression. It is very normal (I think you would be abnormal if you weren't) to be depressed and anxious after such a traumatic experience. I wouldn't want to return either.

As for your finances, see what you can pare down. Can you sell one of your homes, downsize to a smaller, more affordable place and pay off some of the outstanding credit? Do you have any savings or investments that you can cash in to pay off debt? Yes, I know liquidating assets is kind of scary, but believe me, it's much better and less stressful to have no assets but no debt as opposed to having assets with HUGE debt. There is nothing more stressful than debt you can't pay. Or, can you look for another job, doing some administrative type of work just to have an income coming in, even if you are just making a bit. A bit is better than none and will help out. Maybe some kind of job where you don't have the stress of decision making, just being a worker-bee for awhile until you are comfortable going back to something with more responsibility.

You are in my prayers!
Good luck!

Answer 3

I know this is going to sound harsh and I apologize, but what is it with women in today's society that makes them so afraid of everything?

I understand that your situation was far more serious, but over and over again - in my personal life - so many women are afraid because they're outside and it's gotten dark, going to the mall alone, driving a car, walking an empty street, a passing stranger, a phobia with insects - everyday common things and the list is endless.

This is a social phenomena that just isn't being addressed. When America went to War against Iraq (the first time), physchological institutions where flooded with calls with truama conditions (nerves, can't sleep, can't work) just by watching tv.

I can tell you this was not the case when people were living off the fat of the land. Is this what civilization has brought us?

I agree you need psychological help. I suggest that when the house is empty, you stand in the middle of the room and roar!

Scream loud and hard. Release all these pent up fears. Hit your couch with your fist! Release a part of yourself that you have been hiding for far too long. Turn up the music and include physical exercise as part of your regimen. Scream with the music, blare out the lyrics!

When you are done, please, please... guard against the cynical, angry woman syndrome that seems to be the flip side of this solution.
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Answer 4

First things first. You need to get into the grieving process and that is hard as hell to even want to confront. I know that sounds strange but you lost a lot when the guy held you up. And you NEED to grieve for those losses. There is a book out that leads you thru this process and there are other means as well. Being lead thru it would be great if you can manage to trust someone that much. I think the name of the book is "the 10 steps of grieving" but I am not sure. I wish I could do more to help and I gladly would if you'd let me. Otherwise I'll keep you in mind when I do my me and Him time. Plz seek help soon. PTS doesn't wait for you to get ready.

Answer 5

first of all learn how to speak properly. second of all go to doctor phil. and third if he cant help or if he is busy at the time then you might want to slit your wrists b/c noone gives a rats a** .

Answer 6

PTSD is very real, but you won't get over it without counselling. Please seek help.