I have been thinking about spliting up with the father of my two sons b/c he has a drug problem. He has been making an affort these past couple days and really been showing that he wants to quit this and be right for the famliy. Well today he got mad at me because I told him he couldnt clame one of our boys on his taxes. I feel bad because he got up really early to shovel the sidewalk and clean my car windows but then we ended arguing the whole way to work. The reason I feel bad is b/c I can see that he is currently trying and here I am arguing with him and talking about breaking up. Now he acts like if I let him claim one of our kids then he will leave when he gets the money. He told me Im not all that and no one will really want me and do the things he does like take out trash sometimes and all that b/c I already have 2 kids with him. should I feel bad or no? SInce he has been trying and all?
2006-12-01 01:58:27 · 11 answers · asked by Yellowtulips 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you want to stay with him or not? If you do, and he is trying to be worthy of you and your sons by stopping the drugs, then try and take it easy on him. He sounds like he is trying.
2006-12-01 02:02:09 · answer #1 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two boys that need their mother to be strong and reliable. If their dad is bringing you down, expecting money from you, taking money out of the household for his drug problems you need to step up and kick him to the curb. TWO DAYS is not trying. A stay in rehab is a necessity and 30 days is not long enough. When he can come to you and say he has been sober for a year then and only then should you let him in the house where your children are. The world is hard enough they will come across this issue in their lives many times, they do not need it in their home where they should be comforted and loved. You yourself should go attend an Al-anon meeting so you can see the consequences of what drugs can do to a family. This is dangerous and it could get worse before it gets better. You need to be strong, you have children who should be your number one priority. He is choosing his drugs over everything else because they are taking him over. You have to realize its the drugs and not the man you were once in love with but that man is no where to be found as long as drugs are a part of his life. They will always come first!! You need to get help and you need it now, get him out of your home and your life until he cleans up his act.
2006-12-01 10:43:15 · answer #2 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't feel bad. He maybe trying but two days is to early to tell what he's going to do. As for him telling you no one else will want you and do for you the things he does is bull. He's trying to mentally intimidate you, don't fall for it. If he has a drug problem that has effected you and your children I'd say he should be doing alot more than taking the trash out. He should also be getting professional help. Good luck.
2006-12-01 10:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by paulamcneil1223 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I"m not sure I'm seeing where he's trying. You can't be responsible for him and his drug-related actions.
The best thing would be for you and your sons to get away from him until he can prove that he is clean for a decent amount of time. If he know he can control you with guilt and anger, he'll never make real changes because he doesn't really need to.
Good luck!
2006-12-01 10:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by teel2624 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, dont feel bad.
HIm saying no one will ever want you is him just trying to scare you into staying with him. Do whats best for you and your kids even if it feels scary or makes you feel guilty.
He may be trying now and for the last few days, but how long will it last. From what I can gather this unhappiness has been going on for some time. Maybe its time to do whats best for you and get out while you can
2006-12-01 10:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him cause he is not a good guy and if he gets mad over something that little then most likely hes not off of the drugs went thrue same thing for three years and know am engaged to another man that never did drugs in his life that love my kids like they are his own and i am alot more hppy you and the kids deserve better then that think of the kids if he gets busted and they know you know they will take the kids aways from you just for knowing and if your anything like me your kids are your world and you dont need them taken away from you just tell him to leave and dont come back and then tell him that he cant claim either kid on income taxes cause he will use it for drugs and you will use it one the kids and yourself
2006-12-01 10:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by angie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, you and your children should not be around a person like that. It doesn't matter how many kids you have or how long you have been together. If he truly loves and cares for you and your kids, he will go and get help and come back to you clean & sober.
2006-12-01 10:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You nor your children need this. If he is going to kick the habit he will, with or without you. He has to want to change and stop for himself. It sounds like he is going to use you for his excuse as to why he cannot quit and you are falling for it. DON'T. Get out, let his chips fall where they may.
2006-12-01 13:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by shyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The end of your description should have given you your answer. He doesn't respect you. You'd be wise to let him get clean on his own. Then if he's able to do it, see if he's worth going back to....my thought is no.
2006-12-01 10:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by getting2old2quick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has been good for 2 days. Wow what a track record that is.
2006-12-01 10:02:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋