What you think my 20 year old daughter should be paying towards her keep/contribution to the household?

Question

She has recently returned from travelling and supporting herself for a year and now has a 'proper' job and is earning the same as me!

Answer 1

Try and figure out what costs have increased since she moved in. For example look at electric bills and water bills from the same time last year and see how much the consumption has changed over a few months and charge her and average. Have her buy some (one half, third, quarter, etc of them depending on the number of people in the house) of the groceries.

Answer 2

It depends on your family life. Is your daughter in the house often? Are you strict with her? Does she help around the house?

I don't personally think that your daughter should pay half of everything as somebody has already mentioned as it isn't her house. If she moved in with a friend then that would be acceptable as she would then obviously be using half of everything and doing half the housework.

It should be a realistic enough amount to cover the majority of what she uses, like food, electricity etc, but remember that she is your daughter and I'm sure you didn't have children to make a profit.

If your daughter never shows any signs of leaving in a few years time then maybe she is getting too comfortable and should consider finding a place of her own.

You should probably sit down and discuss this with your daughter and see if you can come to an agreeable amount between the two of you.

Answer 3

Obviously she should be paying but it is difficult to work out what her contribution to the household should be without knowing what you and anyone else in the house (your partner if you have one) are paying, and what the bills are.

My parents only made us contribute a nominal amount as they didnt need the money, but they made sure we saved in a savings account. If you DO need her input then you should show her all the bills for light, heat, food etc (and don't forget all the household essentials like loo paper, soap etc) and work out a fair contribution.

If she doesnt like it, then show her the local paper and how much it would cost her to rent a flat or even a room in someone else's house.

My mother used to say you are not being a friend to your child if you dont make them pay.

Hopefully your daughter will see that it is only right and proper for her contribute fairly to the household now she is grownup and earning good money.

Answer 4

Sticky situation. There's nothing wrong with asking her to help with the bills, since you are earning equally, but since she is the child, and you've always taken care of things and managed before, you can probably expect some rocky roads ahead simply for suggesting it. A 20 year old, however, is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves-on their own. If you get along well, and would both like to continue the living arrangement, you could suggest that now she is an adult you can be "roommates"-splitting the bills equally. If you earn the same, she is no less able to afford it than you. Keep in mind that if this happens, you can't expect to be the parent in charge anymore. If she were elsewhere paying the bills, she wouldn't have to answer to a parent. So you can expect the dynamic to change if she's holding her own. You are right I think to do this now. Too many parents don't understand that not asking their children to be responsible for themselves when the time comes only denies them important life lessons.

Answer 5

If she's making the same amount of money as you and is spending time at home as if it were her, not just sleeping there I think at 20 she can contribute 30-50%. Personally I think its time for her to move out but that's just me. However since she's working a well paying job and isn't doing anything illegal or dangerous that's good. Sit down with her and discuss saving money. Give her six months to save up enough money to last her 3 months on her own and then figure out what she has left. Out of what she would have left you can determine what a reasonable contribution is. Don't be like some parents and allow her to live there paying nothing and spending her money on frivolous things. You may consider charging her half of what a one bedroom apartment in your area costs plus half of average utility costs. Hope I helped.

Answer 6

Of course she should, she is working and earning and 20 years old, and the fact that she has supported herself for a year of travelling... Come on stop being such a sissy... and too scared to ask her... YOU ARE THE MOTHER AND ADULT HERE, DONT BE SCARED TO ASK HER BECAUSE YOU ARE WORRIED SHE WILL TURN AGAINST YOU... FFS! Why should you have to struggle... you both live in the house, and both use the ameneties... if she was living anywhere else she would have to pay rent, bills, and for her own food... I reckon £50 a week all in should be fair enough.... She can help with the shopping, housework and washing too.... You will be doing her a favour in the long run, AND don't cave in... otherwise a viscious circle will ensue. Good luck...

Answer 7

how many of you live in the house?
How many of you work?

im 20 and im a married mother of 2, i pay 1/2 of all bills as i live in a house share wiv my huby and kids and friends,
i think you should divid it up by how many people are in the house (not including children!) I mean how many contributing adults will live in your house if there is 2 of you then half if there is 3 of you then a 1/3
etc! If she dont like it then she will have to move out and pay for everything.

Answer 8

If she is just staying a little while until she finds a place of her own I would say it is probably a parents duty to let her stay free, but if this is going to be a permenant arrangement she should be helping with bills, at least the utilities. If she doesn't contribute to food but eats at the house, or doesn't help with cleaning and household work I would charge some type of rent for the extra work you have to do to clean up after and feed her.

Answer 9

This depends on dose she have her own room?is it big or small?dose she use the water?eat your food?basically live at your house then Yes she should be paying towards this!You need to sit down and explain that you cant do this on your own,if shes lived on her own for a while them she will no and understand that it is hard running a home.all of the prices depend if your living in a council house then it is cheaper than living in a massive house where there's lots to pay for.don't ask for lots of money like half her wages because she will think that your in it for the money.but explain that if she doesn't give you enough money so that you can run the house with out being out of pocket your self then shes gonna have to find some where else to live because its to expensive.

Answer 10

The very least she should do is pay for the shopping and keep the house tidy. That's what I try to do the few hours I'm @ home and awake!!!

I shop all my personal stuff, help keep the house tidy (especially over the summer when hardly anyone is at home!!!) and do shopping for household basics. (Dishwasher stuff, toilet rolls etc)

If you want to take more off her then that's up to you. It'll keep her in tack that way. If she doesn't like the idea of paying then she should ship out & see what it's really like "living on my own".

I should also mention, I supported myself going to college by mainly paying for it by myself.