ive decided never to have sex with my girlfriend because -?

Question

it will ruin the relationship. do you think she's going to hate me when i tell her. is sex that important that someone will leave someone they love

Answer 1

Hello Jesse

Im just here to give you positive advice. There is nothing wrong with your opinion I am engadged to my fiance and plan still to be a virgin into marriage. Sex just complicates things .. there is more to life then that .. just lying in each others arms or talking about your dreams.

I cant tell you whether or not she will get angry with you. But if she is the right girl for you she will understand. You have to do whats right for you and you shouldn't be pressured into doing something just because alot of people do it. Sex shouldnt be the deciding factor in a healthy relationship.

Best wishes

Answer 2

Sounds like your testing her? If you are unsure that you may or may not be the one for her, then do what you think you should....
She will not hate you for telling her the truth, she is your girlfriend, she obviously likes you. She will like you to be honest with her, tell her exactly what is on your mind and explain your reasons. Relax, some people have crazy libido some dont, some have a peak in there life some never do. If you want to wait for marriage because of religious beliefs then respect your choice and respect those of others that dont share your view. Sex doesnt ruin relationships, but it does take it to a completely other level. And you are smart to wait, because some people ruin good relationships with good people because they do move to fast. Yes it is very smart, and respectable to wait for marriage, but that doesnt mean you should jump into marriage just because you want to jump into the sack.

Answer 3

I think you're doing a great thing! Only if I would have waited till after marriage it would have been worthwhile but unfortunately my ex "wanted" to have sex. It's different in your case; you're the guy who wants to wait which is a good thing. Don't rush into it; let it develop on its own. And if you feel ready at that certain time, you'll know. Don't add pressure or feel left out because a lot of couples do not have sex until after marriage so you're not a lone. And if your girlfriend leaves you just because you're not ready for sex, than it was never based on love. If you love someone you are willing to wait for them and respect that person's choice, so if she respects you and your choice than she loves you and is willing to wait for whenever you're ready.


P.S. Losing your virginity is not even worth it, trust me. Yes it’s nice at the moment but what purpose does it serve? It’s afterwards you realize you could have waited. Either way about 90% of people who lose their virginity don't end up with the person they lost it to anyway. Lets assume your girlfriend sticks around until marriage (per say) than it only proves she loves you because true love doesn’t come with a time limit but patience. Good luck to you and your girlfriend :)

Answer 4

this is hard to answer! is she a virgin? are you a virgin? most people who have had sex before have an urge for sex! if you have never had it you don't know hwat it is like so you can't exactly want it like that. sex doesn't make a relationship..by far, but it is a good aspect to a long lasting relationship. sex doesn't ruin a relationship. it will enhance it, but only if te two involed are serious. so few people take sex serious anymore. look at all the teenage girls who wind up pregnant without a father for their kid! i don't think nyone should have sex until they are serious about the relationship they are in and if it isn't with someone they want to spend the rest of their life with than no it should not happen! sex is a very emotional, romantic thing for those who are in love, not just for a few seonds of "good feeling"

Answer 5

Jesse, you are a good kid. I'm a middle aged woman and I have to tell you, you're doing the right thing in my POV. For one thing, there are too many issues that go along with sex...diseases, pregnancy and the emotional aspect...your emotions go through the roof after being that intimate, which is why I agree to wait for the special girl like the other poster said. When I was a girl in the 70s, I PRAYED for a guy who's mind was on something besides sex. I wouldve treated you like a king! But thats just my humble opinion...but I wished their were more young people like you.

Answer 6

Sex isn't really necessary for a relationship to be meaningful. Ideally sex should wait till marriage or until you feel ready. Meaningless sex is often over-rated

If your girlfriend really wants to have sex that bad, tell her how you feel about the whole thing and try to make her understand.

Answer 7

Go for it. I give you a lot of credit if you can make it until you are married. I am middle aged and I think that was most of our plans when we were young, but I bet most of us jumped at the first chance we were offered to have sex, even if it was with someone we didn't even have feeling for. So be strong and I hope you make it, and if you do, tell us what it was like that first time AFTER you were married, then maybe we will have more of a will to teach this into our children like our parents did to us. Not that it did us any good, but maybe the next generation will be wiser.

Answer 8

When you love someone you usually want to have sex with them. The two go hand in hand. What you ought to do, if you've sworn off sex, is to date lots of people and not commit to any sort relationship. Otherwise you are seriously risking hurting someone.

Answer 9

Sex is a huge part in a relationship. If you are never going to have sex with her then you guys are just close friends anyways. If you are holding out for marriage that is a different story. If she can't respect the fact that you want to wait then she is not the girl you want to be with.

Answer 10

Everyone's talking about marriage. *lol* That's lovely, really, but let's be real. Unless you're waiting for marriage, and have been very upfront about that, this new little revelation will cause ripples.

Are you a virgin? Is she? Have you two ever had sex? Have you discussed this?

I don't think she will hate you, but I can't say she won't be pretty disappointed. In addition, if she wants sex and you aren't giving it to her, she will go somewhere else to get it.

I'm sorry.