Sex at 19 & parents found out....now Im in trouble...?

Question

Ive been sexually active since I was 15 (not something Im proud of) and my parents found out, they were very upset, i lost their trust etc....yrs have passed and never again have my parents known about my sex life until now. Im approaching 19 in a few days and my mother found some birth control pills. She's calling me a bad daughter and about to tell my Dad who is almost sure to over react and possibly kick me out. All Im asking is...Do they really have a right to care about my sex life anymore? Do they have a right to have a say in it? or am I really a bad daughter because Im human and have chosen to have sex with a guy I love? What do I do in my situation?

Answer 1

if your over 18 and ur havin sex go for it no one can stop u and your not being a bad daughter even if your 15 i looka t this way its your life screw it up however you want just be ready for consequences that result (preg, STD, ect.)

Answer 2

Dear Confused,

I think that as long as you are their Daughter and live under their roof they are gonna care and they are gonna have a strong opinion on the subject. I think on your part that using birth control is a REAL good idea and shows that you have common sense and care about what happens. Look at this from your parents side of the room....you are their daughter ( their little girl ) and they don't want to see you make a big mistake and end up below your true potential....like a new born and a ( significant other ) that would put your life on MAJOR hold....not to mention all the s.t.d's there are ( sexually transmitted diseases ) so give them some room and try a little honest open conversation with Mom and Dad...you might be surprised.

Answer 3

You're 18 years old and old enough to have sex in any state (in the U.S. anyway). You have just as much right to have sex as they do. If they're going to insist that you stay celibate then they should lead by example and stay celibate, too. But of course, they are not going to want to talk to you about their sex life because it's "private" and they're married, and it's not your business anyway. Well, maybe your sex life is private and not their business, either. If you're not doing it in their house, then they don't really have a good reason to get upset, especially since it's clear that you're doing the responsible thing and using birth-control. As far as loosing your virginity at 15 is concerned, it is actually becoming quite a common age and there are some states that consider 14 year old females to be old enough to have sex. It really is time for you to let go of the guilt and realize that you're not bad, you're actually just normal. It's time they let go of the past and allow you to be the sexually mature adult that you are. Life is difficult enough without having to deal with parents who don't know when to step back when the child rearing is over. You're going to have to stand up for yourself on this or they'll never stop treating you like a kid.

Answer 4

They will probably never understand. However, if you are adult enough to make the decision to have sex you should be adult enough to talk to them. Explain that you are being safe, you are in love. Of course, they will come back with you are too young to be in love (which may or may not be true). You also need to understand that as your parents, they have the right to care about every aspect of your life until they die. Nine months and almost 19 years have given them that right. Especially since you live with them. They still set the rules. If you don't agree with them, as a legal adult it is your right to move out and be financially independent. Until then, you have to respect them. But perhaps you can talk to them so they have a little more respect for you, too. They will most likely never be happy with your sex life, but maybe you can get them to see that you are an adult now, and need to be treated a little more like one. Hope all goes well. (And yes, love can work that young. My parents were 18 when they got married, still going strong. I was 18 when I met my husband, still going strong.)

Answer 5

First things first.....
yes they have the right to care about your sex life-you are their child, you are unmarried....so of course they are concered
Second
you are an adult so NO they don't have a say in it
Third
No you're not a bad daughter you are human
the best thing to do is to be open with them....
talk to your parents, did they have premarital sex???, if so that is a good point to bring to their attention. You should also discuss that you are in love with this person and you are aware and educated about your decision. You are being responsible by using birth control and if your parent's don't have to accept the decisons that you make, but they have to accept that you are their daughter so it will be something that will blow over in time. it might be unsettling to them now, but it will all cool off.

Answer 6

He's not a minor, so he can put his name on the birth certificate. You might want to check your state laws, but in Illinois, at 17 a female is considered an adult ( a lot of states are that way). I'm guessing that you'll be 17 by the time you deliver. Even if you aren't, they can't make him get in trouble unless your parents decided to be a**holes and get him in trouble. Congrats hun, being a young mother is hard (as it is at any age). But it is SO rewarding!! I wouldn't personally recommend getting married just because you are pregnant unless you were already planning on getting married, y'all can be a happy family even if y'all ain't married. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me or IM hun. Congrats!! And good luck! :)

Answer 7

omg! that sounded like my life story... only they found the birth control pills of mine when I was 15. they didn't even take it into consideration that atleast i was responsible enough to take birth control pills. anyway, you are an adult but if you are still living under their roof, you would probably have to abide by their rules. good luck! because of my parents, i stopped taking my pills and ended up pregnant at 18. i don't regret it because i have a beautiful daughter and her daddy and i have been married for almost 10 years and have 2 more lovely kids. good luck! but remember... if you want to do what you want.. you have to move out and get your own place!!!

Answer 8

I would say that if you are living at home you need to respect their wishes. I don't think you are bad. And You are old enough to do this BUT if you are living at home and they are supporting or even helping support you they have a right to their opinion. If you don't agree with their opinion YOU have the right to move out. So there you have it. If I was in your situation I would move out. I moved out at 17 and NEVER went back home no matter how rough it was.......always supported myself and my 2 children when my ex didn't and never asked my parents for help because I CHOSE the path I took.

Answer 9

You're an adult, and therefore have the right to make your own decisions regarding your sex life, however, you're also living under their roof, which means they can dictate which rules you need to follow in order to stay living there. If they want to tell you to wear a blue flower in your hair every day in order to stay living there, they can. You pretty much have three choices-- 1: Move out and be able to do whatever you want. 2: Stay with them and obey their rules. 3: Stay with them, and do what you want knowing that you risk being asked to leave.

Answer 10

First off you're not a bad daughter, You have the right to have sex, but if you are living in their house they also have the right to limit your "activities." You need to be honest with your parents. Sit them down and tell them "hey I'm 18 I'm an adult andI deserve to be treated like one." Explain to them that you made this decission after carefull consideration and that it does not mean that you love or respect them any less because of it.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

You're their daughter, they're always going to care if they're decent parentss. At 19, I don't think they have much of a say so in your sex life. However, as someone said: their house-their rules. NO you're not a bad person. You & your parents have a difference of opinion. I think it's time you found your own place. YOUR PLACE YOUR RULES :-)