My daughter and stepdaughter neglected to do the dishes last night. They were not reminded because they have had the same chore schedule for months and we feel that they should know by now. So my husband and I cleaned the kitchen and decided that they would be grounded from computer, TV, and phone. Problem is he only wants to ground them for Friday and I think it should be for the weekend. I think it really needs to let them know that we mean business. What do you think?
2006-11-30 23:25:00 · 19 answers · asked by atlgirl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
We have been battling with them for a while. At first punishments were light but they still are not doing what they are expected to do. It is getting old. They are not given that many chores to do. They only have to do the dishes 2 nights a week and dust vacuum and clean their rooms and downstairs area. They also have to wash their own clothes. We do not punish them for not doing their laundry, they seem to do this okay because they do not want to wear dirty clothes.
2006-11-30 23:45:42 · update #1
I think that a weekend is a perfectly acceptable amount of time to be grounded. If they are only asked to do the dishes 2 times a week then a 3-4 day grounding is good.
My suggestion is this, make a missed chore/consequence list. This would tell them what the punishment it for each missed chore and stick to it. Use it for a month and see how it works. If the punishments need to be changed after that month then make a new list. You could even involve the girls in this process by letting them help you decide the punishment on the first chart, just remember that you have the final say.
2006-12-01 03:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were they told the consequences before their failure to do the clean up? If so was it for one day or the weekend?
No TV or games is appropriate punishment for this failure.
I would push for the weekend length only if they had been grounded for a day before. If they are grounded from the TV & games and again fail, it goes for the whole weekend.
You will show them that you mean business by following through with the punishment rather than just talking about it.
I certainly applaud your plan!
2006-12-01 07:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by jpbofohio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is right to punish them.
But do think you should pre-warn them that if they don't do their chores a certain outcome will result. This gives them the chance to actually know what's going to happen, and to also be prepared for the punishment if it comes.
I think 1 night for the first punishment is enough, with a clear warning to them that if it happens again, next time it will be for a weekend,and a whole week if it happens again after that.
I would also say that they need to earn their privileges back again, so they need to do 2 nights of chores without moaning in order to see TV again, for example
2006-12-01 07:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Sally E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my family, we joke about the Summer of the Dishes. My older twin brothers ended up doing dishes all summer long. We would rotate dish night, boys and girls. My sister and I would do them one night, then my brothers had it the next. Only, they didn't get them done at night, so they had to finish them in the morning. By having to do them in the morning, breakfast dishes were added. This would drag on and on for several days until my dad would get so frustrated with it that he would help them. My sister and I would do the next night, then it would start all over again. Anyway, this was the only chore we were asked to do besides keeping our bedroom clean. They were 10 and it was way before dishwashers.
I know it is frustrating to you to have a messy kitchen, but if they don't finish it, leave it for them for the next night. Or, get them up early the next morning to get it done before school starts. If you continue to finish it for them, they know that they don't have to do a good job. It is also a more lasting lesson if they have to do 2 night's worth of dishes rather than just one. Taking something away feels a little disconnected from the problem.
2006-12-01 10:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by momof3cuties 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you Friday is not enough at this point.
Time to get tough. All weekend , then if missed chores again 1 week and so forth. Good luck as I am battling the messy room queen. So I understand what ur going thru.
Morgaine
2006-12-01 11:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to give them a warning before punishing them.
I would say since it is the first time without reminders you need to warn them...
We will not remind you to do your chores anymore you need to remember. This first time should teach them its okay to make a mistake.
Next time they should get grounded start out with a day. IF they do it again maybe two days.
2006-12-01 08:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that in order for them to realize that you mean business, you have to punish them for the weekend.. OR.. if there is something really important coming up, don't let them do it. Is there a Christmas Dance that they really want to go to? A school event that they just can't miss?? If you don't want to take on the responsibility of enforcing their punishment for an entire weekend.. take something away from them that you know they are really looking forward too. That's what my mother used to do.. and she didn't have to do it much.. let me tell ya.
2006-12-01 07:59:27 · answer #7 · answered by Imani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are these children?????
The amount of time they are punished ( in my opinion ) does have something to do with age. If they are 9, 10 one day but if they are 15, 16 definitely the whole weekend.
2006-12-01 08:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a big believer in the grounding thing. I don't like being parental jailer and don't feel in the long run it does any better than jailing adults.
I would give ONE warning. The next time would be an automatic paddling--no questions, no excuses.
This is not just theory. It works very well--memories are greatly improved:)
2006-12-02 19:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep them on punishment all weekend. But I would include into punishment no visitors and going places (like out to eat or going to the mall). Kids need to learn at an early age.
2006-12-02 22:18:09 · answer #10 · answered by christih_99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋