i was in a relationship..someone who said they would love me for the rest of my life. he showed his love by beating and choking me.
he promised me candle light dinners and roses..but instead he went out with his friends and left me at home , i finally got away from it all..
my friends want me to start going out... but how can i trust anyone anymore
2006-12-01 02:51:37 · 21 answers · asked by luvutaz1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is to all Men, it is a disgrace to beat up a woman you claim you love. It shows you are selfish and a distroyer.
Lady, I am very sorry that one of my mate caused you this much pain. We are all not created like that. As much as there are sad stories of relationships gone bad there are also as many good and sweet and wonderfull relationships in the world. Its just that the bad ones get more voice.
However, please accept my sincerest apologies on the behalf all the guys out there that are real men and truly love there spouses and prove it by showering love on them. Please, forgive all of us and give us the opportunity to show you that there are also many that realy care.
Also, I will advice you on one thing. Please, be careful about guys you come across and try them out cafefully before accepting to be married to them. Most of the times the signs of a person's voilent behaviour stare us in the face during courtship, but we dismiss it as something that will pass, but it doesn't.
And also please promises do not make a person, but proofs. So, kindly take time to court the person you will be marrying. After all marriage is a long journey and hence it would be proper to allow for a period of at least 2 years for courtshp to get to know your intended spouse. During that time both of you will show out your character and be appraised properly by each other.
To begin trusting others you must forgive your past and understand that one bad apple does not mean every other apple is bad.
2006-12-01 03:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi....totally understand
Been there done that.
It takes time and this helped me.
I read the bible especially Proverbs.
There are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs
and I would read one a day.
Like today is the first so I would read chapter one.
Or if it was the 12th day of the month then I would read
chapter 12 for that day. There was a lot of things said in
those chapters that helped me to love again and helped me
inner strength to stop getting in the same type of problematic relationships.
There is a bible called "The Message" that is totally awesome. It is a paraphrase. Other wise use a NIV (New International Version) or King James Version.
This helped me many years ago and I have a wonderful 10 year relationship now.
Best wishes to you.
2006-12-01 11:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by Shawna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard, but don't judge every one from him. I was there once, but after awhile you do start trusting again. I was married, and got a divorce. Said I would never trust again, let alone get married again. Have been married almost 25 years now. Take one step at a time. Just look at it this way. You found out what you didn't want. Don't settle for less than what you want. In the mean time it never hurts to have friends, and someone to talk to. Some of my best friends are guys.
2006-12-01 11:28:56 · answer #3 · answered by CHEROKEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Time heals all wounds" - go out with your girlfriends and just have some fun! You don't need to worry about trusting anyone right now - the last thing you need is a new man in your life. What you need are some good old fashioned giggle fests with your friends. Take time to be alone, find what you like in life and go for it, do things you have always dreamed of. Life is short don't let it pass you by you don't need a man to enjoy it just yet. When you have had all the fun there is to be had then go and meet someone special to share all your greatest memories with!!
2006-12-01 11:15:37 · answer #4 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should listen to your friends !! Trust me not all guys are like that jerk you went out with. Time is a great healer but so are friends as they have your best interests at heart. Go out and have fun. Hopefully along the way you will meet a nice guy who will treat you the way you should be treated and you will learn to love and trust again, but until then just enjoy being with your friends and have fun !! Best of luck
2006-12-01 11:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was very much like you. She was verbally and physically abused by her ex. She was so scared of men that she would hide when I went to visit her right after we met. She thought that a man who treated her with respect was too good to be true. I was patient and eventually earned her trust and won her heart. I lost her last year after 20 years together. Her passing still pains me.
The thing you must do is to give yourself time for the hurt to pass. After that, take a chance and go out. If you don't you may never meet the man of your life. It doesn't hurt to be vigilant, you need to be. Look for the signs that he could be abusive. Does he lose his temper easily? What are his friends and family like? Is he a giver or is he a taker? Is he the center of his universe?
After what you have been through, it will take time for him to build your confidenceand trust. Look for someone who is patient and sees you as the treasure you are.
2006-12-01 11:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not going to put time think you have got that...how long is upto you..i wont tell you my story people who dont understand look at you daft and those who been through it wether it for mths or yrs know that gut feeling....just stay in your comfort zone i found to help didnt do the town and things just kept those i had close when i went out it was close and save then trusting and seeing helps ..sometimes having a friend that lets u put your songs on that make you cry just so you remember why its him you hate and not all men,,and you will know the one when he understands what you have gone through and takes his time good luck it hurts but sad thing in life is it may happen again m, well we wouldnt of put ouselfs through it the first time would we if we knew..good luck
2006-12-01 11:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by michellefluff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time, cause of the relationship you went through don't stress yourself to hop into a new relationship, but you can go out and meet new guys but take it slow and really get to know them, since you said you cant' trust anyone no more.Congrats for surviving that relationship
2006-12-01 11:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Imani♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sounds familiar to me.i was in the same relation with a guy for 3 years.it ended when i got pregnant and it was too late for an abortion.so we broke up.i left him hith his friends and wh..... and i moved on my life with my pregnancy.i lived alone for 3 years.until i let this guy in my life.my only friend that helped me.i sterted to have feelings for him and now we are married.and i am waiting a second baby.he is the most wonderful husband and a perfect father.
just give time and be strong.God sees u and he wont forget u.i never lost my trust and believe me real love came when i expected the less.
i wish u all the best in the world.BE STRONG!
2006-12-01 11:10:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that happened to you.....It's okay to find someone else. But - you now should know the signs of someone like that and to stay away. Be more inquisitive about his character. You won't be in a situation like that again if you are smart about who you choose and once you do - to ask the right questions. There is someone out there who will treat you well, just got to be smart and patient! You can do it!
2006-12-01 10:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋