parents in law from hell???

Question

My partners mother has no respect for me she has called me a B#@% and other things never to my face but to my partner.She has also said awfull things to my partner. i have told my partner that she is not seeing my son until she gains some respect for us.she called yesterday and talked him into taking my son to her house on monday and at christmas.But she said she will not appologise and that i should get over it.I have always been respectfull to her because it is his mum but ive had enough.I dont want my son to go there he is only 4 months old .I feel bad for my partner though he is really stressed because his mum keeps harassing him about it.what should i do i just want to move my family away ?

Answer 1

Let's fast forward this 10 years and you have my situation. I'll tell you how this will play out. EVERY rule you have for your son whilst there, she will violate and even encourage. No playing on the 4 wheeler w/o a helmet...her...why not..its my house! No cafiene after 7..her..let him do what he wants. No guns and hunting whilst there...her...well your mother doesnt know what she's talking about.

She'll also be telling him that he can always come and live there if he doesn't like rules at home. Will talk badly about you and make you out to be a bad person to your son. No contact. None. Your in laws have got to come with an apology on their lips and humilityAnd your partner has got to back you up and stay firm. It's all about controlling your partner, controlling his life and you're in the swell of his life with a child and if you don't nip this nastiness now, it will only get worse.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

She will always run you down, whether to your husband or your child. Your husband is a wimp and should tell her that she obviously doesn't see the real you. If it were me, my child wouldn't be with anyone else at 4 months old other than by MY side. Stand up for yourself, tell her that she can't feel that badly about you otherwise she wouldn't come into your home (she'll say this is my sons home) and you'll say yes but without me it wouldn't be a home etc. I think you MUST ensure that you say what happens to the baby because it's YOU that cares for it, carried it and went through the pain to have it. Oh girl, I could go on. I think you know what to do. Your husband IS torn though. Maybe he shouldn't see his mum too often.

Answer 3

You shouldn't do anything. That's right, your partner should. This is his Mother. You are his partner and the mother of his child. He should tell his mother that she is not to disrespect you. It is putting him in the middle. Keeping your child from a grandparent won't help either unless she is a danger to the child. It will only create more trouble. Your partner doesn't have to choose between you or her. But he must lay some ground rules. You also don't have to take it. Keep your distance until your partner tells his mother that this has to stop. She has to understand her son is a grown man with a family of his own. She must resist the urge to meddle in your business.

Answer 4

I can relate! My wife's father is nice to my face, but he bashes me behind my back! He resents me and he's jealous that his daughter prefers my company instead of his. He has even introduced her to guys (while we were dating), hoping to prevent her from getting serious with me! He is verbally abusive and has a rotten attitude. Fact is - she wouldn't spend more time with him even if she were single! I treat my wife very well and she says I am the very best thing that's happened to her, and she doesn't want anyone else. He doesn't respect us and he tried minimizing the love between us and puts me down whenever I'm not around. He is a total scumbag - never keeps a job or a home because of his rotten temper - he's often homeless and mooching. He smokes weed all the time and gives my wife plenty of bad advice about life! He tries convincing my wife to leave me and we both know he is NUTS. He is crazier than a sh!t-house rat. I know how you feel. I wish my wife's father would move far enough away there'd be no phones or mail!! What to do? Ignore her and avoid her. Be civil and don't be nasty to her unless she really gets out of line with you. AND tell your HONEY to STAND UP for you whenever that b!tch badmouths you. The very least he can do is be in your corner! My wife does THAT much for me.

Answer 5

it really is time to inform your in-regulations the way you experience. communicate which include your husband about the thanks to't cope with this garbage that those terrible human beings are throwing at you. It sounds like your mom-in-regulation had an fairly puzzling baby/youngster hood because of her moves. My mom abandoned my father (and my brothers and that i) for yet another guy, yet got here decrease back besides. She did this because she change into overwhelmed and sexually assaulted through her father at the same time as she change right into a small lady. even inspite of the actuality that shall we experience sorry for those human beings (or no longer, i'll't imagine that you may want to experience sorry on your in-regulations) we won't be able to stay with them. tell those human beings to stay away; they don't belong on your existence. truly, tell them to bypass to hell in a polite way. they could favor to keep up a correspondence which include your husband and son, yet you've a decision: they could't keep up a correspondence with YOU. human beings accessible at the moment are such jerks that they purely favor to interrupt lives. do not enable those human beings take over you, by way of the indisputable fact that is what they're attempting to do. best of success to you!

Answer 6

I was ina similar situation a while back...where your maothe rin law was my father in law!!

I told me husband that i cant take it anymore. I didnot speak to my inlaws for 3 weeks. He wanted me to apologize but i took a stand that i will not..made it very clear to my husband..But later, my husband talke dto him and then i resolved with him.

So, talk to your husband abt it. Take a stand & make it clear that you will not take this nonsense. Tell him that either he talks to his mother and explain things right to avoid making a scene at home when things go bitter in future between you and her. Tell him she needs to change her ways or atleast stay away from you & your kids. If things dont work then put her in teh same situation in front of his son so that she realizes that it hurts the other person. Last but not the leat move away from her.

Answer 7

Beenn there! My inlas didnt get my 2 boyys anthing last Christmas...They are miine from my first marriage...He also has two and we have one together. Although I refused to go over there I have always allowed him to go with his and our child(ren)...
The way I look at it...Give the kids from dday one the oppertunty to make their own judgements of her.As they grow they will form oppinions of her and YOU...Be the bigger one and they will see it in the end. Aas for me...I go to bed at night knowing I have done the right thing. If your child is not in danger of pysical harm then so be it. I do however voice my oppinion to my husband. He respects me and will not allow her to say anything negagtiveeeee about me in frount of my child. It has also made it alot easier on my husband! ...2 adults may not like each other but the children should not pay for it...It took me a while to get to this point. By the way my mother in law called me a b**** to my face!

Answer 8

Put you foot down. It's your son's FIRST Christmas, do you really want to spend the day with out him or have to put up with someone calling you names?? There is no reason why your husband can't take the baby over there the next day for a late Christmas with grandma.

Answer 9

Put your foot down and say no.

I would never allow someone who cannot respect me to be around my kids, well, not someone in that capacity. Perhaps he's only 4 months now, but what happens when he's 4 years and she calls you a name in front of him? How is that going to make your little sweetie feel to know that grandma thinks mommy's a B#@%?

Answer 10

I think you should talk with her, and in person. Tell her that you have had nothing but respect for her, and that if she doesn't start respecting you she better not complain when she can't call the house anymore cuz u will block off her #. You need to say this in a calm, but firm voice. And also, tell your partner that he can either live w/ his momma, or not give in to her cuz ur tired of that.