Hi everyone, im 26 and have a beautiful husband, weve been together since we were at school, and married at 25. I have PCOS so would like to try for a baby now to give me plenty of time to conceive, we want this so bad, we have a rock solid marriage and a stable career, plus we are blessed in that we will never have financial difficulties due to parents fortune. However this parental fortune has given them some hold over us, they think that they can now control my husband and i and the decisions we make. They thought we married to young, and they will deffinately think that this is to soon!! they are my husbands parents and so its difficult for me to controll the situation, they feel we should be focussed on our career til about 33 then try, but thats way to long for me to wait, and it may spoil my chances of ever having a baby!! please help, im stressed with this, and i want to know if you think that we are too young and they are right?
2006-11-30 18:59:36 · 8 answers · asked by sabina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's simply none of their business and you have to find a way to tell them so. It seems 'subtle' probably won't work judging by the way they have let you know their opinion without being asked. Sit them down and TELL them your plans without inviting debate. Try not to lose your temper and say something you might regret, but if there is no alternative, then that's what they have brought on themselves, and well..... tough.
Regain control of your lives while you still can.
2006-11-30 19:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by Bart S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not too young to get married. Now, you haven't mentioned your husband's take on this affair. He has more lattitude to influence
his parents over involvement in your marriage. If he supports or does not see anything untoward about this meddling then you've your work cut out for you!
If on the other hand,and this should be the ideal situation, you are in agreement then strategies can be formulated.
At least you recognise the unfortunate truth that there is no such thing as a free lunch. These parents have arrogated themselves the right to take control of your marriage because of their 'investment' in you.
Before you make any far reaching decisions ensure that you have conducted thorough research.
Once you have made a resolution be firm and stand by it but be ready to argue it out competently.
Be focused on your vision for your nuclear family.
And lastly I personally think that you should take advantage of your financial security now to raise one or two kids you can always advance your careers later.
2006-11-30 19:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ithea Nzau 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies can wait. Careers may not. All things being equal, parents are right most of the time. And in this case, judging by the "fortune" they amassed, I'd say they had to have some idea of what they were doing. Not to mention they did such a great job raising their son that he was good enough for you to take as a husband. I suggest you try to compromise with them in a very polite, and respectful way. Try to be on the same page with your hubby before getting everyone together to talk about it. It is possible that everyone can come out of this feeling good about themselves, the choices made, the future and the harmony in the family.
Good luck!
2006-11-30 19:22:52 · answer #3 · answered by vinny_the_hack 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say to you that your parents lived their life the way they wanted to live it and you should have the same right. They only have as much control as you give them. Keep things "light" and put them all on a "need to know" basis. That should control everything. If you both want a baby, you have the right to conceive whenever you feel it's time...not when THEY feel it's time. Don't stress about it, just listen to them and let it go through one ear and out of the other, and DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! What can they do about it? NADA....Godloveya, honey!
2006-11-30 19:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know what PCOS is, however (REALITY CHECK), rock solid marriage, want a baby bad, stable career, apparently well off...then have a babe if you want it. To Hell what the parents of your hubby have to contribute!! Is that what you're after sweetheart? Or your spouse? Quite frankly, your letter said "I want their money, to hell with what I want!" Disgusting princess!! Get some priorities! Just what do you want anyway?
2006-11-30 19:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by slvrct1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know that you are ready it doesn't matter what anyone says. My grandma was married at 16 and had her first kid at 18... and she is still happily married. She knew she was ready... so she went for it. If you have a baby they are not going to shun you... I mean it IS their grandchild. But you have only been married for a year... if it was me I would wait for atleast another year... just because marriage can be hard and you should make sure it is going to last before you have a child.
Good luck.
2006-11-30 19:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by Alex The Girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your well old enough to make your own decisions. You can't let your parents control your life and evidently they always have. Your an adult now, the only way to grow up is to stand on your own. AND I BET when you do have a child they will love it.
2006-11-30 19:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you may desire to ask your instructors for makeup artwork and a few extra credit artwork. that's what I consistently do because of the fact my mum and dad are super strict on grades and that i'm no longer allowed to have something under an A- which sucks. i do no longer think of its a daft punishment, except you tried your terrific in college, yet my guess is you probably did no longer.
2016-12-29 18:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋