how to stop my 17mth old from hitting other kids and himself...?

Question

my son is strong willed & hardheaded.. pushes & hits kids,i stay home with him & watch other kids so i am hard on him because i really don't want him to hurt anyone elses kids. i'm constantly yelling at him. i put him in time out and explain to him why you shouldn't hit and when that fails i pop his hand,then put in time out.he just gets mad at me & screams & hits himself,i try to ignore that but this is an all day thing.(i think) he has picked all this up from 1 child i used to keep who did the same thing but 10X worse.is he just picking up bad habbits? i need to know how to break this.he also plays with my nephew who is 4& very active.they tackle and chase each other and he loves it but i think he is just trying to bully the other kids who are 2yrs& up.he's very sweet and fun just not to the kids that are his age.i'm a 1st time, 24yr old parent with 4 nieces & nephews and don't know what to do....please help!

Answer 1

DO NOT be one of those people who says "boys will be boys"
tackling and chasing should simply not be allowed..
I suspect he is jealous of you being "mom" to the other kids.. it is VERY hard on him.. infact experts say that when you have 1 kid you shouldnt even get pregant with a second until the first one is 2yrs.. becuase 18 months to 30 months is when a kid is MOST needy of their mom...he is just entering this group.. and you are busy with other kids - he MUST compete for your attention - even negative attention is attention...
the BEST thing you can do. stop looking after other peoples kids until he is 3-4 years old...and even then only do it on a limited basis....
I know babysitting is good income for you or your family puts in on you BUT You need to put your sons needs first.. he will get more and more messed up until you are able to give him time for him....

Answer 2

Hi I think in one way you may be confusing him because you are telling him not to hit but then you pop his hand. He is 17 months and hitting is one of the ways that kids show they are unhappy with something... try to see what is going on when he hits. Is it someone took his toy or he wants the toy someone else has. You have to get down to the main issue on why he is trying to communicate with this action. from there you can work on the problem. if it is a toy, work with him on sharing and getting the toy back without hitting.Is it right around naptime or bedtime and it is a sign that he is tired. Good luck and don't give up.

Answer 3

First, u got to find your son activities and he will no longer do this.
Just tell him NO, come on and lets make something with paydoe or watch a fav. cartoon or punch empty egg cartons.
At his age he gets bored easy and just needs activities.
Stop punishin him for being a kid. He is not a minature grownup.
They grow too fast, so just give him positive activities .
crayons and paper is great--get the child ready for kindegarden.
Take his hand and help him write his name.
These are the golden years that will effect him for life.

Answer 4

HIT HIM BACK! (ON THE HAND)

MAKE IT HURT!

LET HIM KNOW WHEN YOU HIT HIM, THAT IT HURTS. TELL HIM THAT HITTING IS BAD. EVERYTIME HE HITS YOU OR ANOTHER CHILD, HIT HIM RIGHT BACK, BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT STING A LIL, NOT SO HARD TO WHERE YOU LEAVE A BRUISE OR ANYTHING, JUST MAKE IT STING. HE WILL LEARN FAST. HE WILL REALIZE THAT WHEN HE HITS OTHER KIDS AND THEY CRY, IT HURTS THEM, AND HE DON'T LIKE BEING HURT.

START NOW B4 IT GETS WORSE. MY NEPHEW DID THE EXACT SAME THING, MY SISTER WENT AND GOT INFO FROM A DOC ABOUT IT, AND THAT IS WHAT HE TOLD HER TO DO TO HIM.

LET HIM KNOW EXACTLY WHO IS BOSS AND WHAT HE CAN NOT GET AWAY WITH.

SO SMACK HIS HAND REAL GOOD TO WHERE IT STINGS AND LIKE YOU WERE DOING, SIT HIM DOWN FOR 2 MINUTES IN A CHAIR OR IN A CORNER FOR 2 MINUTES. ANY LONGER THAN THAT, HE WILL FORGET WHAT HE IS STANDING THERE FOR.

GOOD LUCK, HOPE I HELPED.

Answer 5

i dont agree with what people are saying to hit him back. its just showing him it is ok to hit. "if you can do it why cant i?" he is probably doing it for attention, so dont give him any. if he hits you once, ignore it. the second time, pick him up with no eye contact, and put him in that playpen with no toys as you have been doing. but dont say anything. after the 5 min are up and you have both calmed down, give him positive attention tell him that you love him and that that hurts when he hits. be consistent, everyone who interacts with him needs to do the same thing, everytime!

Answer 6

Spank him already!!!!!!! Do you ACTUALLY think all those NO-NO words are sinking in????? Just say "NO!" and smack his hand. Time out's DO NOT WORK. I'm sooooo tired of people complaining about "time outs" and trying to talk to kids. Sorry! When you were little did you hear anything or understand those things??? NO!

Oh yeah and kids aren't 'strong willed' or 'hard headed'. That's just a lame way of letting yourself seem like the victim. Just admit it and say, "I'm not strong' or 'a softy'; "Can you see the foot prints on my back?"

Answer 7

Well....try telling him, "Ow! That's my boy you're hitting! don't hurt him!" That usually worked for my mom with my brother. As for his behavior around the other boys, all I have to say is BOYS WILL BE BOYS! But if he's actually hurting them and they don't like him touching them then you should separate him from them.

Answer 8

Children tend to hit themselves when they feel ashamed and I can guarantee you the time outs are doing that to him. That's all time outs do is shame children. How would you like it if everytime you did something wrong someone pushed you aside to be by yourself? You'd feel pretty bad and ashamed of yourself. Maybe when you quit shaming him, he'll stop hitting himself.