when a family member tells lies about you and turns your brothers and sisters against you and sends you vulgar text messages, what would you do?....sadly this is my mother. other half sais my whole family is mad, which is true, but should i try and speak to them or should have nothing more to do with all of them? i feel that at the end of the day these people are my family, but also i think because my brothers and sisters are just as mad as my mother to believe her, i cant be bothered anymore. what do you think?
2006-11-30 23:10:30 · 33 answers · asked by loxie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
A long period of silence I would suggest.
xxB
2006-11-30 23:12:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything as they expect you to come out and try to justify your side of the story. If what was said is relly bad, just act maturely and forget about it for the time being and wait for a family reunion, even if this takes longer than you expect. Your brothers and sisters, of course, will believe your mother, but for a mother to bring conflict within the family is quite a mystery to me.
2006-11-30 23:24:06 · answer #2 · answered by marizani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more energy you spend to try to understand them and have a good relationship, the more you become similar to them..
Just move appart (as far as possible), do not answer, keep silent... and keep in your mind the good but without forgetting that you are choosing a better life...
I agree, they have some kind of mental disorder, i am sorry to tell you. Do not let them hurt you any more. There is nothing you can do to change them. Let them go.....you belong to there no more.
And there is a lot you can do to build a new and better family for your future, somewhere else.
2006-11-30 23:23:33 · answer #3 · answered by yours for ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem years ago but it was my sister in law who did the stirring, she turned my brothers and sister against me - thankfully I made peace with my mum before she died. I tried and tried to make my family see the truth but sadly it didn't work. Honey, the best thing to do is forget them and get on with your own life - you obviously have a loving partner and he's your family now. If you dwell on it they will make you a bitter person - believe me I know. Since my mum died I haven't heard a thing from my family - its as though I don't exist. I did suffer badly at first but I have now reached the conclusion that its their loss and not mine. I have a loving husband and family of my own - they will need me long before I ever need them. Good luck love xx
2006-11-30 23:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are truly lies and your mom is nuts, then it is a toxic relationship that you should divorce yourself from. You will have to "love mom from a distance," a long distance... Just because people are family doesn't mean you have to stick around and let them screw your life up. The Bible says God will bring you new mothers, new fathers, new siblings," people to play those roles for you without being blood relatives. Your brothers and sisters may grow up normally eventually and you may end up having decent relationships with some of them later on.
You can forgive them, and you SHOULD forgive them for your own peace of mind, but that does NOT mean you have to read their emails, listen to them on the phone, read their letters, talk to them, live near them or put up with their toxicity. If there is any truth to what your mom is claiming, then work on those things within yourself to improve them. Even so, her tactics are not fair and you don't have to put up with her.
2006-11-30 23:18:46 · answer #5 · answered by MandaPanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are at a cross roads really. Rather than wipe them all which is hard - you can distance yourself from them and get on with your life. You can still see them occassionally but dont buy into their issues and their crisis and all the rest that disfunctional families create about them. Dont give your mum any fuel to fight you with, dont respond to her texts or the issues with siblings. Be civil and ignore them when they start being difficult - it helps if you live some where else otherwise you will find your life consumed with their petty issues and victimization so let it be. Good luck and god bless
2006-11-30 23:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends if you have had enough and this is just one story out of a long series of problems with them. If you want to defend yourself, then go to your mother and put her in her place. Tell her you expected more from someone who is supposed to love you. Then bring the issue up with your siblings as well and tell them you feel you have been wrongly accused by your mother. I think that if they make it hard for you and do not show you support, it may be time to go without communication with them for a time.
2006-11-30 23:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by Lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to believe a mother, of all people, would do such a thing. I would just clarify the situation with the family and then do what you feel is the right thing to do. Personally, I'd detach myself from the situation and the family, if necessary. Family are important, but if they don't repect you, why should you feel obligated to conform to their wishes. Be bold and confident. Best wishes...
2006-11-30 23:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by Fragile Rock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly sweetie i am in the same boat as you!! My mother kicked me out at the age of 17 after another drunken rant of hers!! Three years on i have a wonderful relationship with my bro and sis and ive not spoken to my mother or extended family since!!!!
Email me for the way i dealt with it, dont want EVERYONE reading it - no offence to all reading this!!! :)
2006-11-30 23:23:36 · answer #9 · answered by rosa_govan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, sounds like a bad problem! I would follow your heart, if you feel like it is worth saving then by all means try and patch things up, but then again, if you are at the end of your teather with it then try and get on with your life and surround yourself with poeple who are good for you, you need to look after number one and if people are making you feel negative then you should let it go. It will be hard because like you say they are your family, but if they truely loved you then why woud they make you feel like this?? xx
2006-11-30 23:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by SARA H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a sign of the times. In end days it will be Father against son, Mother against daughter etc You need to make God the center of your life. Go to him in prayer and he will change you. You can't change others but you can change yourself. God will give you peace and turn your life around.
2006-12-01 01:09:41 · answer #11 · answered by Shayna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋