Question Details: 3 months ago I told my girlfriend I wanted to take some time apart because things were moving fast, and we were getting pretty serious. My girlfriend was very upset, but I insisted and we didnt see each other for a month. When I realized how much I loved her I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me, but after a few weeks she finaly took me back. We have been happy for the past two months, but last week I asked if she had dated anyone while we were apart - I did not. I found out she not only did date but she even slept with someone she knows from the gym and someone from work. The past few days I have been trying not to take it out on her that I am jealous. I know it is my fault and I gave her the freedom, but how do I get rid of my rage without showing it to my girlfriend. I have been asking her all the details of what happened and my girlfriend feels uncomfortable telling me, but I feel I need to know. Is this bad? Please give me advice if yo have any!d
2006-12-01 01:33:40 · 20 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
basically she had no idea if u were coming back into her life or if the relationship was history, so whatever she did get over it, and forgive it, and stop asking for details of what went on, stop thinking about her with someone else, as she is with u now, she loves u, she picked u, don't take it out on her because all this will do is chase her right into the arms of the other man, don't ask for any more details, just hurts u, instead focus on her and u, and the love u have for her. she wasn't married to u, she had no ring on her finger, u weren't engaged, she was basically free to date and do whatever she chose. now that u and her are a couple and together that's all that matters. quit forcing her to tell u things, ofcourse she is unconfortable with it, u will drive her away if your not careful about what u are thinking.
2006-12-02 11:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you have to forgive and forget...even tho she did not do one thing wrong..she had every right...if you sit there and think about detail after detail you will be miserable with your girl...ive been through this believe me i was in your shoes but i am the woman...and i have learned to say screw it i dont care what you did when we were apart i am here now you are here with me and that is all that really matters cuz if you keep on badgering her she is goin to go find another guy to have dont make that mistake Good luck and have a great day and you never know her sleeping with them two people might have helped her make her decision also, she might have realized that there is noone like you and if you really want to win her heart back completely you need to show her the same attention you showed her when yall first met....it is a good thing to go back in time and relive it once in a while and it will make her realize why she fell in love with you in the first place and might just strenghthen your relationship in a lot of aspects!!
2006-12-01 01:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by LUCKYGIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well boy if you wasn't sure on your relation ship with her(not want to go serious) you were the one who ask her to stop seen each other, that in one hand . in the other hand she does n't seen to love you that much when she was going out right away with another person or two, well the problem is not that she went out is that she slept with him. It is both fault. On life there are consequences on your acts you need to learn and grow up on certain things, when you start a relation ship with somebody never go to fast, take your time get to know that person really well, most important you have to learn to have your personal space and give the other person their space too, because it will happen again what happen to you before you will ask again for time and your relationship will not last longer. Just learn to breath and let other breath too. That always help.Good Luck:)
2006-12-01 01:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by mdbrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was single at the time and she should not have to deal with your anger nor you insecurities. You don't want to know the details, you think you do but you don't. Imagine if she actually gave you the blow by blow play of her romps. No you don't want to know! Stop asking. She is not going to feel guilty for having a good time while you were being wishywashy. And I think that is what you want from her. Frankly what it comes down to is this. That month apart has become her past. It has no bearing on her future with you UNLESS you make it an issue. You need to move on, and get over it. Good luck.
2006-12-01 01:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever see that episode of "Friends" - We were on a break!!? She was single for that month because you wanted her to be - you wanted that time apart. It wasn't her choice to go out and be with someone else, you opened that door of opportunity for her. She probably just ran to the first guy who gave her positive feedback and made her feel good about herself when you weren't sure if she was the one for you. The fact is that she came back to you after she had been with these other guys, she realized how lucky she was to have you and you should realize how lucky you are that she came back to you after you wanted a break from her. Just chalk it up and move on with a happy healthy open relationship.
As for the details - spare yourself. You might think you want to know, but you don't. It will make you sick and will be forever ingrained in your memory.
2006-12-01 01:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey loser dude, ya only live once. You broke it off with her. What's she supposed to do, just sit around and wait on you? She didn't even know if you'd come back or not. I'd say you're lucky she even gave you a second chance. Try that bulls**t again and I bet she doesn't give you a third chance. Drop it dude, or she'll be gone in a heartbeat. Self centered jerk! Guess what, the world doesn't revolve around you.
2006-12-01 02:38:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you got exactly what you asked for. Your space. You do not need to know the details. Think of it like all the stuff you guys did before you met. None of your business. If she wanted those other guys she wouldn't have taken you back. SHe was prob just mad that you sort of rejected her and filled in the space. Think of it as now she knows she doesn't want them and use it as reassurance. She could have stayed single but she chose you. Good luck.
2006-12-01 01:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by prettyfroggy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You broke up with her... she tried to cope and move on with her life... don't be jealous. It is something she did when the two of you weren't together and it can't be turned around. Had she done it while dating you, that would be a different story.
Now that you have her back, I hope the two of you can move past that set back and have a very bright future. Good luck to you!
2006-12-01 01:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by abgurlie2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got everything you wanted, You wanted the time apart and you got it. You can not fault her for anything she did while you where taking your time to yourself. She was hurt and probably was trying to find someone to fill her pain while you where taking your time away from her. Can you blame her?
You honestly have no right to be jealous now over what has happened when you asked for the time apart.
2006-12-01 01:37:40 · answer #9 · answered by Issym 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot let it go, then you need not be in the relationship. In order to make a relationship work you have to forgive and forget. Not that there is anything to forgive when you were the one to break up with her. What she did well the two of you were apart is quite frankly none of your business!
2006-12-01 01:37:36 · answer #10 · answered by Nana T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋