Husband refuses to believe he has a health problem?

Question

My husband just got diagnosed with epilepsy, when he found out he got extremely angry and refuses to believe so. Its A mild form of epilepsy which occurs during sleep. The doctor ran no test or anything before saying it was epilepsy and prescribing medication, although he does go for a CT scan next week. This is one of the issues that upset him, and he also thinks it may impact on his Job that he loves (however i doubnt it would due to the form of epilepsy it is) How do i help him to come to terms with this, or simply make him not rule out the fact that it is possibly epilepsy? Hubby is very, very adament its not and even quoted that "its probably a brain tumour", Why does he have such a stigma about epilepsy?

Answer 1

Hello.
First, when you say doctor, do you mean a GP or a specialist?
Second, as you said, doctor ran no test or anything before saying it was epilepsy. So no wonder your husband feels upset and rightly so!

I think you should calm down and calm him down and tell him to wait for all the test and results. At the end it could be nothing or nothing serious.

You should consult and specialist/neurologist because he is the best person to evaluate your hubby's situation. He will ask you or/and your husband when it start,what was his reaction,for how long did it last (the fit) etc. Only after having all this(and maybe other) information and a scan result EEG,MRI that the neurologist can actually say if he suffers from epilepsy and what type of seizures is he having.

If it is actually epilepsy then his life will change. He might not be able to drive or work with machinery which could affect his work. The medication that he will be on will,somehow,also affect him due to the side effects. Read very carefully all the leaflets.

You said that the scan is next week. Why don't you do some research about epilepsy on the net?

I find this website very good. It has peoples story,how did they cope with it and tons of information about it.

http://www.epilepsy.com/

Answer 2

I am not sure what the symptom was that got you to the doctor in the first place, so I am not sure what your husband was expecting or is trying to change. i am not sure what you are going to be able to make your husband do, but it might not be realistic to think that you can make him take medicine or make him not rule out epilepsy, but I am pretty sure you both can make each other miserable.

I am assuming your husbands symptoms are not interfering with his job, threatening his or other people's safety, or getting worse. There is a valid reason that most insurance providers will pay for a second opinion or a request to a specialist.

This is a major diagnosis for anyone and most people would take a number of days to even begin to deal with it. You may consider giving him some time, support, and TLC until he gets a chance to adjust. If a doctor told me something like this it would scare the spit out of me.

Answer 3

I had exactly this problem with my ex. He had the same type which occurs during sleep.

It is natural for your husband to be frightened and depressed. He's just been diagnosed with an illness which he's going to have to live with for the rest of his life. He is grieving, and the first stage of grief is denial.

Also, of course, he is right that a diagnosis of epilepsy could impact his job. Epileptics can be barred from operating machinery or driving because of the risk of fits, and even though his fits occur only during sleep, they may apply the same rules.

Give him time to calm down, see what the CT scan says. If it finds an epileptic focus, he's going to have to accept it.

Answer 4

It's called denial. One of the 7 steps of death, only your husband is not imminently dying, he is dying slowly everyday. Just like everyone else, dying without notice whether it is a terminal illness or growing old, it is taxing on a man (or woman) that their time could be nigh. We only want to think about living, not dying, and with a man, it is mostly a pride aspect, and he is having a hard time coping with the fact he is older, and hasn't achieved what he has dreamed of. He also envies others that he may perceive has done more, well, or better than him. Get him to a qualified psychoanalyst, or psychotherapist if you can. But you may be in for a good hard fight that you will have to persist. A man does not easily go to something like this because of the pride factor, of being able to handle things on his own, like a man is expected to in this world!

Answer 5

Well, if he thinks he has a brain tumor, I, too would be pretty angry if my doctor without so much as checking anything just klonks down some medication against epilepsy and sends me away... I think he feels ignored, and he's right.

Answer 6

Maybe it's that the doc diagnosed and prescribed drugs without proper and thorough testing. Why not get a second opinion?

Answer 7

When a person first learns that he/she has a major health problem it's common to go through stages in our feelings about it. These stages are similar to the stages of grief: denial, bargaining, and so on. My bet is that your husband is in the denial stage.

Answer 8

unless the doctor can say it wont happen while he is awake they will take his drivers license away from him, who knows why he feels the way he does, the doctor will tell him and if that doctor doesnt do it for him he can waste money going to another but sooner or later he will have to listen.

Answer 9

Having recently been missdiagnosed three times and suffering because of this.......tend to side with your husband.

Let him deny all he likes as long as he gets tested.