I got so drunk last night - I just went mental. You could call it alcohol induced psychosis. Anyway - cut a long story short, I stormed out on my husband, went out, and cheated on him. I love him so much - I can't believe I did that. I never ever want to hurt him, and I don't want to be with anyone else except him - for the rest of my life. The phone has been cut off today (not paid the bill) and I can't call him - he is at work. I feel terrible. I hate myself. What can I do???
2006-12-01 00:59:04 · 74 answers · asked by Madam Rosmerta 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop drinking as from now.... Dont tell your husband what you done, but instead make him the happiest man alive. In other words make it up to him big time and never drink again..
If you tell him you run the risk of destroying the marriage and all will be lost.
Forget what has happened and make amends for your actions.
Dont ever drink again as this was the root cause of this problem/scenario...
2006-12-01 22:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by The Doctor 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Pray for forgiveness and spend the rest of your life trying to make it up to your husband. Also, quit drinking - it obviously doesn't work with your chemistry. Alcohol enhances a mood - good or bad, but YOU are responsible for the behavior. NOT the alcohol. Starting out with "I got so drunk last night..." is an excuse not an explanation. The only person who cares what made you do it is you, however the outcome has the potential to ruin another person's life. Nobody deserves that. Instead of worrying how you feel, work on trying to fix the problem. You should focus more on how your husband would feel about it. He's the "injured party" - not you.
2006-12-01 01:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all does he know? If he does put yourself in his shoes only for about 5 seconds? How does it feel? There was a reason you cheated(and DRINKING WAS NOT WHY!!) I think you need to take time and work on yourself and figure that out , then sit down talk to your husband and be TOTALLY HONEST with him, maybe it was something he has done or made you feel a certain way thats why you cheated, sometimes it can help a relationship because it will bring things out that no one knew was a problem and you cant work on and fix what you dont
Well Best Of Luck to you I hope things work out well for both of you,take care
2006-12-01 01:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by chase 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoah! Glad your not my missus...
How did you pick someone up so quickly?
Was this man already on your radar?
Don't regret... just try to forget it. ... and next time come down my pub.
Actually... I've now had time to think about this ... and well... I honestly believe that you intended to do this... not neccessarily on this occasion... but on some occasion...as a "punishment"... a sort of "that'll show him"... and I reckon you also wondered what it would be like...
But now you just feel guilty... I guess you didn't use protection and are now worried about sti's and pregnancy... well it serves you right....
Anyway... was the sex any good?
Did you come?
Are you ashamed because the sex was better than with your husband?
Are you affraid that you might do it again now that you've got a taste for it?
What did you do?
Did you act the whore?
Was it someone you and your husband know?
Did you deep throat him or take it up the arsse?
Are you worried that because you lapsed so easily that your husband might have done this also?
You are obviously some nasty spoilt sort ofbiatch that likes to get her own way... well now... well done because you've just destroyed your marriage.
During an arguement at sometime in the future you will either do this again or tell your hubby what you did! If not that, then guil will get the better of you and you will tell him.
The end result will be the same... end of relationship...
Then you will end up single again and sleeping around with loads of blokes trying to recapture what you so easily and carelessly threw away....
You wont find it though because we men don't like to commit to sluts... we use them and then dump them!
I can see your future questions..... " I recently went out with this really nice man... we got ever so close and intimate, but now he wont return my calls... what should I do?"
You sad sad sad pathetic whore.
2006-12-01 01:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by jonti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there was a reason u cheated. What it is, only u know...but if he doesn't knwo what exactly happened last night, keep it that way. You went out for a couple drinks....that's it. Send him an email apologizing. If not, prepare a great dinner and wait til he gets home, and apologize for storming out and get drunk and whatnot. If he does know, just tell him the truth.....I knwo the truth hurts, but it's the best way. Don't give him the line that it was the alcohol or something like that, cuz that's just crap, just be honest. Good luck! I hope everything works out for u!
2006-12-01 01:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you screwed up big time.
You need to tell him all about it and beg for his forgiveness. It won't come right away. It will take a very long time and he may never fully trust you again. But if you truly love him you will stay patient and keep working to gain his trust back.
You can't blame the alcohol for your infidelity. You need to check into alcoholics anonymous. If you do this it might demonstrate to your husband your regret. Once you get through the program and you and your husband finish mending your marriage you will have much deeper and more meaningful relationship than you do now.
2006-12-01 01:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn the details eh? It doesn't matter you've said enough. Using alcohol as excuse is complete b.s. and you women REALLY need to stop doing that. OWN what you did. You already had a plan in motion or a desire and now you want to blame the alcohol?!? That's the cowardly way out.
Why aren't you at work? You need to pay your bill spend all day getting your house in order, buy him flowers, make him dinner and beg for forgiveness and find a way to redeem yourself. Even if it requires him screwing a woman in front of you to get even. Ok maybe that's a little extreme but you need to be willing to explore all possibilities. You guys need to talk and figure out where you are going why you let things get the way they did. You need to apologize, promise it will never happen again and then you both need to go in for counseling. Marriage counseling and your own counseling for your drinking problem and anger management issues. This is going to take some time possibly YEARS for him to recover.
I don't know if you drink often but whatever the case you need to manage that much better then you did.
In the mean time you BETTER find a way to reach him and leave him a message today unless you want a psychotic steamroller at your doorstep at the end of the day because you let him stew in it all day. Or worse he decides to finally take that offer from that flirtacious woman he sees everyday cuz you finally made him go nuclear. Whatever you do. Do it FAST.
2006-12-01 01:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by Cybrocupid 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sign yourself and him up for relationship councelling
http://www.relate.org.uk/
and then get off the drink. I know in Britain it is hard to be a non-drinker, but you are going to have to do it if that is how you behave when you are drunk. You are going to have to stay sober and work very hard to get things back the way they were.
Depending on your husband, you might try going to meet him after work so you can talk in a semi-public place like a restaurant so he can't do anything too awful, or you can leave him a letter in the house explaining and go away for the weekend so that he has time to calm down and decide if he wants you back.
You need to tell him what you need from him and what you are going to do to make the relationship work and what you are never going to do again. Then you need to ask him what he wants and needs from you. Listen to his answers.
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-01 03:05:11 · answer #8 · answered by SmartBlonde 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy you definently have a lot of explaining to do. You need to vow NEVER to drink again. That is just the begining of your many problems that you have created for yourself. I think that your best bet is to wait until your husband comes home from work and then sit him down and tell him the complete truth. Make sure to tell him how horrible you feel and how much you love him. Not saying this will make him forgive you but at least you are being fair to him.
2006-12-01 01:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him at work and tell him your sorry... or just wait for him to get home.. I'm sorry to say though, there is no excuse for cheating..You have to ask yourself "what are you going to do the next time you get pissed, cheat again?" This is something you will have to think about.. If you think you will do it again, you might as well get divorced, because your marriage wont work if you continue to cheat.. Be honest with yourself and your husband, and don't ever put yourself in the position of going out to drink when your pissed.... It obviously makes things worse.. Good Luck!
2006-12-01 01:05:13 · answer #10 · answered by Indymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you did not use protection then you must get a health screen at a clinic. You don't want to pass anything on do you? I think you should both have time to reflect and to sit down and have a frank discussion about why this happened, why you to so drunk and the problems in your marriage. It is up to you if you tell him what happened. It is not fair to him to possibly pass on an infection but if you tell him it will probably damage your relationship. I think the only way forward is to have a proper talk. Tell him how you feel about him but you must try to resolve your problems then perhaps you can start a fresh with each other. x
2006-12-01 01:04:31 · answer #11 · answered by bluegizmored 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋