My boyfriend and I live together in his home with our children. The girls are his and the boys are mine. 17 yr boy, 17 yr girl, 15 yr boy, and 14 yr girl. Yes, as you can imagine there is never a dull moment. I thought I was ready to face this. After all I have first hand experience, I too came from a broken family into a new one with kids. They have chores or did till I got fed up and now do it all myself. They have rooms of thier own and can not even manage to keep them clean. Looks like a city dump upstairs. 17 yr girl has a good cat but, the rules were his daughter was to take care of her or the cat goes. She has been told time after time. holy cow she is 17 what is so hard about taking cat? Now she has been told the cat must go. The 14yr old, 15yr old and 17 yr girl are now all grounded for disrespect. I have been told they hate me..wish I would move out and even swore at. What should I do keep them grounded til they apologize and respect? What should I expect from my bf? Help.
2006-11-30 14:58:15 · 15 answers · asked by italliansweety67 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well the best thing is DONT GET WHAT THEY WANT! ignore them, and dont feel sad or mad. who pays for there cellphones? (hint, hint) ima teenager and i hate you also..but i like you so ill help you. If they are disrespectful then you disrespect them, simple. And as for the cat i say you get rid of it, show who is boss with out getting mad or sad. THAT IS THAT KEY! BE HARD ON THEM WITH OUT SHOWING ANY ANGER OR SADNESS! just say "if you want to live in hell, keep this up"
DONT GIVE UP! because they will give in!
SHOOT IMA RAT!
2006-11-30 15:03:47 · answer #1 · answered by TIE MY SHOE 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Even IF You moved out, most likely the attitudes and laziness would still exist. Some teens just are not motivated to help out the family.
I think there are way too many spoiled teenagers. Discipline needs to begin much earlier and sets the tone. I'd take away so many privileges it would make their heads swim. I would sit down with your boyfriend and set up chore schedules. No tv or extras til the chores are done after school each day and on weekends. You both need to pull it together.
The teens are going to run this out for all they can, they're not dumb - so it's up to you both to lay down the law and not give in. Let them know they need to earn privileges. In the old days, kids had to do schoolwork and do tons of chores. Today they are complacent and selfish. Also mandate they do some outside volunteer work, it will make them better citizens all around. Involve them in something (Habitat for Humanity) and maybe they will appreciate what they have!
Also, I hope they are all paying their own car insurance and gas bills.
2006-11-30 15:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my! Girl, I think you already know the answer to your question, but I'll confirm it for you. STICK TO YOUR GUNS GIRL!! If you don't stand your ground now, you will never get the respect you want and deserve I'm sure. I don't know how long you and your bf have been together but what does he say about all this? I mean cause don't forget, this is his problem too! I would darn sure be reminding him of that fact, and be demanding some help from him!!! You know, he has to be willing to stand behind you in this situation or what good is he? I don't care if he works all day or what! The girls are his and he has to be the one to put the law down,...bottom line! There has to be rules and someone has to be there to make sure they are enforced! There has to consequences for bad behavior. Anyway, good luck. I hope it all works out. You're friend on line, Terry
2006-11-30 15:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by Terry Ranaye 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make them respect you. You and the boyfriend have to stick together, have the same rules (which requires compromise by you both) and pray alot. LOL. It takes time - alot of time to earn the respect of young people. Every teenager I know has a pet that mum has to look after. The time bomb rooms are pretty common too. It may help to have a giant clean out, throw out and get the house a bit organised (storage wise). Each kid does his own toss out! I have resigned myself to the fact that a clean and tidy home is my thing...so I do it, it makes keeps me from going crazy from mess. The main thing is bf and you presenting a consistent solid front. Good luck....
2006-11-30 15:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's really hard when things come to this. Some kids are really disrespectful. Talk to your bf, see what he says. He has kids in the house, too, so it is also his responsibility. try to work things out with the kids, because its tough to be a teenager, with all the pressures of today's society. ask them if they would like to talk about it, but tell them that you must set some ground rules first. like being constructively criticized, not swear words, the sort. If you make an effort to understand them, they should make an effort to understand you. Good luck!
2006-11-30 15:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by snowangel451 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I second the previous answer, that is a recipe for big trouble...pregnant chicks and all kinds of stuff. What did you think would happen? At a minimum, marry the dude if you are going to live with him among your kids. You don't sound incredibly bright...I've known a lot of personalities and can imagine that place lol.
2006-11-30 16:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by fade0246 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The place is probably full of sexual tension from the presence of so many teenagers unrelated to each other but living in the same house with each other and with unrelated adults. I wouldn't have recommended this situation. No wonder there's a lot of fireworks.
2006-11-30 16:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
aww yea I agree. each so often they ought to not decide a e book with the aid of its conceal. and perhaps cos at the same time as they were young ones, they were given informed what no longer to do and what to do, so now that is a habit for them to bypass this "malicious program" on... Khair inshallah. It change into for the suited :) purely say "yea uncle, ok". do not argue or w/e purely take it. on the proper of the day purely make effective ur the "higher" man or woman. ignore about him and allow him be the way he's. Allah ta'ala will manage him :) no longer u. take care salamulaykum :)
2016-11-28 02:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take charge girl you have to show them that there living under your house by your rule s and as long as they are in your dam house they better abide by your rules and to respect your boyfriend
2006-11-30 15:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by im at onegirlnumba@hotmail.com 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get Married! Then maybe they will respect you!
2006-11-30 15:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by **socal** 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋