am i asking to much? am i being over emotional?

Question

i got upset and tense with my bf over the phone. it was that typical women 'scene' over nothing that men fear so much. the reason behind it for me is the fact my bf never expresses any emotions towards me and I feel like i can't express any negative or weak or insecure feelings . so i bottle them up. and after i exploded.

any advice how to behave today when he comes to talk about it?

when i hinted in the past he always says do you want to change me|? i don't want to change him but every now and then i need to hear that i'm important to him and that he misses me.... it doesn't have be often but at least sometimes. and do most women feel the same?

Answer 1

Tell him you don't want to change him, just improve on some of the things he does. Don't tell him 'You Never' or 'You Always', just tell him you really like it when it does this or doesn't do that and you would like him to try harder to do those things. Also, before you say your last goodbye every day, think about if there are any issues bottling up inside you. If there are and they need to be discussed, even if you just want to vent, get them out everyday so you don't dwell on the.

Answer 2

It natural you need not worry. What exactly goes wrong is thinking very rapidly and taking a decision without realising all the consequences that are going to result because of it. Patience is the need of the hour in your case. Past is past and never ever brood over the past and build up your passions. Think only about the future and how you should behave. (thinking of past is like looking down when you are climbing great heights and you feel dizzy.) First you tell sorry to your boy friend and henceforth never be hasty and tell yourself that you will ask him about whatever that crops up the next day instead of the same day . This delaying would give you the time to think it over and then you can fight with him as the case may be but this time since one day has passed you will be very clever in handling the situation.

Answer 3

I think you need to reflect on whether your relationship is going along well, that is try to concentrate on the positives of your boyfriend's character rather than pick a fight on minor issues.
We are all different at the way we express ourselves and your boyfriend is not alone in this. Some people don't talk much and instead concentrate their energy on what they know best - romance and love making. If you are missing the latter, then you have every right to make him see how communication is vital to you. Even if he is good at both, I think he should try by all means to learn to say something romantic once in a while. But it seems if you push him too hard you will in the long run spoil your relationship as he already thinks your intentions are to change him.
When he comes back try to talk about something else, don't bring this subject again as I think it's unnecessary. Don't allow small issues to come between your love life because it is you who will end up disappointed. Sometimes in order to maintain our relationships, we need to tone down a bit for the sake of rekindling it. So, don't be hard on yourself or your boyfriend, but if it means so much to you and you find that he is continuing with his passive behaviour, then, opt out. Never compare relationships as each and every relationship is unique in its own kind of way. Again don't bottle up your feelings, say them out to him but bearing in mind that you are not changing him. I wish you well in your relationship and I think your boyfriend's behaviour will change for the better. Most men will change if they really love someone. Stop nagging and be the submissive, romantic, caring and considerate woman and see if he loves you more for that.

Answer 4

I hope you are ok now. You should just talk to him calmly tonight when he comes back. I can understand you, as I am sure most women have had this experience. Try to explain to him what it means when he is able to express himself to you, but try to assure him you are not being negative, you just feel like it would be better for the relationship. Maybe he does not understand it because he only see in the negative light. I think when people get together, there are sometimes "assumed" roles, and can be hard for people to be themselves etc... I always say it is better to be honest to gain understanding. If he is a good guy, he will be able to understand you and then you can try to take steps to improve these mis-understandings. I am sure you can work it out with him.


Good luck with everything. I hope it works out for you guys!!



Love

Answer 5

Yes, most women feel the same, and yes hon, you are expecting him to change! Even if it's a little bit, you want him to change how he normally is.
Either accept that he doesn't say things you like to hear or find another man.
Most men are silent like this. My husband is. But he does care enough to sometimes say things. Men have their different ways of showing their affection for you other than words.

Answer 6

I certainly think the same as you! My boyfriend is the same!! Not very good with emotions of any kind!! I am with him nearly 2 years now so I have learned to accept that if I wasn't important to him and he doesn't miss me sometimes then we wouldn't be together. Im afraid you cant change anyone to make yourself feel more secure you just have to deal with it

Answer 7

You won't change him, why do women think they can change us, we are what we are. My dad was the same, he and my mother lost a child through cancer and he didn't want to talk about it, and she eventually suffered from a break down because of it. Time has mellowed him, but he is still incapable of holding a conversation if it upsets or annoys him, and his feelings are hardly ever apparent. Just the way he is I guess.

Answer 8

I think when you see him you should explain that your bottling up your feelings and yesterday was you releasing all the pent up anger. Explain that you dont want to change him, but occasionally you would like to know he does want To be with you. Tell him your not looking for loads of emotion, but being told you special occasionally makes you realise he wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him.

Hope that helps

Answer 9

All of us guys need training on the depths and complexities of a woman.
Send him to mens group.
This mens' fraternity is all over the U.S.
It has helped me alot !!

Answer 10

Tell him it was that time of the month and you are sorry.....
We as men are used to being abused once a month so he will understand......

And yes it sounds like you are trying to change him.....

Pinch Punch first of the month!!!