Please guys help me about this isue. I had a girl friend who was found to be desperate with were to stay, as she was my girl friend i decided to take her to my house, but as you know how things are we fallen in real love. Later on her relatives head about it and came to see where she was staying. I started planing to visit them so that we discucss about it,unfortunately before my plan came to fufilled the girl answered the Lords call. Now after the funeral her relatives charged me $1000 for helping their daughter who was in the cold as if iam the one who caused it to happen like that. At the hospital, the doctors diogonised the cause to high BP. In my tradition before i start going with another woman, they must say something to nutrurise the spirits of the dead of which they have not done, they want me to pay the money first, but i dont have that money. What do i do before i change my mind and go against the stupid traditons?
2006-12-01 00:59:24 · 4 answers · asked by KING TOOTER 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like your generosity and kind heartiness are being taken advantage of. Please take a look at something from a different point of view. Your friend was her own person who possessed her own soul. Would she ever do anything to cause you pain or inhibit your future? I do not think so. It sounds to me that her family is trying to take advantage of you and hold your future at ransom. What I would do is to make a realistic donation, perhaps $50 or $100 to an organization that helps those with high BP. That way you would be helping others suffering from the same affliction that took her from you.
Your traditions may have merits, but I truly believe it is not to take advantage of someone, like they seem to be doing to you. If they abuse the traditions, then they are not the true believers and followers. There are good and bad people in all religions and cultures, and no one should use these for their own personal gain. If you still feel committed to your traditions, why do you not speak to someone who is a leader in your faith or culture to explain the situation to him or her. Perhaps an alternate resolution can be found?
2006-12-03 05:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by brucenjacobs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You helped her in life, more than her family, it sounds like. It is not fair for them to put this on your shoulders. It sounds like they are taking advantage of you because they know you loved her and have a good heart. Tell them in no uncertain terms that even though you love their daughter very much, you do not have that kind of money, and it is not right for them to hurt their daughters spirit now that she is dead just to get you to pay. If THEY have love for her, they should do the right thing for her spirit, money or no money. They seem greedy for money, and you should tell them to think of their daughter, not their own pockets.
2006-12-01 09:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by ruthie a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$1000 is not much to free your soul!
Traditions are not stupid- why?! It is who you are!
Each of us have a "hardwired" belief system.
Take the time to mourn the loss each month with a $100 payment to them or whom ever. Make the checks out before hand, in the memo, put her name and [a rest in peace or something of a blessing nature] put them in blue envelopes and mail them each month on time. That process will literally be sending away the "Blues" and you will heal.
This experience is a lesson of life, not money.
No matter OUR age, we are receiving lessons that will be repeated until learned. SO take heed. What did you learn? Honestly outside of the anger and frustration>
Best wishes.
2006-12-01 09:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is is fair? Who ever told you life was fair. Many things are not fair. Fairness and justice comes from God. This world is full of unfairness. I suggest you take your troubles to God in prayer.
2006-12-01 09:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by Shayna 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋