Tell me yor opinion.My son (9th grader)got suspended for something he didn't do.It was for not telling.?

Question

My son was at lunch and walked past a group of kids,one kid said hey watch this.He stopped to see what was up.2 kids in the middle of the crowd were playing the choking game.Another kid
went to tell a dean.2 deans came out and stood and watched for a
couple of minutes.They waited until something happened.My son
told the kid next to him that was really stupid and started to leave
but the dean walked up at the same time.By then there were15 boys standing around.They were sent to the office and had to fill
out witness reports and then all 15 boys were suspended for 3 days.The ones that were not directly involved got suspended for not
going and telling.Even though the deans were watching before
anything happened.My son tried to explain that he had nothing to do with this and the dean yelled at him and told him he was f-ing
stupid.Many parents have phoned the school and complained about this not being right to the kids that weren't involved.What
would you do.

Answer 1

If you want quick results, there are 2 places to go :

Over the principal's head to the school board

The news media. Local new anchors love to cover stories on kids' 'choking' games and how dangerous they have become.

There was absolutely no reason for the principal to speak to your child that way. Be sure your son is telling the truth. Children tend to stretch the truth when they feel they may be in trouble. (I have 3)

I really don't understand the concept of suspension. It really just punishes the parents who have to find a babysitter. A better punishment would have been to make all of the kids who simply 'watched' write a 5 page report on the dangers of forced asphyxiation. Then they would actually learn that it doesn't always just make you pass out or die. You can suffer brain damage. And I don't know ONE teenager who fears death - but all of them fear being in a wheelchair of becoming impaired.

Suspensions are a waste of time.

Answer 2

You could make this into a public affair, but I don't think that's best for your son. This is a good chance to teach him that number one, life isn't fair. Number two, sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away from trouble. Number three, when we see someone in what we believe to be a dangerous situation, as caring, responsible people we have a duty to get help for them.

The dean probably suspended everyone and yelled and used swear words because he was stressed out to the max. Can you imagine what was going through his mind at the time? He is responsible for all of these kids, and what if one or more of them had died? It would have been hard for him to live with that on his shoulders. Try to teach your son the other side of the situation, and to look at other people with empathy.

Answer 3

The Dean had to make sure what they were seeing was what they thought it was. I don't agree with any adult calling a child a name under any circumstances but your son and the other non-precipitants should have went to get someone soon as they seen what was going on, he houldn't have hesitated and watched for even one second. Had the child died, the school, school board and all watching could have been sued for wrongful death. Unfortunately we have become a very sue happy nation and you and your son could have been sued even if you weren't found liable you'd have been out a lot of money in attorney fees. So I would tell my child next time run to someone. It would be a hard thing for him to get over if he saw another person die knowing that all he had to do was get help to prevent it. It's a good lesson learned and I'm sorry to say sometimes children aren't always 100% honest with their parents.

Answer 4

He was involved. he stood there and watched a another child being choked (possibly to death). This is a serious situation and your child and every child that stood there watching, laughing, etc deserves to be suspended. Your child should have walked away immediately and according to you, he had plenty of time to walk away because the dean stood to see if they would do that and they did not.

Second, believe me, your son is not telling you everything. I don't care how perfect you think your son is, he is holding back.

Third, would it have been any different if your child stood and watched a girl getting raped. You don't stand and watch, you stop it, or run and tell. He did neither.

Last, This is a learning experience with great consequences. Your child must learn to make better choices in life when it involves assault against someone else.

This is serious and don't allow your child to think that it is not !!

Assaulting someone for entertainment is not cool.

Don't allow what the Dean said "F----ing stupid" to blind you from what is really going on here. I don't understand why you are not angry or disappointed in your son's choice ?

By the way, how is the other child doing?

Answer 5

sI would go before the school board and tell them the principal called your son f-ing stupid. Your son may have signed an agreement to report such activity at the beginning of the school year. If he did, legally he does not have a leg to stand on. Otherwise get a lawyer and see what he can do. At least have him find out all repercussions, like finding out what records will be given to the Universities when he graduates. Treat this as a legal problem, not a "this is not fair" problem.

Answer 6

I would take my complaint to the school board, the district supervisor, the superintendant and everyone and anyone else that I could. I would even get up a petition signed by the other parents and go to a local politician, either state or federal. I'd be pis*ed off.

Answer 7

well, i'm a 9th gr. myself. And that's happend to a LOT of students. But that's kinda unfair, but then u kinda have to understand that the Deans really had to do something. if they didn't get anyone into trouble, then some other parents would also complain. i don't think u should punish your son though, if he's REAL honest..

Answer 8

I would say, "You were wrong not to report what was happening. I know that others, who did the same as you, are trying to get out of their punishment. But no matter what anybody else did, or didn't do, or how they try to avoid responsibility, I want you to do the right thing. You are guilty of not reporting a dangerous activity. As a decent person, I expect you to accept responsibility and accept your punishment. And next time, I expect you not to stand on the sidelines doing nothing, when something bad is happening."

Answer 9

You complain to the school board or whatever, and tell your kid not to stick around even for a second if he thinks something is wrong...it won't do him much good if it's the same situation sometime later and he's dealing with cops

Answer 10

That is wrong! You should complain to the superintendent. Get the other parents together and complain together. They should have talked to the kids to and tell them that they should have told, not suspend them. That is harsh!