I found out that my best friend likes me. Alot. He asked me out 2 times before I said yes, and even then I wasn't sure I made the right choice. That was a long time ago. (4 months +) and we have been going out the entire time. I really learned to like him, but once again, I'm not so sure. He has helped me through alot of things, including my depression. That has hurt him, but he still calls me every night and finishes every call with "I love you." I don't love him the same way he loves me anymore, but I will still die for him. I'm beginning to feel trapped thanks to these stupid feelings, and I don't want to hurt him anymore. I know it would be cruel to lead him on, and that is the last thing I want to do. Should I break his heart, or give it more and more time, although more time would be fruitless in the long run?
2006-11-30 16:12:38 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you have a really great guy there but the relationship is too intense. Tell him that you are feeling uncomfortable because you aren't ready for such a serious relationship. He needs to back down a bit. Good luck. I hope you can make it work.
2006-11-30 16:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop calling him your best friend... he is a man that loves you, not your best friend. If you know there is no future then you should let him go. It is not breaking his heart... it will hurt, but it's the best thing for him. If you're really not sure then there is nothing wrong with giving things a shot. I have been in a situation very similar to yours, although I was in the role that your "best friend" is in. To be there for somebody like I was for her and he is for you is a very serious and emotional thing. You should not look to him for those loving things unless you are prepared to give him your heart. I would suggest you keep things simple... plan dates, do fun activities together, but deal with your life's challenges yourself and don't burden him. That will take the pressure off and you can decide if you want to be with him because you like him and enjoy having him be a part of your life, rather than based on the things he does for you.
2006-11-30 16:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Zloar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should give yourself a chance if you could also love him and do not break his heart in a rush because you might be the one who will regret it maybe for the rest of your life.I also had an experienced like you right now.I have an eight year friendship with my bestfriend.I didnt know that he has feelings for me until the time that I was liking this other man, and you know he left our friendship because he really hurt that time, but sadly I didnt know that...and like you I never thought of having feelings for him because I only see him as a friend, a brother.But when time comes that the other man break my heart and I live my life with a problems in my ovaries(I thought Its my last chance to live) I remember my bestfriend whos now having his own life trying to forget me.And I discover his feelings when he told it to me in text with bursts of anger and hatred...I cant sleep that night, all night I was crying,not knowing what to do and how do I hurt the man I love as a friend for over 8 years..Until I realized that I should fix this thing to help him also to recover his spirituality (because of what happened he chose to be inactive in our religion and not going to meetings for a year).I give our friendship again a second chance to build and also a chance for him to show his feelings inside our friendship,and giving myself a chance if i will feel something for him.My decision is right and right now were two years as a couples and counting..I really cant believe up to now that I could have this feelings for him and he will be the one who can love me so kind and true..And I also regret what I did the time when I closed my eyes to him and instead meet other people who just ruin my view in love..Regretting also why I get too blind and to deaf in giving myself a chance to love the only person thats always be there for me, regretting why I hurt him that time and putting him in a very hurtful situation..Im glad that right now I fix all of this problems and put things back again in right place.Hope you too...Thats all hope i helped you.
2006-11-30 16:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by missy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you cant force your self to have feelings for some one "that way "
knowing how he feels about you I would call it off right away, the more you wait the more his heart is going to break. If you care for him and love him you should do the right thing. that way he can start healing and your mind will feel at ease knowing you are not hurting this person any more.
2006-11-30 16:17:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take him to the Ocean for a walk along the beach. Tell him the truth. If he loves you he'll listen and deal with it as long as you say what you've said here. Good luck!
2006-11-30 16:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you not explain this to him. So far, this does not look like its going to work. Learning to love is doing what others want not what you want. Don't get yourself set up for a miserable life.
2006-11-30 16:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lab 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make yourself feel something for him that you simply don't. The result will be more frustration, god forbid you go through another depression (LOL) I'm sorry but seriously you have to tell him how you feel immediately. (4 months is too long)
2006-11-30 16:22:12 · answer #7 · answered by Enchanted Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you would die for him stay with him. Don't break his heart. Whenever you have a guy who REALLY loves you and cares for you, you might want to stay with him because well, he would die for you too! He sounds like a sweet person from your description. Stay with him.
2006-11-30 16:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by brown eyed gurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My dear it your life you must concentrate on yours and no one else's.Go with your gut feelings and first thoughts towards anything in life including the selection of a mate.Take care....Tom Science 4
2006-11-30 16:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by Thomas M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him straight how you feel, otherwise things could get even more confusing. Plus, he could start loving you more. Or you could just ignore him. Ignoring people works well.
2006-11-30 16:15:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋