I am an Indian living outside India.My husband is an NRI & we lived together for only 40 days.He then left India for his workplace.After a period of one year,we be together.He first spent some time with me.Now,he is no longer interested to have sex with me.Every time,he denies me.He is practising some other religion(which he didnot tell me b4 marriage).He daily preaches that religion for 2-3hours without any delay(which I really hate).I had not expressed this to him.He even prefers talking to his friends,relatives in India & cares for them. I tried cooking good food for him,smiling with him,sharing my feelings but all in vain.
Whenever he spends time with me,he never seems interested in having sex with me & always tries to maintain distance from me(which really hurts me).I wanna make him spend time with me,share his love & make love with me.Please urgently tell me what to do?
2006-12-01 01:55:33 · 20 answers · asked by Shruti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Making love and having sex is not everything in life. Do what he likes, he will start caring for you.
2006-12-01 02:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by Meeto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have big , problem, I would have said make the first move but you have done so.
You wrote, He daily preaches that religion for 2-3hours without any delay(which I really hate)".
I think he treys to preach you, if so tel him you respect his belief and he should respect your. Most religion say the same thing, and you are married, so see if there a middle ground some where.
Try-Try-Try again, is this his way of telling you to adopt his religion. Was this an arrange marriage?
Talk to the people involved in this arrangement, they may throw some light.
Give time, do the detective work on your own to find the cause. May have to spend money. To see what is up.
Next thing is see a lawyer, go see if he will talk about it.
Find a job and keep yourself useful, and be prepared to leave him if nothing works. Go to school study some thing useful. Just get selfsufficient, so you can cut the cord, in the mean time if things improve fine.
Do not have children till all this is resolved.
2006-12-01 02:24:02 · answer #2 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're clearly not happy, and he is clearly not happy. I don't think this is something that you can change. He doesn't even seem willing. He didn't even tell you about this other religion he's involved in. Has he ever expressed any love or attraction to you? You're putting so much love and effort into someone who doesn't even appreciate you. Have you tried talking to him? If not, try that before anything else. If he still pushes you away I would just move on. You should be happy and you deserve someone who appreciates and loves you.
Good luck.
2006-12-01 02:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you or spend time with you. If the person is not interested they would only resent being forced to be with you. It can easily turn worse for you. Start thinking about what really makes you feel good about yourself. Take care of your own needs . I would consider ending the marriage if possible and/or going on with your own life without him. There are others out there who might be looking for someone like you.
2006-12-01 02:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him if he is really true to his religioun he must satisfy his wife in every way ,no relogion will denie sexual between husband and wife. If he does not agree then he is having a affair with someone else. If he agree be very sexual with him. As the indian saying goes in a bedroom a wife must be like a prostitue to her husband , try to see some xxx tapes and learn some ideas from there. If you do oral sex give him the best suck of his live and he will come back to you
2006-12-01 12:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by firefly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To make your husband love u you should first become lovable and the way is not to expect him to love u. you should try to understand what he is preaching.you can practice this get up in the morning dont keep too many things on the agenda think only about sex have bath thinking about sex wait in bed thinking about sex go out dressed scantily the smell of sex has to emit from you then see the result dont ever ever expect your husband to love you you love him and love all.
2006-12-01 05:45:38 · answer #6 · answered by lawerpradeep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such a guy can change only if he has a physical problem like that of inability to have sex. check for it and see is there is any problem of the sort and if it can be cured. upto that level u should try to salvage the situation. However if there is no physical problem with him, then better drop him like a hot potato. Move on lady. if he is no good as a hubby, why waste your life for him?
Good luck
2006-12-01 04:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Sumit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is you can not MAKE him do something he's not willing to do. You have to then see if he is willing to try. If he is not willing to conversate this with you and work on it then he is not worthy of your Love and his religion is more important. I know it is different from culture to culture and religion on divorce but my suggestion is he is not the same man you fell in Love with to begin with...so ask yourself do you Love who he is now or is it the rejection that bothers you?
Otherwise you have to just be there for him and be miserable. Try to understand his religion as well. Then you to may understand what you need to do more. I wish you Luck.
2006-12-01 02:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question:
Please seek advise of a good doctor.... may be he has problems with erection... religion or observing something are sure signs of lack of erection ... the phase may be temporary but he may think that the effects are permanent.
Buy good book on seduction which will resolve your problems... if you seduce properly no matter how much he is determined of not having sex he has to oblige you...
Show him something of nuditize , either **** or book or something explicit in nature... definately you will have something
and finally have patience... patience pays....
2006-12-01 02:03:17 · answer #9 · answered by Pankaj K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find another man and enjoy as soon his a provide to you and your family lie maintenance some man they came impotent very young age and you can do anything to change I'm thanks god in my age over 50 now I still need sex 2-3-times a week my wife once a week but I can not blame her she works 6days a week and she is getting tired,but this is life every couple I think they have a small or big problem so if you are still young and attractive enjoy out side
2006-12-01 02:09:50 · answer #10 · answered by jashuear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋