i was cheated on by the woman i thought as the love of my life, but i know we were young and went into it pretty fast, but still my heart ached for her and still does. since then i have been with another woman for 3yrs. i love her but i still don't feel as if my feelings and the excitement the first love gave me is there. she is very good to me and i would never have to worry of her doing the same thing to me as the other did, but i guess i just miss what i had and don't no how to move on after all this time
2006-11-30 20:43:18 · 10 answers · asked by racinbudjr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just go out and get a lot of porn to tide you over. It may take awhile so get a whole wheelbarrow full of magazines and tapes and DVDs. pick up one of those inflatable realistic looking dolls and you will be set.
2006-11-30 20:52:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First loves are something none of us forget. They break our hearts and teach us a great deal about ourselves and our vulnerabilty in the process. Looking back those three years, I would like you to consider your hormone level at the time you met your first love and the differences in your emotional balance 3 years later.
I would venture that things are not so intense. Its not your current relationship that is to blame. It is maturity. Things calm over time and as we age. First love is the love of youth and raging emotions. They are so intense that they seem almost unreal. They are certainly unstable.
When a relationship is tumultuous either throughout or in the end it pulls us in many directions and it makes us fight all the more to make it work.
When you meet someone and you are young and they make you happy but then betray you, it makes you feel insignificant and I can say without a doubt you may pine for her for the next 10 years. However, it will be the romantic image of getting back, remembering the good times, the intensity, winning her back and vindicating your feelings of loss, betrayal and shame over losing her.
The reality would be much different. For someone to cheat on you, she would have to lack respect. How can you respect someone and cheat on them. If a person believes their former partner was considerate, how considerate is it to negate the feelings of the person you say you love? Pining for lost love is a common theme.
My first love was with me on and off for 6 years and we too were very young. I was like you and wanted him back. He came back and did it again, over and over. The truth is that is his character. He might have been able to be true to others but my need for him was so clear that he just walked over me. I suspect that is what happened to you eventually. I would say you have a gift in the second girlfriend.
She might not bring you all the excitement of the first but neither does she hurt you or abuse your trust. You need to look to her for your emotional salvation because if you value yourself, she is the one most able to help you gain it back. I hope you find peace with this issue. I know how hard it is. Been there done that.
2006-12-01 04:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by Lina H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im like your gf ,,, my bf lost the love of his life, he married his childhood sweetheart and she left him for another after 15 yrs and 2 kids,,she cheated on him for a year before she told him... i often feel like im second best and it sux, even though he loves me it's taking it's toll and im in limbo on wether i should move on or not...cause i feel like im not good enough cause i know he still loves her, he tells me it's a different kind of love he feels for her now that he's inlove with me but i can sense it...anyways time does heal but try to focus on what you HAVE got not what you havn't got anymore, move on.. for your own sake and the sake of the wonderful new woman in your life before you loose her too. don't compare these women, why don't you try to initiate some new and different excitment with your new woman, different from what you did with your ex, find out what your new woman likes , anyways, it's up to you,, you have to move on or you will never be happy in any relationship or life in general. You can't rely on other people to make you happy, you have to do that yourself .Good luck!
2006-12-01 05:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by springo88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are words are not true, if u would have in serious love with the first girl then u will not love another. Find the first girl explain the problem and live with her peacefullly.
2006-12-01 04:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must still think alot about your ex to be feeling this way. there is always something in the back of everyones mind about their first love and im sure in time things will get better with your girlfriend everything takes time so dont worry
2006-12-01 04:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by sweetflyer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what, you should be thankful for the gifts in your life, snap out of it, enjoy the time you have because it's never enough
2006-12-01 04:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by nbr660 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never forget your first love....but you need to move on and enjoy life. I still remember my first love and its been many years!
2006-12-01 04:46:48 · answer #7 · answered by th25tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attracted to sluts? Try to appreciate the fact you have a good woman by your side...not easy to find.
2006-12-01 04:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by sdbrian92108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, but in your case your first love was better
Reconcile with her.
2006-12-01 04:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by good day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time heals all wounds my friend...you will always hold a place for her...but move on mate !!
2006-12-01 04:45:26 · answer #10 · answered by admiralawesome2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋