I have just came out of a long term serious relationship with my (same sex) partner. After much crying I have found myself back on the scene again. However, most women dont even think I am gay, my whole look, everything about me screams straight person. I know its a horrible cliche but I wear high heels and dresses and have long hair, and just get ignored, girls are always telling me i look way to girly, its starting to make me think they are right. I love punky different looking people as partners. I once asked my friends why the people I am attracted to never look twice at me and they answered with brutal honestly that I need to 'dyke it up'. Im so scared of changing the way I look to something completely different incase it doesnt suit my personality, but I cannot carry on going un noticed by everyone im attracted to. What should I do?
2006-12-01 00:52:34 · 18 answers · asked by Sophie 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Think about changing one thing just to see how it feels, it needn't be something drastic like shaving your head.
2006-12-01 00:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell you what... you should join the army. Here regulations will change your appeareance and you will see it as part of your job and you will feel a little patriotic. I've been in for 3 years now and right now I'm in Iraq. I've change a lot. I guess I can say I was like you a little girlie but here you will also develop an actor career and trust me you will have fun and will meet a bunch of different people. think about. BTW I'm not a recruiter...LOL!!!
2006-12-01 09:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat and have been told the same thing. I am fem and have been told that I need to get a rougher edge / butcher - so I can attract more women. I decided a long time ago, I am who I am and I refuse to pretend to be someone I am not. I truly believe your "soulmate" will love you for who you are. Hang in there and don't let people change you...
2006-12-01 09:12:42 · answer #3 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I really don't think you should change the way you look. I am a lesbian and am dykish in femish! met my girl friend 3years ago in a straight bar.
She is so feminine, heals, skirts, little tops etc. Looking at us as a couple people realise we are lesbians but we are!
Butch girls really don't do it for me! I go for the feminine type. a lot of lesbians like feminine girls.
guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't change the way you look because you wont feel like yourself and you will never meet who you want.
You should maybe think about your pulling strategies,
P.s I'm a fem and have pulled loads of fem girls. Its all to do with the way you put yourself across.
2006-12-01 13:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by lwag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love hurts, same sex relations are normal, the abuse of it is that hurts, when you surely knows that the other partner don't belong to you sexually, but as a good friend you can make more friends than you ever imagine, no matter what their sex is, as you shell be loved by everyone.
2006-12-01 09:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by Walt. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you need to step back and think.
Be your self, wear what you like to wear, don't try and change yourself for someone else, you will never be totally happy.
The right person will come along one day, and always when your not expecting it.
Chill and don't rush these things, someone will turn up who likes the way you look and the way you are.
Be yourself.
2006-12-01 09:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by simon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself, but do some advertising, like putting a rainbow flag bumper sticker on your car. You shouldn't have to change yourself in order to find a partner.
2006-12-01 09:10:27 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try simple things, perhaps adding some black leather to your wardrobe....Heck, if nothing more than wearing a "Pride" button or set of "Freedom Rings" outside your blouse, there are ways to change your look without becoming another stereotype.
2006-12-01 08:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't change what you are, go talk to the person you like and see if she likes you.Best of luck to you and hope you find true love somehow, somewhere.
2006-12-02 04:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by niohogr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't beat your self up.
Theres nothing I like better than a bit of fem! and I'm not exactly butch myself!
2006-12-01 13:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by nevergrowup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋