My boyfriend is almost perfect. He treats me like royalty, showers me with love, tenderness, etc. The family LOVES him. The problem: he will go days at a time w/o a shower!! This is Thursday night. He has not showered since Saturday. OMG he smells awful. And I told him so, & he said he was going to shower before bed, but he didn't. In fact he got pouty & instead of sleeping in our bed he's sleeping on a two-seat loveseat in our bedroom. Ladies, have you ever encountered this type of problem? How did you curtail it? It's also a royal pain in the booty to get him to wash his hands.
2006-11-30 15:11:33 · 15 answers · asked by Back in the Day 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If this guy would rather sleep on a short couch than take a shower and sleep in his own bed, there is a problem. If you've made it clear that it bothers you, and he continues to do it, he's deliberately pushing your buttons.
Just like with a child you need to clearly and calmly let him know the problem, the reason, and the consequences. Don't do it in the middle of a fight. In fact it's probably better if you do it after he does shower, when you're both in good moods. Say something like, "You smell so nice after a shower. You know, it really bothers me that you go so long between showers. I don't like being near you because the smell is so strong. When you refuse to shower, I just can't be close to you." Then follow through. If he doesn't shower, stay away. No kisses, no hugs, no sitting next to each other on the sofa. No sex. Sleep somewhere else, if necessary. Talk to him, but don't get close. Don't back down, but don't turn it into an arguement. Don't be pissy about it. Just walk away. He'll get the point eventually, as long as you're consistent.
Communication, consequences, and consistency are the key to any relationship, whether it's parent-child, boyfriend-girlfriend, friend-friend, or even pet owner-pet.
2006-11-30 15:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by swbiblio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've totally been in your shoes! I dated a guy a couple years ago who would go days and days without a shower, or a week without brushing his teeth. Plus he smoked, and it was all SO gross!! I never knew how to approach it, and when I did, he just passed it off as "eh I'll do it tomorrow." Finally, his MOTHER had to sit him down and give him a lecture like he was 5! This guy was a college graduate, for pete's sake!
I don't have many suggestions for you, but you're not alone! Luckily, I found a guy who knows what soap is! ;)
2006-11-30 15:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy crap that is gross...If I go til five pm on a saturday without a shower I feel nasty...
I would argue this is not treating you like royalty whatsoever so you might want to change your description of him...that is totally uncalled for, disgusting, and very very inconsiderate...
Tell him to clean up or you will find a guy who knows and embraces what a bar of soap is...
2006-11-30 15:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is war. He is testing you (by sleeping on the love seat) to see if you will stick to your guns about the showering.
In my experience, once hygienically challenged, always hygienically challenged.
BTW my friend, the Head Honcho Doctor over at mental health says lack of hygiene often points to mental issues.
2006-11-30 15:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly this more than likely results from a not strict parental guidance as a kid. Tell him straight up, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I really enjoy our intimacy and if you aren't clean then my enjoyment and safety goes out the window. So your best bet may be to use the no sex...i know it is cliche, but its for his own good.
2006-11-30 15:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by purrfectica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesn't start practicing good hygiene, you won't let him kiss you (or anything else). He'll should start showering more regularily with that kind of ulitmatem.
2006-11-30 15:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him back to mom for further instructions in hygiene. LOL Good Luck!
2006-11-30 15:17:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has mental issues. Not showering for days is disturbing.
2006-11-30 15:13:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell him straight up to shower daily or its over.
2006-11-30 15:14:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whats up!!!!!! --you've got the gross kid from school--sucks to be you --he's going to hand-off his funk and you will be the gross chic!!
2006-11-30 15:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by I'm laughing WITH you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋