2006-12-01 00:08:53 · 9 answers · asked by lady F 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
negatively of course. i've worked for years to get rid of the "tapes" in my head. and i worked super hard not to do that to my kids. i think i would've preferred a beating to hearing some of the horrid things my step-dad said to me when i was a kid. oh yeah, he did beat me. i almost forgot about that.
anyway, once we become adults, we have to stop blaming and learn how to overcome and nurture ourselves...we can record new "tapes" to live by. living well is the best revenge!!
2006-12-01 00:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by pirate00girl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom had very poor verbal and social skills, she never really grew up herself, I was lucky because I chose to build on all the negative she fed me and when I was old enough to do something about it, I got help and I turned all that around, slowly but I did. That is why I make it my business to be the total opposite for my kids, I do research and I have studied Psychology in College...but there are simple steps to being a decent parent. First step is, knowing yourself and asking yourself what you really want out of life. There are people in this world who should not have children. Common sense would tell you that negativity breeds more negativity and that children who are developing, especially need all the encouragement and love from a parent. They look to you for guidance and support and it is very scary when that is not available to them. Saying negative things to your children can only lead to poor self-esteem and no self-discipline. Children need structure and the only ones who can teach them that at an early age is the parents. I am in no means an expert, I go by my instincts and what I have learned throughout my adult years, plus I have a lot of patience (that is key), and the desire to change all the negative that was taught to me.
2006-12-01 01:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by earthstarlatin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Criticizing a child is the worst thing a parent can do. You correct a child through positivism, concentrating on the things he is good at (hoping there are any :)).
We were presented an experiment in faculty. 2 groups of students were each given a mouse. The 2 mice were equally "intelligent", but the first group was told that their mouse was extremely intelligent and the second group was told their mouse was very dunce. Each of the mice had to go through a maze. While, the first group was very excited about it and kept encouraging the mouse, leading him a little bit, until the finish line, the second group laughed at their mouse and kept saying: "Look how stupid he is. He can't find his way. He'll die there." Needless to say the second mouse did not make it to the finish line. Now I let you draw the conclusions.
2006-12-01 00:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by forever 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at yourself. Do a self evaluation and determine that you are not the negative things that your parents abusively said.
You are intelligent, you do have a place of your own to live, you are able to put food on the table. Things like that.
People in today's world over look that stuff as being nothing, but look around, there are people in the ghettos and in the streets who aren't even doing that much. There are thousands of others strung out on drugs, and even more committing crimes.
You are a good person be proud and know that the things your parents said were not true.
Know yourself and be proud!
Hope this helps
:O)
Jerry
2006-12-01 01:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
my parents always does that to me, everytime i fail to what she wants me to do. and i hate it everytime she does that because it doubled the pain that im feeling. i don't want her to be like that, because she is my mom. my mom always said that i don't have respect to her, but come to think of it, all the berating words that she addresses to me is just the same as having no respect.. still she's repeating the fault of having "no respect"....
everytime she scolds me, i always want to shout as loud as i can!!!!! but i just can't because even if she's like that, she is still my mom.
when my mom scolds me, i am not allowed to talk, so it is basically stored(the negative feeling against her) in my memory. and i even have a thought in mind that if il have a work and can stand on my own, having a good work, i would turn to her and say all those bad things that she told about me before.. actually im not sure if i can really do this, because when that time comes, my mom is very old and i don't think she can bear my words against her, i might make her life end very soon after those words will come out to my mouth.....
i still love my mom,, only that, she really misses something about life! she forgot to thank God what she have and be contented from what God had given to her.
2006-12-01 00:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
all those words..haunted me for years...
and in result i always thrived to be the best in their eyes...
well in this process i didnt even realize when i became the best in the whole family....
they sure worked their way for good...
now when i look back ..all those things said and done by my parents was to raise me into a better individual, learn to be able to share, and accept when life gives you a "no" for what we ask for...
that somehow also made me realize that i can have whatever i want if i am determined, but at the same time was a training to understand the difference between i can have and what i need to have...
2006-12-01 03:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by prakamyaa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was fine as a child then i grew up had two children (one when i was 16 the other when i was age 22), my sister did well at school and it was always rubbed in my face, and i once heard my mum say to my sister "just dont turn out like she did", that hurt me very much, i will never forget it! i might have had my first child young but im still with the same man, we have a lovely home, we love each other very much, we care and love our children and we both work in jobs we like, so compared to my sister (who now steals for a living), im very proud of what i have achieved, and finally i can rub her face in it for a change (i hate her anyway)!
2006-12-01 00:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by button moon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i never heard negetive things my dad might have gotten mad a few times but he never hits me or my sister he wouuld never evn dream about he loves us to much he told us that. My mom is the same exact way except she doesnt scream as much.
2006-12-01 00:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by *~Miley Cyrus fan*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your worthless never amount to shlt stuff?
2006-12-01 00:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋