Spankings?

Question

Alot of people these days disagree with spanking their kids. Their excuse is always something along the lines of "you should respect your kids and not hit them". A few minutes ago I saw a question on here (the one about being beat with a belt) and alot of people answered that they got beat and spanked and NONE of them ever said "it sucked..I wish my parents would have respected me!" They were all thankful they got it because they knew they wouldn't have turned out as well as they did without it.

So my question is for the parents who don't spank: Obviously kids who were spanked didn't turn out bad and obviously they were thankful their parents disciplined them the way they did, that being said how come you still don't spank?

Answer 1

I agree with spankings and I agree with you. I was spanked, I turned out fine. I never once resented my parents for it. The only thing I resented was the thing I got spanked for!

Parents these days think their kids are untouchable. A good swat on the butt is often needed but parents just don't care. They'd rather stick their kid in the corner and call that "discipline".

Answer 2

That's an exceptional question and I agree with you. I was one of the many that answered that same question by stating I am glad my parents spanked me. Of course at the time I wasn't because I was still a kid and was still learning. But now I realize they were right on to tan my bottom when needed.

Here's what I would expect as rational answers:
1) Case by case, certain kids may just react well to other punishments that have already been tried, so spanking is not needed.
2) Spanking may stir up painful memories (if you were beaten more so than spanked) or inappropriate sexual feelings (fetishes) for the parent. But in this case, see if the spouse can spank instead.

Answer 3

you know, that is good question. Okay, so say all parents in the world stop spanking thier children, then there would be no disipline. But, the law states that spanking a child is considered child abuse, but ten years down the road when your child robs the local convienent store, that same officer will blame you for not teaching your child wrong from right. I say this you carry this child, or father this child, you raise this child and all these people saying don't spank your child sure ain't helping you take care of this child, so whoop thier butts when they do something wrong. There is a difference between spanking and abuse. Coming from a mother of three, and believe me, when they get older, and someone ask them did your mom spank you, i'll step up and say you **** right i did, and wouldn't change it for the world because my children have been taught respect and disipline.

Answer 4

This is the exact opposite attitude as those who say don’t spank at all. You are equating spanking to being normal or okay. I'm sorry I'll be the first to say spanking should not be a normal occurrence. If a child is disciplined well and has rules implemented that are consistent there is rarely a reason to spank.

My parents did spank me and my sister. They only did it maybe five times in our whole childhood. Why? Because they didn't have to worry about us running a muck.

I very strongly feel some parents use spanking as a cop out--those parents who spank daily or even weekly are most likely doing something inconsistent with their kids. Without consistency in discipline a child doesn’t learn right from wrong--they learn that they can do it but it’s more a matter of whether they will get away with it or not.

I’m sorry my son is now 10 months old and I’ve tried slapping his hand and saying no at the same time--it is no more effect for him then just saying no. The same goes five year old cousin who has been in my care for the past two years. He came to me with more behavioral problems and I never had to spank him once.

Parents need authority. Parents need to be respected. Is spanking the only way to get respect? I really don’t think so. I know if I say no, get over hear now, or stop my children will listen because every time they do not I discipline them in the same manner as the time before. After about three time outs in a day you start respecting and taking a parent seriously.

I would spank my kids if need be--as a last and final resort. I doubt it will get that far ever. My children are very will behaved kids. I’m a fan of the options method: “Do you want to straighten up or leave the store?” That worked for me. If they didn’t straighten up we would leave the store--no fear of spankings and no embarrassment.

I really do think spanking should be used as a last resort. Like I said before if more parents stepped up, implemented, and remained consistent with a discipline strategy there would be absolutely no need for them to spank. After all who honestly likes or enjoys spanking their kid?

Am I saying spanking is wrong? No, I'm not going to go as far to say spanking is abuse--unnecessary--but not abuse. It's just sad how many parents resort to it.

One more thing--there also have been MANY MANY cases where children who are spanked turn out bad or it gets taken to another level. Why would a parent even want to risk that? Just because people are thankful does not mean all people are thankful. It’s like this “Just because Susie’s mom does it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.” Think for yourself. Don’t do something just because your parents did it--do it because you feel it’s right.

Answer 5

I wasn't spanked that much as a child. Now, there were numerous times when I got one or two swats on the butt for a misdeed. I don't really consider that spanking, though. A spanking, to me, is more than three smacks.

Spanking is definitely NOT abuse. If I ever have kids (probably won't happen, but you never know), I will probably discipline them in a way that is similar to the way I was disciplined.

On the other hand, I won't say that spanking is the ONLY way to do things. I have known parents with adult kids who say they never spanked their kids when they were growing up, and the kids are just fine. I guess the parents could by lying, but who am I to make accusations?

I guess it just depends on the kid. There may be some kids for whom a time out type of punishment (like standing in the corner, something like that) would have more impact than a spanking. Heck, I once knew a woman who had problems with her young son throwing fits in stores. She tried everything to get him to stop: spanking him, even taking him to a therapist. In the end, what made her son stop throwing tantrums in stores was her getting down on the floor with him when he threw his fits, throwing a tantrum along with him to show him how pathetic he looked. Boy, I bet that kid is going to hear about that in years to come!

But, in all, I don't think my parents disrespected me by spanking me, giving me those occasional whacks on the butt, etc. Now, I will say that there were times when I don't really think I deserved the swat or spanking or whatever, for the "offense" was really just me trying to be independent. I was a pretty independent kid (and am still that way today), and I guess my parents sometimes didn't want to let me be that way. I guess any parents would have been that way, though.

Boy, I really managed to make this post long, didn't I? lol

Answer 6

I got beat with a belt and to this day all I remember is the beating with the belt. I don't remember what I did to get it. I remember curling up into a ball afterwords and thinking how terrible my parents were and how I didn't deserve to be in so much pain for whatever little thing I did. I remember not being able to sit or to stand and even laying down hurt.

I do not believe in spanking my child. I believe in taking away her favorite things. It is much more effective. One day I remember taking away a stuffed toy that was her favorite at the time. She begged me to spank her because spanking to her was less of a consequence then taking her favorite toy.

My daughter is very well mannered and respects my authority as a parent without needing to spank her to do it. She also adores me as a parent and sees me as loving unlike how I saw my parents whom I feared.

Lastly it makes absolutely no sense at all to teach a child not to hit by hitting.

Answer 7

I don't believe that punishing a child by causing physical hurt (notice I didn't say "harm") is teaching anymore than "OW, that hurt". I personally cant imagine spanking my children. I use other forms of discipline ie. time out, grounding, and even extra homework if the problem is school related. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I can not imagine laying a hand on my child that would be perceived by them to be anything less than loving. I do not believe that using physical pain as punishment (I'm not a drill Sargent by the way) or humiliation (which i believe naturally comes with spanking) is an effective tool. I remember HATING my parents for spanking me. I vowed to never let my children feel that way towards me because I spanked them. They can hate me because they are grounded, they have a curfew, or because I send them to bed early, but they will never feel resentment towards me as a parent because I have layed a hand on them to spank. They are well behaved, polite and very mature children, and I believe that is because of how I am raising them, without corporal punishment.

P.S. I can differentiate between a beating and spanking. I choose to not spank. Others chose to. Neither side of the issue is right or wrong.

Answer 8

I think it kind of depends on the reason for the spanking. For instance, my dad used to spank me in anger, or frustration, or geez, just because. I hated it... absolutely hated it. It wasn't a swat, it was several hard hand spankings that really hurt. I think there's a point where it's doing more to get rid of the frustration of the parent than teaching the child something.

For me, I guess I'll claim that I never spanked my kids. At least not the way I was. I can recall swatting my toddler (who was wearing a diaper) for trying to choke her baby brother. I also

Answer 9

I never spanked my daughter and she's a perfect child for me , so far.

However, with my 18 month old son it's a total different story. My husband and I never thought we would spank him but we've tried "removing him from the situation", time out, sending him to his room ect ect and he is just a wild child.

So now I think spanking a child might be an option for discipline. I would never give him a smack down, or slap him, or use a belt. But I think sometimes a little swat might just work.

Answer 10

A swat on the butt is okay, actually spanking a kid, no I don't do it. My Mom didn't spank me and I turned out fine, my father hit me once with a belt and I was never close to him again. My son is now 21 years old, I probably swatted him 5 times in his entire life and he has NEVER been in trouble and is in college now doing well. I don't spank my 7 year old either, I show her respect and demand respect back, and that is what I get. The trouble with spanking, is that in a fit of anger it can get "out of hand", even with the most stable parent. The results of spankings are not respect for a parent , but fear of a parent. I don't want my kids to fear me. Give me all the "thumbs down" you want, I will never spank my kids just because others think I should.

Answer 11

I came across adults who had negative effects when it came to being spanked.

My mom never spanked me and I also turned out good.

Therefore, each generation doesn't always need to be spanked to be disciplined.

I won't spank. A person doesn't have to spank just because society thinks its affective since non spanking is also affective.