You're only married because of the children. Each time you've left, you fail miserably, so you come back because the kids need financial security. You care about your husband, but his touching you makes your skin crawl. You have 10 years left until your kids are adults. How do you handle it? You can't leave, because you've already proven that doesn't work. Your whole family has to believe you're happy. You husband even has to believe it.
2006-12-01 01:48:15 · 14 answers · asked by Boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Our grandparents stayed together for the children. And in most cases, that is the best choice. If you and your husband get along in most areas (other than the bedroom) than you have a fighting chance. I agree with some of the other answers, in turn of getting professional help. Maybe you are depressed? Think back over the years and remind yourself what attracted you to him in the first place. Then think of the things that have changed since then. A counselor can help you with that. Medication might help too. I don't promote being medicated, but for a short time, maybe it's what you need? Think also about what you want for your life. Can your husband provide that? Realistically, would you stay with him even after the kids are grown? What brought you back to him? During your separations, did you ever miss him? Think about those things. Chances are, you are depressed. Talk to your husband and your doctor. Together you can work it out.
I've been married for 12 years, and at times I've wanted to leave. At times I've even been repulsed by him. I looked at the alternatives. And I compared them to what I want out of life. Many times that future dream is what kept me here. I'm glad though, because I cannot imagine a life without him. He makes a darn good income, and that helps me stay home with the kids, but his pay isn't always glorious. Sometimes we even have to borrow money lol. But my life is much better with him in it, than it would be without him. Good luck.
2006-12-01 02:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by kari w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, you cannot make this work and it is so unfair on your husband too. In the end you are going to leave him so why not give him the chance to find someone that will let him touch her with out making her skin crawl. I know the kids are important but this is an excuse why you won't allow yourself to stand on your own 2 feet. I'm sure he will pay child support and you can get a job also. Give your poor husband a chance for some happiness in his life too. Stop using him as your personal bank!!
2006-12-01 09:56:35 · answer #2 · answered by angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what your trying is never going to work you keep doing the SAME thing getting the same results leave not able to make it... go back still unhappy you have to do something different to ever expect a different result. Try to stop the unhealthy focas on $$$ when it comes down to that's a scapegoat you CAN make it without his $$$$$$$. I left a unhappy marriage with a 5 and 7 year old we lost over half our income YES for a few years we gave up a WHOLE LOT even went to living in a one bedroom apartment from a 4 bedroom HOME. Now i'm re married we are all the better off for it. I would never even think of going back to their cheating dad who never paid attention to me or the kids.
2006-12-01 10:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then you are definitely married for the wrong reason. Don't get me wrong, kids are important, but if you are unhappy, they will see it. You won't have to say a word, they will just know.You can leave, just leave and be on you own, stop trying to find a man to make you happy. You can be happy by yourself, it may not be what you want right now, but it may be just what you need. Your kids deserve to have a happy, healthy mom, who is secure in herself. The more you try to fool everyone, the bigger it is gonna come back and bite you in the a$$, especially with your kids. There is no law that says you cannot leave, you are old enough to do what you want. For you and your kids sake, leave and get yourself together. Getting another man will only cause more dilemmas for you.
2006-12-01 09:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain to an extent. My husband is away for a year and I have two little ones and I just want out. But that's a whole other question. As for you, see a therapist. I swear that if you find the right one, you'll be helped. Find something to dive into and put your attention into that. Like the kids, are they into sports? or theater? or modeling? Just sink yourself into it and find someone to talk to. That's the best advice I can give.
2006-12-01 10:07:17 · answer #5 · answered by Tara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to ask is if what making your skin crawl. is it something your husband is doing or is it that you have fallen out of love. my wife went throw that and we found out later that she was depressed and just unhappy because she never ruched any of her golds in life. I end up telling her and showing her that she has. one of her golds was a house and a family and good hubby she got all that another was a go job and she just got one 2 year ago.. now that the depressed is over she see now that she was never really unhappy just depress with life for a while.. if i where you tell your hubby and get help from a Doctor. and see if you are depressed.. good luck..
2006-12-01 10:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
But you did not said what is your husband problem?
Children when they adult they need to see their parents together.
I just suggest that you focus on your family and be a good wife.
FAITHFUL means that you be in your heart! Not in the word and act! That is called 'Cheating'.
It seems you are depressed for some reasons. The best you can do go for Exercise and left your angers go away!
2006-12-01 09:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by Iranian Amigo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks as though you'll be living a lie for the next decade. Tough break but you obviously have seen what the options are and know you're left with what you have right now.
Good luck because you'll need it.
2006-12-01 10:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love him, then he should needs to know. This is no different from a man telling you he loves you just to get your panties off. You should not have to fake it for him and certainly not your family. The kids, family, money, don't want to hurt his feelings; none of these are reasons to be married. If it's possible to save your marriage with love (you want to love him), then ask God to fix it. If not, then set him free to find love somewhere else.
2006-12-01 10:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by mrmann4real 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation. I do believe that it is a situation that happens a lot now a days. Maybe you need to find something on the side to make you happy and keep it very discreet and to yourself. Like the saying goes "it is cheaper to keem'em"
2006-12-01 09:55:52 · answer #10 · answered by Shocker3:16 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋