I am 19 and pregnant. We were engaged b4 we found out and still happily together. What should I expect along the way?? Is labor as bad as every1 says?? That's what scares me and he's like everything will be ok. Will life ever be the same for me again?? Will he still get to live alittle?? Is it wrong to be afraid of childbirth cuz that's how my bff died??
I'm a vegetarian and 5'1 and like 100lbs. Will I ever get my gymnastics/surfing/lax/snoboar... tonedbody back??
Will he eventually become worried??If so when??
2006-12-01 00:03:48 · 6 answers · asked by Amabell 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
ok, first off all, just because you are woried about how he will eventually handle the pregnancy and being a father doesn't mean you don't know him. That is not what you need right now, to be criticized, i'm guessing your getting enough of that from family and even friends. It's a legit fear. As mothers we often are afraid of how he man will ultimatly react to children, even if we know he will be a great dad. But i know your fears. will he resent you for "taking away his life"? Probably at some point yes. Just as at some point you will resent him for the same. But that will be a desperate point, a 3 am thought when you haven't slept in 2 days and just received a phone call earlier in the day from a friend telling you about a killer party you couldn't go to because the baby had colic and you were home comforting her...it happens to the best of us. I know older mothers- and fathers -who have had the same thoughts. But then everything will calm down, the baby will stop crying all the time, start sleeping through the night and you'll look at her and then look at your fiance and not be able to imagine life any other way. The same goes for him. If he loved you enough to ask you to marry him even before the baby was an issue, then chances are he'll love this baby and you enough to stick through those hellish nights.
Get him involved from the get go. Take him to dr appointments, take a birthing class together, research pregnancy and parenting technigues and concerns together, decide on the name together. The more involved he is, the more he will feel he is a part of something and less like something is happening TO him. However, you are both very young (i assume he is your age) and that does stack the odds against you. Both with being succesful parents and relationship wise. To put yourself ahead of those odds i strongly suggest parenting classes together as well. Not that your going to be a bad parent because your only 19, (the best mother i have ever known is my sister in law and she was pregnant at 18. she married my brother a year and a half later and 10 years after? they are still together, its not been easy for them, i wont lie, but kids and relationships NEVER are!) but you are less experienced than, say, a 30 year old mother. And i strongly beleive every parent should have to take one before having children.
Will your life ever be the same? NO! It wont be about you anymore, it's going to be about the baby. Money will be tight, you wont be able to go out all the time, so forth and so forth, but you know that already, don't you? The important thing is that you help each other find "you" time. both alone and together. Say for example, he likes to play basketball with his friends. Trade time with the baby. "ok, you go play basketball for 3 hours wendesday night, and i'll go to gymnastics class thursday night. And Friday night when the baby is (finnaly!) in bed, we'll watch that movie we want to see together". It can be done, it just takes patience, understanding and compromise.
Okay, labor....it's fine to be scared of it, whatever your reasons. Every woman is, do not let anyone lie to you! But realistically, very few woman die in childbirth anymore. Just make sure you are recieving good prenatel care. The experience is diferent for every woman and even diferent for the same woman on consecutive births. I don't know how bad it will be for you...but the good news is that it does tend to be easier the more fit and younger you are. Try not to stress over that issue TOO much.
As for your body. The bad news is you will have something that wont go away to prove you had a baby. Personally, i lost all my weight (and i gained 55 pounds!) but i had to have a c-section, so i have a scar, i breast fed- a great choice to save money, it can save up to 1,000 dollars if you do it for the full year!- so my breasts aren't quite as perky, and i have a few stretch marks on my rear. You say you are in shape, well, i don't think your doctor is going to want you to be doing any gymnastics or surfing, but they reccomend that if you were active or worked out before your pregnacy you do not stop it during. Prenatel yoga, gentle walks, some mild arobic excersises, can all be beneficial during pregnancy, just talk to your doctor about what is right for you. Also, yes, you need a higher caloric intake, but this does not mean you have to gorge yourself. Still stay away from fatty, high calorie foods. Get your extra calories from positive foods, proteins...oh wait your a vegetarian....ok, no chicken for you! then just make sure your eating your nuts and tofu or whatever you normally eat for protein, but higher amounts of it . , healthy carbs like as whole grains , and make sure you follow the rest off the guidelines for pregnant women (extra calcium, folic acid, etc.). The good news is also that since you are in shape and most likely eat healthy already, you probably wont gain tooo much extra weight and even if you do your body will indead bounce back gracefully, although you shouldn't expect it to be completely perfect anymore.
If you do not want as many stretch marks, lotions that people claim to take them away are only helpful to some extent. BUt battling them before they start can prevent them maybe not ALLTOGETHER, but to at least a good amount. Don't rely on vitamen e in creams, get a good amount of vitamen e in your diet as well, this helps with your skins elasticity and will decrease your suscepitbility to them.
The important thing is to try and relax, neither you, your boyfriend or the baby need the extra stress right now. The more you stress the more he will stress. The only thing you can do is try and prepare yourselfs as much as possible, and take the rest of the time you have alone together and use it to strengthen your relationship even further. Good luck.
2006-12-01 00:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Expect morning sickness, cravings, moodiness, fatigue, and weight gain.
Yes, labor is bad, but you can always get an epidural. (I had 3 natural and 1 with an epidural.)
No, life wont be the same. I remember having my first child and the first night in the hospital I was so scared to death that now I had the WHOLE OTHER person to worry about. But, you will get used to it and it is great.
Yes, you BOTH will still get to live a little. Grandparents love to babysit. Most of them beg to do it.
No, it's not wrong to be scared of childbirth. Most first time moms are. I would think you are strange if you werent scared. Everything should be fine. You are healthy, and young.
Yes, you can get your body back, but it will take some work, and it will never be EXACTLY how it was, but you can get it pretty darn close. One of the best things I did to loose weight was just to breastfeed my baby. It is great for the baby, and great for you.
Yes, he will eventually become worried. It usually happens about the time you tell him you need to go to the hospital.lol. If you really want to see some anxiety.....wait till then...
Good luck with your pregnancy and....CONGRATS!!
Oh, by the way, dont worry so much!!! Its not good for you or your baby.
2006-12-01 00:23:04 · answer #2 · answered by lonijean 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK i answered 1 of your other Q's but its getting silly now.
its normal to worry and panic but if this is how you are being with him YOU may end up pushing this poor man away not the baby.
he seems happy to be having a child with you. you have been together along time and should know him well enough to trust him.
i can see why you are nervous about the birth but like you have been told already the doctors do everything they Can so mothers do not die in child birth sadly it happens but it is very rare.
calm down be happy and enjoy your pregnancy, you have a good man dont push him away enjoy it together
x x x x
2006-12-01 00:28:56 · answer #3 · answered by mum_2_many 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why do people waste other people's time with questions?. i thought you were genuine when i answered your last question but then i checked your others, how can u be still at school when your 19 pregnant engaged with a house of your own????....and your b/f cheats stop being so ridiculous
2006-12-01 00:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by rachie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks like you're more concerned about getting your teeny tiny little body back than you are about your baby. And to answer just one of your questions, no, your life will never be the same. And stop worrying about how your boyfriend feels about it. That should have been something you took into consideration before you had unprotected sex with him. Duh......
2006-12-01 00:07:29 · answer #5 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Don't know him. You obviously don't either. So, why did you pick him to be the father of your children???? sigh....
2006-12-01 00:07:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋