doesnt matter rude or not short or long i want them all
2006-11-30 13:45:50 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what question you can not say yes or no to?
Answer: Are you dead yet
2006-11-30 13:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by babykatdream099 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Below are questions that people "actually asked" of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
(Source: Outside Magazine)
Grand Canyon National Park...
Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?
So where are the faces of the presidents?
Everglades National Park...
Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
Denali National Park (Alaska)...
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Mesa Verde National Park...
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
What did they worship in the kivas -- their own made-up religion?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
Carlsbad Caverns National Park...
How much of the cave is underground?
So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
Does it ever rain in here?
How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?
Yosemite National Park...
Where are the cages for the animals?
What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?
Yellowstone National Park...
Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
How do you turn it on?
When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?
2006-11-30 22:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyday at the coffee machine the same man walks up to the same female co-worker and take a big sniff and tells her how nice her hair smells. After weeks of this she has enough and files a sexual harassment complaint against him in human resources. The HR manager asks woman how is his smelling her hair sexual harassment?.....she replies because he is a midget.
2006-11-30 22:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by CJBig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Timmy is watching his mom make a chocolate cake, when he suddenly wipes a bunch of chocolate frosting all over his face, and says "Hey mom, look at me! I'm a *****r!"
His mom is absolutely appalled, and smacks him HARD on the head with her mixing spoon, and screams at him to go see his father and tell HIM what he said. So the boy goes and finds his dad, and repeats the offending comment.
The dad says "OMG! I can't BELIEVE a child of mine used that word!" And then he promptly starts wailing on him. After a severe beating, he tells his son to go repeat what he said to his grandfather, who was over visiting. So the boy finds his grandpa and repeats the offending sentence.
Grandpa says "Oh, Timmy... I'm SO disappointed! I'm afraid there's only one thing to do... wash your mouth out with soap." So his grandpa makes him chew on a bar of soap for ten solid minutes.
Finally, the three adults gather together, with poor bruised and battered Timmy standing in front of them. His mom asks him: "OK, Timmy, now - what have you learned about racism from this unfortunate episode?"
Timmy thinks about it for a second, then answers: "What I've learned is that I've only been a *****r for FIVE MINUTES, and I ALREADY hate you white mutherfuc*ers!"
2006-11-30 21:58:47 · answer #4 · answered by Stretchy McSlapNuts 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gidday!
Women Drivers
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!
2006-11-30 21:59:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
a bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods when they come upon a Gennie,
the Gennie says "b/c you are the first 2 animals i have come upon in these woods i will grant each of you 3 wishes
the bear say ok me first i wish that every bear in this wood was a female except me
the Gennie say poof your wish is my command
the rabbit thinks for a few minutes then say i wish for the most high tech helmet ever invented by man
the Gennie says poof your wish is my command
the bear says ok ok my second wish is that every bear in the adjoining forest was a female,
the Gennie says poof your wish is my command
the rabbit thinks to himself for a few minutes then say ok i wish for the fastest motorcycle ever invented by man
the Gennie says poof your wish is my command
the bear goes ok ok ok i know my last wish, i wish the every bear in the entire world was female, except me
the Gennie says poof your wish is my command
the rabbit looks at the Gennie then looks at the bear he gets on the cycle and guns the engine looks back at the Gennie and says "i wish the bear was gay" then takes off on the motorcycle.
2006-11-30 21:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by Shorty 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You ask some one.
Did you hear about the famous actress that got murdered, you know Reese..ughh
(then you wait for the person to say)
Witherspoon
(then you say)
No with a knife.
I thought it was hilarious when i first heard it.
2006-11-30 21:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by The infamous bongblaster 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
A blonde walks into a bar.Ouch.
A blonde falls in the mud.Dirty.
Real joke:A blonde,a brunette,and a redhead are arrested and are sentenced to death by a fireing squad.First is the brunette.They ask if she has any last words.She yells "Earthquake!",everyone turns to look,and she gets away.Then the redhead steps foreward.They ask if she has any last words.She yells "Tornado!",everyone turns to look and she gets away.And last(of course) is the blonde.And last words?..."Fire!"...and they shoot her.
3 boys are riding their bikes:Manners,Crap,and Shut Up.Crap falls down and Manners stops to help him.Shut Up keeps going and has a run in with a police officer.The cop asks "What's yer name,boy?"
"Shut Up."
"Hey now!Answer me right,what's your name?!"
"Shut Up!"
"Where's your manners?!"
"Around the corner picking up crap."
2006-11-30 21:57:40 · answer #8 · answered by Emily 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
mdm_28_88 . This poster is definitely a joke. Not very cool though.
2006-11-30 21:48:15 · answer #9 · answered by kippie2525 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
not really a joke though...
answer the following question with yes or no
______, i am a pig...
2006-11-30 22:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by Vicky_Icky 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋