i have been talking to this guy sence june 2006.he wants to meet me and he wants me to stay with him sat.&sun.we have a lot in common and we have only talked on the phone and yahoo.i dont really know what to do.he says he really likes me and thinks we will hit it off good and if we do he wants to start seeing me.i just got out of a very bad abusive relationship 6weeks ago and i dont know if i am rushing things or not.i just dont wan tthis one to blow up in my face.i really like this guy he is sweet.i am a little scared to go see him and stay there cause i dont know him.so what should i do...
2006-11-30 16:27:08 · 19 answers · asked by harleyloveronly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do not see him, this world is too crazy, you never know if he conjured up this psyco plan to lure you in, hang out with him a few times in public and let your friends meet him and than start being alone with him. Trust me, and if he gets offended just tell him...it's nothing personal, i would just feel a little more comfortable....if he gets mad he may be a bit crazy!
2006-11-30 16:34:08 · answer #1 · answered by thicknsexy954 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound's kinda like a set up. The whole thing sounds like something out of a sex predator documentary. Where the common tactic is to meet girls over the internet by saying nice things, talking about the same interest, and building trust, and then try to arrange a meeting so they could take advantage of them. If you're under 18 and he "seems mature" and "really sweet" definately don't go.
You talk with him on the phone? Do you know his number and call him or did you give him your number and it's always him that calls? If you have his number he may not be a predator, but if its the second case and he's the one initiating the calls, that's predatory. By not giving you his number, he'd trying to hide from being traced.
If your 18 or older and you want to be safe do the following:
-- Bring another couple (people you know) with you and make it a double date.
-- Don't spend the night at his place and only meet for one day.
-- Ask to meet in a public place and do things (see a movie or checkout a restaurant) that don't involve going to his place or yours.
-- Tell at least 3 other people (other than the couple) where you're going and who you're meeting. If he sent you a picture, make copies and give one to each of them.
The fact that your a little scared to see him tells me you that you may have picked up on a strange vibe from something he said or the tone in his voice. Perhaps its a little bit of paranoia since your last relationship was so rough.
This guy still may be legit and not a predator so you should tell him you don't feel comfortable spending the weekend. If he's really just trying to meet you, then he'll understand and agree to a double date for just the day. If not he could be a predator.
If he tries talking you out of the double date and trying to convince you it'll be all right at his place, turn him down, he's most likely a predator. If he breaks off contact and stops talking to you completely that could confirm he may be a predator and has moved on since you're not falling for the sceme.
You should speak with a cop about possibly checking up on this guy. They'll need access to your phone records and your computer so they can use any of the emails and IM's he sent to try and find his IP Address and trace the letters back to him.
2006-11-30 17:34:52 · answer #2 · answered by Rukh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in this same situation back in 1999 but I wasn't coming out of an abusive relationship. Anyway this guy and I talked online (aol) for about 3 months always asking me to met him so I figured after 3 months I would so we made plans for me to come up and stay the weekend. I wasn't very comfortable so I asked if I could see him the weekend before just to hang out for a few hours to see if I really wanted to stay for the weekend coming up so anyway long story short I met him we hit it off and now we have been together for 7 years. Its not a bad thing but if your gut is telling you not to stay sat and sun then don't just go and visit for a few hours in a public setting and see how you guys are. Maybe go on a few dates here and there. Whatever you do don't rush things. Good Luck!
2006-11-30 16:55:16 · answer #3 · answered by LoraBaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would not be a good idea to go stay with him. Six weeks isn't giving yourself very much time to heal from an abusive relationship and right now you are probably very vulnerable. If you want to go meet him, go meet him in a public place. If he truly is a sweet guy and the two of you are right together then it will happen naturally. You say "he says he really likes me and thinks we will hit it off good and if we do he wants to start seeing me." You need to worry first about what is best for you and what you want.
2006-11-30 16:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run for your life. Do not even think about staying with some guy you have talked to on the phone and yahoo. What the h%*# kind of guy thinks a girl is going to spend two night with him when you don't even know each other? I'll bet he thinks you will hit it off good, he'll probally try to knock you off. You say you don't want this one to blow up in your face, you might be lucky if he isn't some weirdo that blows your face off. Haven't you been listening to what happens to a lot of girls that meet up with guys through the Internet? If you value your well being do not do this.
2006-11-30 16:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is far from your home, stay at a hotel and just meet him places for the week end. Then the next time, do the same, but let him invite you to his home to watch a movie and eat pizza or whatever, but make sure he takes you back to the hotel after. And build up your trust like that little by little.
2006-11-30 16:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by besitos2610 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are rushing things take time to get to know him 6 months almost you really dont know this person good enough to spend and give so much of yourself to him. Respect your self and you will have rewards from that. I had this guy ask me if he can spend the weekend with me after talking to him for a week or so and I am like I dont know you like that you can spend time with me but a weekend that has to be earned and unless we are engaged thats not happening. Go see him for what as much of a distance it is between you it is between him men like a challenge you do what you stated this will blow up in your face and you are treating yourself worthless. You are a prize please treat yourself as such....
2006-11-30 16:33:56 · answer #7 · answered by zizi4me22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not comprehend what the archives will be in this female's case. might want to it probable be that she has topics such as her visual attraction and thinks you would no longer be accepting? i comprehend that's extra uncomplicated to communicate on the phone because it supplies you anonymity. Oh, I purely reread your comments. you probably did meet her already. Now, i'm completely at a loss. will be time to inform her you would pick to make sure yet another assembly or stop the "pillow communicate."
2016-11-30 00:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your intuition is right and you sound like a smart person. Yes, it is rushing things a bit (the staying over part). But, if you'd like to go meet him you should.. life is short and you may like him. Do it briefly. Have fun. AND do not stay over. Show respect for yourself and use a bit of caution. He'll respect you for it too (and if he doesn't.. he's a loser)
2006-11-30 16:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, Please do not stay with this man, as the others have said meet him in a place where there is a lot of people, take someone with you, he knows how things are now days, if he's for real he'll ok it, if he seems to have a problem with it, tell him don't call any more or yahoo you any more.
" Be Careful "
2006-11-30 16:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by linda h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋