A 29 month old and a 9 week old baby?

Question

My oldest is constantly getting in the babies face and he always bumps his head on the babies cause he is so close. Whenever the baby is trying to sleep peacefully he goes out of his way to rub the top of the babies head kinda hard. I'm sure he is not purposely hurting him but he does. I will say things like " you have to be gentle with brother" or " he is tired, he cant sleep when you are ________(whatever he is doing)" Sometimes he throws a tantrum when I say that and accidently hits the baby or something. He is getting very aggressive towards the baby and us.

I always make sure he gets hugs and kisses and I play with him alot. What else can I do??? Is it a phase he will grow out of???

I am hoping that the baby becomes "old news" soon and he just starts going about his day like he did before the baby came. Wishful thinking, I am sure LOL

Answer 1

These aren't accidents.
He does not like the fact that Mommy now has someone else to take up his time.
Think about it: Before the baby entered your family, your toddler was told he’d have a wonderful little brother to play with, and how much fun it would be. Then the little brother is born and your toddler is thinking, “Are you kidding me? This squirming, red-faced baby that takes up all your time and attention is supposed to be FUN?”
He gives the kid a hug, and you admonish him to be more careful. Is it any wonder that your toddler is confused?
Teach soft touches, Act quickly: Every time you see your child hit, or act roughly with the baby, act quickly. You might firmly announce, “No hitting, time out.” Place the child in a time-out chair with the statement, “You can get up when you can use your hands in the right way.
Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positive comment. Make a big fuss about the important “older brother.” Hug and kiss your older child and tell him how proud you are.

Answer 2

"Sometimes he throws a tantrum when I say that and accidently hits the baby or something." How does he throw a tantrum and "accidently" hit the baby?


I believe this is normal behavior with a toddler, who I'm assuming up to this point was an only child and had all of your attention. It will take some getting used to for your son and allthough I do not think the baby will become "Old News" eventially he will realize the baby is there to stay and it will get better.
If you have someone to keep our youngest I would suggest you AND your husband take your son out for a couple of hours and have some time just the 3 of you so he understands he hasn't been replaced.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

Your toddler's behavior is common and normal. He is jealous of this little intruder, and he wants his mom all to himself again! After all, no one asked his permission to bring a new baby home, did they?

That being said, continue to be firm in not allowing him to hurt the baby or to even be rough with him. You need to work out a way to have time with your toddler all by himself though. He needs to feel special and important, because all the attention the baby gets is making him insecure and jealous.

Make an "appointment" with him everyday where he has you all to himself to do whatever he wants, play a game or read or go outside, whatever. I know it will have to be a short "appointment," but maybe you could even carve out time for two of them.

Another thing you can do to help him adjust is engage him in helping to care for the baby. He can bring you diapers or snap a onesie, and little things like that will help him feel important and needed. Tell him how much you appreciate his help and what a good brother and son he is.

He will adjust, and he'll be fine. Hang in there!

Answer 4

My son and his wife have a 9 week old and a 15 month old. Almost the same situation going on as you have. I keep waiting for the 15 month old to not be so interested in the new baby too. But it doesn't look like it is going to happen anytime soon.

Answer 5

Is dad able to help? they definitely must have seperate rooms. The older one surely doesnot understand that because he is a baby himself! Its like telling your pet to stay away from the baby. You must be there at all times around the baby when both are there. He cannot possibly understand about the baby. Neither would your pet. So what do you do... you keep the lil baby safe from both and you allow the bigger one to help gently when you are changing diapers or getting milk, let them help bring you the wipes or something less stressful for all... let them throw away the dirty ones or something so they will feel useful also, kinda like the men when you're with the baby!

Answer 6

Try referring to the baby as "his" baby. i.e. how is your baby today? What games do you want to play with your baby when he is old enough to play? What do you think your baby will like to eat when he has teeth? YOUR baby brother is always a good place to start. Once he get's the idea that it is "his" he might behave a little differently. It worked well in our house and now they are grown and gone my daughter still refers to "him" colloquially as "son and brother"! i.e. have you heard from ... just a thought :)

Answer 7

take your oldest out for a special day of just you and him too show him you still care about him find a baby sitter for the youngest and take the oldest to the zoo or something he should grow out of it if not then idk just try and teach him right from wrong the best you can im sure you will be fine and good luck hope this helped

Answer 8

Try having Grandma watching the baby once or twice a week for a while & you take him out for a mom & me date. I did that when I had my son w/ my daughter whom was 2 and a half. We would go to the park, out to lunch, chuck e cheese or to a movie. It really helped!

Answer 9

nope my kids are 5 and 3 and still do this to each other, it is jealousy i have tried everything and when i babied my younger one she started doing it to the older one it is a battle for attention that will never stop

Answer 10

i think he is just curious about his new brother. so sweet. but it seems like you are doing a great job with the things you are doing...i cant think of anything else that would help...sry.