2006-12-01 00:20:23 · 18 answers · asked by lady N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if your not in love with him then you arent in love with him... there is no "staying" in love with someone, you shouldnt have to force love
2006-12-01 00:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by Jesus Built My Hotrod 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is a verb and not a feeling. The fuzzy warm feeling when you first met was infatuation. If you want to improve your relationship then remember how you acted when you first met? You would get yourself ready for him, always act polite, smell good etc. Do those things. That will help.
Relationships can easily get out of balance. Think of a scale- the old style like lady justice would hold. Everytime you say something kind to your husband or he says something kind or encouraging to you then the scale is tipped in favor of your relationship. That is how things are when you first meet, there are no bad memories, you both do your best to impress and the scale tips in favor of "love". As time goes on , if you are not mindful you will say or do some hurtful things, he will say or do some hurtful things and soon the relationship is off balance in favor of a split. If people in relationships would try to do and say positive things, cultivate positive memories their relationships would most likely not get out of balance.
Often when someone has more bad memories or bad experiences than good in a relationship they seek to split and find someone new ...Why? Because they have no bad memories or experiences with that person.
What is it that you need from your husband that you feel he is not giving you ? Maybe you should tell him! What do you think some of his disappointments might be in the relationship? Ask him! Two people often have different love languages and they misuderstand eachother because they speak different love languages.
For example you may feel most loved by "acts of service" when your husband brings you a cup of coffee, rubs your feet , helps around the house etc. His love language might be totally different , He may feel most loved when he hears you say "I love you." So what does he do ? He tells you "I love you " because that is his love language when you may be thinking well if you loved me then you would take out the trash. There is a great book on this principle entitled "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/105-8877656-4398846?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=love+languages
I hope this helps, I wish you well!
Mr. G.
2006-12-01 00:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. G. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy, but you have to create the foundation prior to tieing the knot. If you have kids, make sure you take time out for you and him alone. The two of you are the reason the kids came along. Communicate all the time. Don't keep secrets. Make he feel secure and that he is your best friend. Be a good listener and don't interrupt. Keep the sex life exciting. Talk about what you like and your turn on's. Try new things and don't be so quick to say no.
2006-12-01 00:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The secret is being a good, nuturing wife that will really take care of all the needs of a good husband.Be ing honest ,open and have a straight forward voice in everything. Faithfullness helps...giving everything as well being on your gaurd also not for anything bad. Do whats good in your heart for what you think is good for you an your husband.......
2006-12-01 00:30:21 · answer #4 · answered by featherdude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a 50-50 deal. Sounds like your husband hasn't showered you with affection. If there's any love left for him on your part, talk to him about this and see if you can go for counseling. Good luck.
2006-12-01 00:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read books.
Love is a choice, and you have to choose to be in love with your husband. What made you be in love with him when you first met him? thats how you stay in love!
2006-12-01 00:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make an effort to appreciate the things he does for you, you may not realise how necessary he is to your life. It's easy to take good things for granted, I'm grateful everyday to have such a wonderful husband.
2006-12-01 00:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by Velouria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of question is that??? That sounds like a job.
If you love someone, you dont have those questions floating around. You know in your heart that you love him. Stay in love.....I just don't get it.
Eventually, you don't know what love really is.
2006-12-01 01:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by c_my_blueeyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must not be in love with him, or you wouldn't be asking us this question. That's awful. I hope my future husband doesn't ask someone how he can remain in love with me. Geez. If you marry someone, you are with them til death do you part. You should feel fortunate to be with someone that loves you.
2006-12-01 00:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force yourself. Love comes from within - it's not just a frame of mind. The fact that you have to ask, says alot. Obviously, you've lost that loving feeling...............
2006-12-01 00:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask then I know that you are not and there is nothing I can say to make you rekindle your flame.My Question to you is what happen to make you feel this way?
2006-12-01 01:09:29 · answer #11 · answered by mrsdg01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋